let the light shine through

let the light shine through, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

all day jammie-babies, crusty booger noses, scraped up chins, thursday drives to the beach for blistering hot sweet tripoli's pizza with dad, crazy ocean waves threatening to wash my van away, sitting on fancy dining room chairs on the sand (because they were in my trunk, and why not?), saucy faces of the wees, wonderful clients to talk with birth and mothering with, visit with twin baby boys and fetus friend, and conversation and food and family, and pick-me-up impromptu take-out dinner dates just because, and stalking mafia and family at their new gorgeous home, bringing birthday treats, trip to the farm for stinky animal loving and donut eating and train riding and sandbox playing, christmas shopping for toys (eeks!) by myself yesterday, last night indian food unplanned miniparty with erina and c. and boo and the wedding crashers and peanut butter cups and too too much to drink, and a big homemade pancake breakfast whipped up by my puffy-eyed husband this morning, and snuggling, and rainstorm driving back to the beach, for more pizza, for talking in the car with the rain beating down, watching the horses race on the beach, watching joey form his first words with his mouth that is covered in pizza sauce and crust bits.

this is my life, filled with light shining through even on the darkest of days.

photobooth friday- the movies edition

sunday, november 5, 2006- going to see santa clause 3 at the loop- first mama and daughter movie together

these weird digibooths are confusing, especially for the wees. there's the screen thingie and then the "look here!" thingie. for some reason, us humans really want to stare up at the screen, and not at the "look here!". even me, trying hard to focus and look where i was told, was getting sidetracked and looked in the wrong place for the last shot. my girl just couldn't get it...and ended up looking possessed for most of the shots. if you were at the movies that day...you probably heard me- i was the crazy mama in the digibooth strongly encouraging my three year old to "look there!...right in there! no, not there! here!". digibooths make me crazy.

i must thank each and every one of you for those wonderful comments from my past couple of posts. i should have bad days filled with horrible self esteem more often! (ok, ok, just kidding). i keep thinking of mindertin's description of her bloggie comments and support as a "trail of breadcrumbs". yes, yes, yes, how true. i must say i'm feeling better today- getting on top of my mood, having deep and fulfilling talks with the hubbertins, having an impromptu dinner date (on the couch, after kiddies went to bed) last night, and this morning- taking those damn scissors and cutting off all my hair (again). your hair comments were the ones that really got me- so nice. really people, totally undeserved. the above boothie pics were taken pre-haircut, and you can get a sense of how my hair really was just going somewhere bad. yes, my co-workers shouldn't have pointed it out, but really- they do hair, that's what they do (oh, you were so right vinnie, though- it was totally him!) anywho- i'm not saying my chopped do is any better, i just feel better, and i guess that's what it's all about. so off for a visit now with my fetus friend and her twin beans and some fresh soft pita (large loaf, please!) and creamy lebanese yogurt and hummus and tabbouli (spelling going out the window on those puppies, sorry!) i need my girl and her boys. then work and then weekend. did i mention how much i stinkin' heart the weekends? xo.

spread the love

scrapbook- spread the love, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

digging into the deepest depths of my soul today to conjure up some thursday love thoughts. i keep thinking about how blessed i am, how many people and things and food and comforts i have around me- despite how much i want to focus on my crazy emotions or my tear-soaked turtleneck collar or how all my salon co-workers had a hair intervention with me and told me how horrible i evidently look.

so on with the positives...all about spreading the love:

joey has taken to patting me (and others) on the back when you hold him. he's obviously mimicking what we all do to him- but coming from him, back to us- it will melt.your.heart. feeling those little patpatpats on your back, coming from the fattest little fingers and hands you've ever seen. here's some for you- patpatpat.

it's no secret that the library is my second home. i've spent an awful lot of time there since both kids were born- and have come to know and love many of my favorite people on this earth thanks to going there. yesterday i had the chance to hang out with three other mamas and our collective eight kids at an amazing mamas house right on my own street! i've known these peeps for a while but haven't hung out with them outside storytime. the kids clicked magically, there were juiceboxes and puddings all around, and the mamas were comfortable and relieved to be in each others presence. other real breastfeeding mamas! people who understand. thank you universe for these small gifts.

wearing my knee high frye boots, even to work (despite horrible body mechanics) just because they make me feel good. even though the stitching has all come undone and i basically step out of the boots with each step (hint hint santa claWs).

gray's famous quote from the other day: something about santa claWS...blah blah blah...and then "but mama, i'm really glad we doesn't really have claws."

danny gregory's new book "the creative license." if you haven't checked this out, and you're of the creative type persuasion, you must must MUST increase your bust (not really, but it's fun to write) and go get a copy

just picking up amy sedaris's book "i like you". i want to crack that thing so bad it hurts- it's the book i wish i'd written first.

roasted sausage. sausage. sausage.

drinking a bottle of wine and then topping it off with eight scoops (split three ways!) of gelato.

managing to write about gelato in every post.

feeling sad and horrible but working through it thanks to this list- thanks to thursday- thanks to spreading the love.

xo

self portrait challenge: wham glam thank you ma'am

there's not much glam about good ole nina beana folks. let's face the facts- i'm wearing socks and birkenstock sandals right now with a peasant top and a long sleeve thermal underneath. but there are days when i'm feeling slightly glam- and i throw on some earrings (still with the sandals...you understand) and then maybe something a little funky like this delicious number that acumama whipped up for me. this scarf is the closest thing i have to 'glam'- it makes me feel fantastic when i wear it. a little bit unlike my everyday self. and when i wear it i'm also bestowed yet another fabulous gift- i get to remark upon all the wonderful people, like acumama, that i've been able to meet through this crazy and constant and wonderful world of my bloggie friends. it's a portable, glamourous bloggie hug that i get to wear around my neck all day.

thank you, kristen, and all you other bloggie peeps, for adding a touch of glam to my life. xo

ps- help a broke mama out! anyone out there in cyberspace have the new g love album 'lemonade'? i really, really, R.E.A.L.L.Y. want a copy, but can't shell out the bucks- so wanna trade? i'll make you a nice little something if you send me a copy of these tunes i can't get out of my head?

blissed out

blissed out fairy girl, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

back from the weekend adventures. because everyone seems to love a good weekend recap, here's a glimpse into mine:

-friday night massage...but my first no-tipping experience. i keep trying to remind myself not to judge my skills on people's tipping- because one person's $20 does not necessarily correlate with another man's (yes, for some reason i only have male clients) $0. then i remind myself that i make a damn good hourly wage, and should just zip my lip and be happy with it.

-early to bedding kidlets, and hubby and wife time, including lots of reading in bed, and falling asleep early for mama

-saturday morning family fun activities, which included getting a new winter jacket for the wee-girl, and navigating the tricky "oh, that's a great cinderella jacket covered in sequins, but how about THIS beautiful, practical, warm sage green earthy one that would look so cute on you?" finally getting the girl to agree on our choice (horrible, i know, but YOU try carting around a girl in a cinderella jacket. go ahead. just FEEL the embarrassment.) food shopping. yard work.

-date night with johnpigs to pho! for some reason, our waiter was IN.LOVE. with us. would not leave us alone, wouldn't let us order what we wanted. "oh, you want THAT for an appetizer? NO! you are not getting that! you get this! you get these wings! we don't do them like the chinese do them! we do them better!" says the very excitable vietnamese waiter. so we let him order and we very pleased with the results.

-after dinner, we had part two of our date at the local gelato shop. hello! it threw us over the edge of happiness, we can't stop talking about this gelato. must have something to do with the small spoons.

-yesterday gray and i had a girl-by-girl date- to the movies! i. don't. do. the. movies. (as many of you know- as you repeatedly try to get me to go, and i always decline. something about the fire exits being so far away, and the sticky floors, and the PEOPLE.) anyway, this being said...i'm a sucker for a christmas movie. so we went to see santa clause three- and i had the best time. just me, my girl, and a bag full of smuggled-in halloween candy- her cuddling up in my lap, the fire exits in clear view, and the new comfy-ish chairs and non-sticky floors. AND there was a photobooth in the lobby! of course it was one of those digital numbers but it still made my day!

-chicken chop suey (amanda, i'd give you the recipe, but i don't have one- it's in my brain, and changes every time...sorry!)

-park playtime in the freezing cold...tag, animal games, boogers dripping and superman.

hope your weekends were filled with red cheeks, wool socks, and visions of sugarplums.

another polobooth friday

peace at canobie, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

friday's here again...thankfully. without the weekends to look forward to, i would be a useless, piece-of-poo mama with no drive to forge ahead and get through the week.

so here's another canobie lake park polobooth- featuring steph and i, still the best of friends in so many ways. evidently i was into peace back then, too- and bangs. it seems i just can't escape from the great bang dilemma- to bang or not to bang? my bangs now are just a toned-down version of these bad boys. and you gotta love steph's glasses. i love them. i love every stinkin' thing about those light pink plasticy pimped out frames.

enjoy your weekends! i'll be pondering many projects, and hopefully getting around to some creating. i'm inspired by the monumental get-together of some amazing ladies on the west coast (boho, michelle, liz...to name a few) and trying not to be too envious. maybe we should organize an east coast one? anyone game? speaking of...the local bloggie thanksgiving that i was planning on hosting this coming weekend at my house is postponed due to some crazy scheduling stuff that some of my fav ladies had- so stay tuned.

xo

sappy thursday love

my heart is exploding with love today, as cheesy as that sounds. yet another post where i'm feeling overwhelmed with all the love in my life- all the wonderful, complex, and dreamy souls in my life. thursdays thursdays. they'll do that to me...get me all thinkish about the love around me. so on with the list!:

-feelin' broody and a bit melancholy- and feeling ok with it. thanks to the help of dear thumbelina. last night i was feeling not-myselfish, not-positive-ish- and our talk made me realize that simply- that's ok. most normal people go through ups and downs and have feelings that may not be all happy and shiny, and that's what makes us us, and that's what help us get closer to other people. after our talk (more like talk interrupted) i felt so free of all those things keeping me confused and unfree. the night continued on to be exactly as i would love to spend my last waking minutes on this planet- surrounded by homemade food cooked in pottery bowls, eating together around a table, lots of cheese, a big bowl of halloween candy, and even a little game of "rank you favorite" candy. patiodee- happy travels to spain, land of the mullets. remember, avoid having to pay overseas child support at all costs, despite the lure of those sexy mulletas.

-book group tonight- horrible book (the pianist) but mama gets two hours out alone (aaaah)

-early christmas shopping

-my new vest from free people -new, with tags, little bolero delicious number...thank you ebay for my $.99 buy!

-making some serious cash on ebay with dad

-having a new steering column in my car today...yes, now i can turn my wheel again. all for the cost of $500! (ok, so that wasn't something i loved so much- but now i can drive again- it's been about a good month or so with iffy driving situation)

-homemade salty roasty toasty pumpkin seeds

-massage business picking up- ok, not really- i just have one client that likes to come in four times a week for hour and a half massages (eek!) wish i could write more about it but i feel all bad about confidentiality and such.

-UFO

-paula deen's french onion soup recipe- gotta go with the gruyere

-thumbelina eating said gruyere off my skirt last night, just because she could.

xo
happy thursday peeps. may today bring you broiled buttery slices of french bread, spoonfuls of sticky melty cheeses, and much catching up on your to-do's.

self portrait challenge: imperfect role model

f
trust me, i ain't no role model. my shower is filled with mold, i use inappropriate humor in front of my kids, i haven't taken my trash out, i'm rocking some black circles under my eyes, i heart potty humor, and i'm not opposed to sticking pine cones up my nose for a cheap laugh from the kiddies.

(after i took this picture, i had sap all over my face for the rest of the day. sweet!)

nourish and nurture

peace my peeps. i love this picture of j. because it looks like he's flashing the peace sign. and it features the yellow hood of his favorite car. not so much an outdoorsy kid, but definitely into the peace.

aaah, monday morning again. for some reason, i get this burst of "to-do" energy every morning, where i frantically tackle anything and everything that comes to my mind. trust me, it burns out as quickly as it comes on, but i try to ride with it while it lasts. johnny thinks i'm crazy- grace and i were carving a pumpkin and roasting the seeds for breakfast at 6:30am this morning. now i'm carving out a couple of minutes on the computer, and planning for the week ahead.

this weekend was filled with two of my most favorite activities in the world- nourishing and nurturing. a couple of weeks back, john and i were on a date (with joey) at my favorite organic pizza place, and the table was decorated with painted words. all the words were covered up (with sippy cups, puffs, napkins, etc) except the two words "nourish" and "nurture". and then it hit me- those are my words! that's what i am. that's what i do best. so there you have it- my new mantra (as if i needed another one).

friday night was a reunion of momentous occasion- my dear d&m, back and more beautiful than ever. food, wine, presents, and catching up- family and naked dancing (not the adults). my heart was bursting open at the end of the night- and i still have a hard time putting it all down in words. thank you guys for coming and blessing me with your light!

sat. was the wedding in CT with boo. i went almost 24 hours without nursing, and needless to say, i was one hurting puppy on sunday morning (i don't pump), begging and pleading silently for joey to wake up and nurse. of course he slept all night on sat- what gives? but i'm feeling much more back to normal, thank god.

yesterday was breakfast at our fav. place, and then family time- and then john and i got to go on two separate real dates. we are old people, however, and chose to go to a little bookstore (my new best place ever) and then out for coffee (at 4 in the afternoon, with all our elderly peeps in town) and then later on last night we went out again to borders. we're old. we like books. thank god we found each other.

so that was my weekend in a nutshell. i'm hoping yours was filled with candy corn, peanut butter cups, caramel drippy apples, tea lights, and peace.

stocking up on love

stocking up for the winter, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

i have nothing much to offer today
i'm too busy stocking up on love.

wanna see videos (that may or may not only be funny if you were actually there) of the wedding festivities from last night? check out boo's blog and click away. the first video features the marcarana (or whatever the hell that song is called) being played...with not one single soul dancing to it on the dance floor. it was the saddest moment in wedding history. and freakin' ha!sterical.

xo

for me, it's polobooth friday now

happy happy friday- thankfully another weekend is upon us. this weekend is going to be full and frantic- and frenetic? lately when i've been describing my days and weeks to my peeps, 'frenetic' is the only word that comes to mind. answering the phone calls with babies screaming, vacuuming with wees on the hips for comfort, brownies burning in the oven, trips to the doctor's office. frenetic. although i truly thrive when things are chaotic and frenetic (now i'm just writing it to see how many times i can use it in one post), i also savor the moments when things are quiet, and i curl up in bed with two peanut butter cups and pull the covers waaaay up and just be. i'm off to a wedding in CT tomorrow for a couple i don't know- i'm escorting boo. i'm just a wedding dork that i'm extremely excited- one, for the prime rib (i'm a complete pribe rib whore), and two, for the frenetic debriefing that's going to go down on the carride home, most certainly about boo's endearing fam.

ok, off to another topic- 'polobooth' friday! i'm not dropping my beloved photobooth friday- i still have a bit of a stash of your traditional black and white strippies, but i'm getting low, peeps! and i want to stretch out the photobooth love for as long as i can (we usually don't make trips to the beach/photobooth very much in the winterishtime). so i'm moving on (well, back) to my extensive collection of polaroids taken in photobooth-like-booths, hence 'polobooth'. i've slipped a couple of these bad boys in before. they are some of my nearest and dearest of photos- i have so many polaroids that i just put them into an album that fits 200 pics, and the album is nearly full. so have no fear- lots of old school polobooth action for weeks and weeks to come!

most of these polos were taken at canobie lake park- and for any of you locals out there, you know with the local accent, we grew up calling it "cannabal" lake. a trashy, overpriced amusement park that for some reason seemed like the.coolest.place.on.earth. cannabal lake! if you calculated how much of my (read: my parents') money i spent on canobie, plus the money for the polaroids (i had quite the obsession back then, too)- it would be horrifying. but it was the one thing that i loved (ok, not the one thing-) and so i indulged.

this particular one:


is one of my favorites. steph, my little brother tingballs, and me. for some reason steph and i decided that it would be cool to take the rings off our fingers and fit them into our nostrils. it was taken on 9/6/93, and says "da bulls- check out the booger up t.j.'s nose! the rings give us a beautiful touch!". if there were a fire in my house, i'd want to save this picture. that's how much i love it. while i was at it, i'd grab the whole polaroid book.

happy weekend! may it be filled with shirley temples, extra cherries, and tipsy brides.

xo

happy thursday in all its crazy glory

birdalicious, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

hap hap happy thursday- the day when i get a quick minute to reflect on all things good, on all the lovlies in my world:

the smell of fresh baked bread floating through my car after grocery shopping this morning, making me want to pull over and rifle through the bags in the backseat, and gnaw on said loaf until satisfied

upcoming visits with two of my most favorite individuals in the whole entire world tomorrow afternoon. cheesy toasty chicken parm and brownies and candles and love

this whole week, and past weekend. sounds cliche, but i have the best people in my life...constantly surrounded by the coolest peeps i could ever hope for. between my mama friends at the library and my high school friend get-together where we talked about what kind of toilet paper we buy and myspace, and then my boo and my jess and patiodee, and eating, and more eating, and did i mention eating? and then my visit my cousin today who is literally my twin separated at birth (remember our photobooth strips with the big bubblegum bubbles?), deep talking and catching up admist my drooling and boogery kids. all my guests smelling like pathouli soap against their wills.

when i ask grace "grace, what do hippies believe in?"- she says "peace! love! togetherness!" and then i say "are you a hippie?" and she screams "YES!". probably one of my most favorite things in the world.

egg donation, prospective parents, family histories, all that jazz

author talks, calendars filling up, planning shopping trips and christmas concerts

remembering another loved one lost- thinking of good memories of living with my auntie who just passed from cancer, working with her in her ceramic studio, painting tiny little ceramic care bears

free featherbeds (thanks auntie donna! for the donation and for introducing me to the wonders of featherbed sleeping!)

chili. pizza. coffee. vanilla bean ice cream and warm brownies.

vanilla sugar lip gloss

finally working again (but don't get me started on inappropriate clients)

hanging with name and her sister- being an italian grandmother and forcing them to eat! eat!

taking caramel of all the peeps i love

self portrait challenge: imperfectly mustachioed

ok, ok, it's a stretch- i know. but to be perfectly honest, i wasn't feeling the theme today. i wasn't feeling pinpointing and nailing down one of my many imperfections. today i'm feeling silly and happy and kind of quiet all at the same time. so this is what you get...imperfectly mustachioed.

corn husky goodness- fall sun- scarves and hats and playing outside at the house i grew up in. life is good.

and for all you poetry lovers out there, a tiny piece of a poem entitled "who be kind to" by allen ginsberg:

be kind to your neighbor who weeps
solid tears on the television sofa,
he has no other home, and hears nothing
but the hard voice of telephones
click, buzz, switch channel and the inspired
melodrama disappears
and he's left alone for the night, he disappears
in bed-

something about these words spoke to me this morning, especially considering my tenuous relationship with my neighbor. trying to really reach here with the love- spreading it around to everyone that needs it, even those nasty neighbors.

happy tuesday, happy mustaches.

crying with inspiration

call me sappy, call me cheesy, but i just watched this video and i'm weeping like a baby. inpsired with happiness. maybe it's the four cups of coffee coursing through my veins, but i feel like i can conquer the world with hugs.

hope your sunday rocks the casbah.

whole lotta lovin' goin' down

DSC00129, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

so i missed photobooth friday, for the first time in a long time. i just couldn't bring myself to get on the computer and get my act together yesterday, although i did manage to scrape together one and scan it in. the kids have been high maintenance and my computer time is limited and unproductive at best. so here i am, a day late.

lots of things going on in my mind- lots of planning for the upcoming holiday. i'm obsessed with thanksgiving. i'm obsessed with the idea of everyone together, sharing food and stories and cramming into my small cottage of a house. if you know me, and haven't gotten a specific invitation, consider yourself invited. no place to go? don't like your own family? come on over to our house, and we'll feed you and drink you up. as long as you can put up with my family and the "cozy" space. we may opt for a buffet style meal due to seating considerations. everyone is welcome. it's thanksgiving, after all.

also thinking about having a "bloggie thanksgiving" of sorts- a time for my bestest bloggie peeps to get together and meet in real life. i feel like when i'm with you guys, you're all curious about each other, and i think you would all get along fabulous in real life, so i was thinking, why not just get everyone together? i'm thinking my house, desserts and possible crafting, and hanging out. i'm thinking mindy, erina, jecca, boo, feminknit, danielle, and anyone else local (i wish you were all local! i want you all here!). i'm thinking possibly sunday nov. 5th, before everyone gets crazy with holiday stuff. i'm sorry to write about this here but i'm just sort of throwing it out there, to see what everyone thinks. anyone in? how's the date work for everyone? i think it would be a smashing good time.

laura, if you're out there in cyberspace, i just received your package, and it made.my.life. seriously the best little package of pick me ups ever. two gor.gor.gorgeous scarves and perfect notecards and the best little journal around, that i'm going to snuggle up with in a bit with some tea. thank you thank you thank you! again, i feel like i'm making out like a bandit in this whole swapping business.

there's been a whole lotta quilting being done (my husband quilts. yes people, my husband quilts for fun. we went on a "date" to the fabric store today. i'm not kidding you). and eating. of course there's been eating. another loaf of scala bread, some chickens, lots of cheese and peanut butter cups. thank god for nursing an almost one year old, because without all those calories being burnt, i'd be a little scared.

speaking of calories, my girl jen had a great idea of a little recipe swap, and i'm posting mine up at swaparama mama (see more at amanda's, too). it's for pistachio torte, john's mom's secret recipe. freakin' A, it's damn good. good enough to blow the secret on swaparama mama. sorry jen, i know you already have this one, but it's the gilbert signature recipe, and the first that came to mind to post!

the story behind the photobooth: me and eric c., an old buddy from high school. when i worked at a local pool as a "pool attendant" (i'm not kidding you- not obligated in any way to save drowning people, because no! i'm no lifeguard, just the pool attendant. although i did end up having to save someone, but that's another story for another time)- anyway, eric came to hang with me often at the pool, smoking his cigarettes, being dark and creepy but somehow cheery at the same time, baring his hairy midriff to make me laugh. eric was a good soul, and i suspect he still is. i saw him not too long ago at borders, and he had become a police officer, of all things. crazy to me, considering some of his past antics. i love these pictures because we both look happy and cozy in the booth, snuggling in our friendship. and the smudgie on my cheek always reminds me of football or strange warpaint. happy late photobooth friday, and happy weekend dear peeps!

all the things around me that i love

-striped socks

-jumping up and down while holding joey- watching him get all excited/confused about it

-pumpkin and amaretto gelato, courtesy of jecca- big scoops on top of warm slices of pumpkin bread, fresh out of the over, topped with real whipped cream (courtesy of a squirty-can)

-not taking a shower yet today even though it's 10am and i should be ready- today i'm choosing to go with the flow, have a second cup, cut myself a thick slice of pumpkin bread and live in the moment

-fat stacks of delicious library books, including "laporte, indiana" and "found" and organic style magazines and gourmet magazines

-looking forward to the little things, like the phoenix coming out on thursday nights, and making a car trip across town to pick it up

-my drive to drop off and pick up grace from school- 20 minutes each way of fall foliage and my favorite radio program (hi, i just wrote 'program'. i'm turning into my grandparents)

-joey really starting to walk now- last night he walked from one couch to the other. me deciding that i'm not putting real shoes (the cutest red sneakers ever invented) on him until he learns to walk for real. i feel like it's messing up his natural balance.

-chop suey. i made a huge batch (read: 6 plus pounds of ground beef- can you imagine what it's
like frying that up?) of chop suey for my best loves last night. a huge, steamy pot full. and we.ate.every.last.drop. not to mention a whole package of buns and a loaf of pumpkin bread. oh yeah, and the gelato. oh, and the wine. and all that beer. can't forget the beer.

-project runway finale. i had the best of intentions to stay up- but with my full belly, and the comfy covers and my hubbiecuddles, i just. couldn't. make. it. i fell asleep for the last 15 minutes of the season finale- when they reveal who won. hello! i did see the runway part though, and was totally impressed with everyone's designs, although my boyfriend michael let me down a little bit with those crazy keyholes and jungle prints. anywho, congrats tattoo neck- if i was a lot cooler (and richer) than i am, i would actually purchase and wear your clothes. if i actually ever had real plans and left the house.

-seeing boo manically happy yesterday made my life

-i have a real date with my mom tonight. we never spend alone time together since the kiddies arrived, so it's long overdue. should be fun to get out and be an adult for a bit.

-my mechanic jimmy. jimmy, you would never read this blog, as you probably don't own a computer, and if you did actually own a computer and find my blog, that would be a little creepy. but anyway, i really love you jimmy. you saved my life these past two weeks, you don't charge me, you let me pull up to your shop with my kids in the car with no appointment and you come out and try to fix my van the best you can, even though you have all these other peeps in your garage waiting for you. and yes, jimmy, my van let us down and is still "wicked" broken, and requires upwards of three hundred dollars of work, and a whole day of your time, but you still manage to put a positive spin on everything, and let me buy my own parts with the help of my dad's mafia connections (kidding, sort of). anyway, jimmy, you freakin' rock. everyone should have a mechanic like you.

-did i mention the gelato? the freaking gelato. i can't get enough.

xo
happy thursdays peeps.

self portrait challenge: imperfect mama

i took this picture yesterday. yesterday afternoon to be exact. both of my kids were on napping strikes, and the chaos level at my house was at an all-time high. i found myself losing my patience. wanting to have my "me" time that i value so much- just a couple of minutes to get me recentered in the afternoon. i was losing it, needing a break- losing my cool when the kids were testing me. i took a step back from the situation, leaned up against the nearest wall, and took this picture. imperfect mama. mama needing a break. a nap. some tea or some ice cream, just to get through the afternoon.


and to counteract all this imperfectness goin' round- i offer you this poem by allen ginsberg:

I made love to myself
in the mirror, kissing my own lips,
saying, "I love myself,
I love you more than anybody."

allen ginsberg, new york, december 30, 1951

breathe out

sunflowers and mint for mama al, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

aaaaah. the weekend. the forest and leaves turning and sweaters on and sweaters off. knee high boots and socks and romping through the woods and knit pumpkin hats and signing songs and eating with family and friends and watching movies curled on the couch and peanut butter cups and snuggling, reading books under the covers. breakfast in the sun and lots and lots of tea and hay rides and donuts and drink treats and magazine dates and the kids being crazy with love.

may the week fly by, and bring us yet another weekend. f. a. s. t.

and holy cRAp is this man a genius, or what? go here to be dazzled with sticks.

welcome to the fun house

fun house, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

thank you for the well wishes peeps. i feel one hundred percent better, feeding myself baked chicken parm and scala bread (one of my many food weaknesses- i can eat a whole loaf of seasame seeded scala bread, easily) and pistachio cookies. essential oils and long showers and outfits that make me feel good. the warmth of my friends around me, surrounding me literally (today i'm sporting a shirt of steph's, layered with a shirt of nicole's, topped off with erina's sweater) and figuratively. little vigil's with candles and pictures in the corners of my home to remember the departed this week. trips in the car for coffee and free newspapers. new red shoes for joey, his first big boy pair, as he learns to walk. conversations between women, my women. keeping me afloat. keeping me grounded with perspective. reading "drop city" and loving it- i have about 20 pages left and i never want it to end. moving on to "the pianist" for my new (and oh-so-loved) bookgroup (more womentalk). finding peace in a simple breakfast of eggs and tea, and coloring with my children. helping one of my dears escape on a much needed respite. providing solace. the smell of olive oil and braised ribs downstairs. hay rides and apple ciders this afternoon, cinnamon and sugar sticking to our lips. candles burning next to the computer screen. babies waking in the next room. these are the sounds and smells and events of my days. all part of my wonderful fun house.

sending out wishes for good weekends to you all.

photobooth friday: the stooges edition

happy happy friday. this lovely little digital sticker number features me ramming the heads of the three stooges together. yet another photobooth adventure that i.have.no.memory.of. hum. the only photobooth that i've ever stepped into alone. i do remember that this was taken at the local mall, while john was away in kosovo. i may have been chaperone-ing a field trip of sorts with troubled teens (i can't think of any other reason why i'd be in the food court at the mall inside a digital photobooth.) i'm guessing that i didn't pick the stooges setting, although i do hold a soft spot in my heart for the constant and senseless violence, as i did grow up watching them with my dad. this was me. sad, lonely, newly married with a husband off to war, working with teens that called me the big old cee-u-next-tuesday many times a day. taking photobooth stickers of myself to put on the handwritten letters to my man. sending a piece of myself to him. smashing the heads of the stooges together.


this week has been interesting, draining, horrible and wonderful. it's been filled with mourning, and rememberance, and womentalk. i have a post brewing about the power of womentalk, but right now i'm just too sick to get it together. for some reason i've been throwing up (not pregnant- really). must have picked up some germies along the way- between the library playgroup for joey and the craft group for gracie and gray's school and the ten other playdates we've had this week. so i'm off to the toilet. trying to decide if i need coffee bad enough to warrant it coming back up, burning.

sending love to my girls d&m. love you more than i can say. xo

self portrait challenge: imperfect life

my life is not perfect. despite how it may sound on this sun-shiny blog. i choose to write about the things that make me happy. the things that fulfill me and make me whole. but not every day is perfect and organic and bread-baking-in-the-oven. sometimes i'm sick and cranky and have pms and my kids don't share and one of them refuses to go to school and i lose it...i get zits and the dust bunnies under my bed would frighten you. i look forward to bedtime and sometimes we eat cereal for dinner and my kids don't get baths every day. nobody has the perfect life. we all choose to share what we share. some of you have called me out on my goodness-sharing (and i love you for it). and i really have thought about it, what i write and how i choose to write it. darlene wrote a enlightening post about it recently that got me thinking about apologizing.


what i do know is that the times that i have chosen to write about my muckiness, my real gritty day-to-day frustrations and troubletimes, you all have rallied around me, lifted me up like little life rafts. without those raw and open moments on this blog, i wouldn't have felt that love and support- wouldn't have gotten to know your beautiful souls as well as i have. and for this i am grateful. grateful for imperfections. for an imperfect life.

i think about imperfections. i live through them and work with them and get over them. what else can i do?

for more imperfections, go here.

what the weekend had to offer

*pasta with meat sauce
*organic pizza and the most delicious salad on the face of the planet
*big wood-fired oven and warmth and down vests
*fall festivals and drives and foliage galore
*john and boo splitting a bottle and a half of whiskey, and then crying all night long, telling me how much they love me, and each other (they never drink, let alone together, so this was pretty momentous)
*deep talks, deep thoughts
*incense
*pathouli handsoap driving everyone crazy
*roasted chicken and veggies a-la-gilbert
*watching joey take eight steps
*playing with renee and mike
*lots of candles burnin'
*bird santuaries
*taking myself on a kidless and husbandless date for a pumpkin muffin, coffee, and outdoor antique fair- buying a nepalese painting of shiva for one dollar...and boo's christmas gift, and two relic kitchen utensils for ten cents each
*hippie scarves
*going out to breakfast with the kiddies- watching joey eat pancakes

while full and amazing, this weekend kicked my anus (we throw the word 'anus' around here like it's nothin') and i'm feeling it baaaad right now. my glands are swollen and my throat is k.i.l.l.i.n.g me. add no sleeping (no really...no sleeping) into the mix and i'm about ready for the funny farm. so much so that john took joey on his run with him, and grace and i are having some chill time. i'm supposed to be sleeping. but i'm blogging. drinking herbal tea. gray is watching charlotte's web II. but it's kind of creepy when the bad fox comes on. so i have to keep rushing back to my bed, holding her during the fox parts. and when i just did, and heard the fox say something mean...i said "he's just a butthead. oops! i shouldn't have said that." (trying to be good- she is in school now). and grace then managed to trump me with "yeah, he's pretty much a crackhead".

hope your weekend was filled with crackhead moments that kept you on your toes. xo

photobooth friday: the 'breaking up is hard to do' edition

my parents. sweethearts since the age of 13. divorced when i was 23 (memory is hazy here as far as exact ages goes-) . my mom moved out and moved on the day after john and i got married. but for some reason, even though they've broken up and moved on and taken different paths, i still hardcore heart these photobooth pics (luckily i ended up with them- hence the reason why they still exist at all). they both look young, healthy, happy. and they were, i'm sure, at the time. even though things change, people change- i'm trying to take away the happy moments, the blissfully hippieish moments of my childhood. moments in a photobooth. kisses. miracles. to deny these moments would be to deny my existence completely. thank you, dear parents, for finding each other, for making it work while you did. and for being brave enough to jump ship while you could, making the most of the rest of your lives.

things i love thursday: the movie edition

because i haven't posted clips in a while,
and because someone specifically requested them...here are the babes, at their best

i've tried to capture the "learning to walk" phenomenon, but it gets a little chaotic and tricky, resulting in near-camera-death (see video for example)


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

and one more:


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos


also, piper...hi! thank you for checking in. i'd write you back personally but i don't have your email address. thank you for your amazing comment- i've been thinking about what you wrote, and your journey, and it has solidified for me that this is something i must do. thank you for sharing, for being brave, for being you.

xo

my five words of the day

in the spirit of my dear blogging buddy pancakemama, i offer you five words (and pictures):

1. nature

the way my children explore in nature is so amazing to me. i've been trying to exercise a certain amount of distance from them while they explore their world- letting them get dirty, and maybe take the occassional harmless mouthful of sand. yesterday, while in the garden, gray moved easily among the plants, naming the herbs and what was left of the veggies, offering little bites of herbs to her brother, which he happily took.

2. art

our house has become a glittered, bedazzled playhouse, our table overflowing with small little scraps of paper. grace has discovered the wonder of scissors- and just can't get enough. i have to find ways to get rid of the days scraps to make room for tomorrow's. it's a scrap wonderland. scraps plus glitter equal happiness.

3. nursing

i spared y'all the full on boobie shots- at 5am, it's just too early for even me to handle them. but my life lately (not much different from not-lately) has consisted of nursing. nursing an almost-walking, bucking-around, little-ish ball of energy that we like to call 'poomalooma'. i'm trying to soak it up, love every minute of it- but our days may be numbered. he's too busy lately to be interested- except, of course, three times when i'm sleeping.

4. coffee

yes, maybe the word 'coffee' shouldn't follow the word 'nursing'- i'm sorry. i can't help it. coffee helps me be the best mom that i can be. and coffee plus fall equals love. and throw dr. scholl's into the equation and you've got full-on bliss.

5. paisley

paisley scarves, to be exact. fall brings out the scarves, and scarves equal paisley. i heart everything about the fall.

self portrait challenge: imperfection (me and my microwave)

this month's theme over at self portrait challenge is 'imperfection'. aah, imperfection.

my first picture features me and the inside of the door of my microwave.

mind you, we are not dirty people. but we are not clean freaks, either. we get much more enjoyment from being outside and frolicking in the woods. but sometimes, things like the inside of our microwave get overlooked and quite- um, utterly disgusting.

i didn't plan on taking this picture until i went to heat up a potato yesterday for lunch. i saw this and the light bulb in my self portrait challenge head went off- DING! imperfection at its best. i took some other pictures of me and the inside of the actual microwave, but they are way too scary and horrid to post here.

luckily, this picture inspired me to take the time to clean out the nastiness. so thank you, self portrait challenge, for keeping me in check.

spinnin' right round

DSC09976, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

today is one of those crazy days. my mind is spinning and my head is pounding. this weekend was full and satisfying, filled with work (yes, work!) and the kids and pizza and a date and family and orchards.

my car broke today but my dad saved the day by fixing the problem with a washer and a piece of masking tape. no, i'm not kidding you. just one of the benefits of living a mile away from mcguyver/dad magician man.

also, i've been pondering my career lately, mainly because i've been hearting work so much lately. i get high off of my massages lately (that sounds kind of dirty, but i mean it in the most purest way, i swear). i loved working six hours this week (gasp! six hours- doesn't sound like much, i know. but for me this is huge). waiting with baited breath for my new business cards, with a lotus flower and all.

shout out to c&j who just purchased their first home!

also thinking seriously about egg donation. seriously as in i'm considering shooting myself with hormones with a NEEDLE and probably will start the 26 (not kidding) page application if my kidlets ever go down for a nap. that is, of course, i get called into work at the last moment. i feel like the massage therapist superhero that has to swoop in at the blink of an eye to soothe aching muscles with this whole on-call thing. anywho, has anyone out there ever donated eggs, and if so, is it scary? i've never had surgery before and from what i'm reading, i'll have to actually go under and it's painful, etc. i'm really motivated to help another mama out though, and i want to be a surrogate but it's not the right time for me right.this.minute. because i want to finish having my own kids first. so this is a bit of a compromise to tide me over. any opinions welcome here...

finally, this picture. this picture kills me. look at pum's little fingers reaching out. grace's little leg stance. these kids give me the worst black circles under my eyes but the best damn life i could have ever hoped for.

obviously i'm all over the place today. still love me, please.

photobooth friday: the trollish edition

aaah, friday. happy photobooth friday. this was taken last weekend on our maine date adventure- at york beach, maine, at the fun-o-rama. 9/23/06. john and i have had some pretty bum photobooth luck lately. it seems that every time we step into one- something happens- our money gets eaten, we wait for what seems like three and a half hours and our pictures don't come out. john would be perfectly happy to just walk away and call it quits- but me, aaaah- i need to have my photobooth fix. there's nothing worse than having the photobooth rush, only to walk away if it doesn't go your way. then my social anxiety and awkwardness kicks in and i beg and plead for my shy husband to go and accost the fun-o-rama teenage staff to fix the machine, give us our money back, etc. john looks like he'd rather die but loves me so that he walks away with his head down, headed for the pack of mohawked teens just waiting to make fun of the close-to-thirty somethings who love photobooths. these beauties are from our second attempt that day- after teen intervention. after having to move to another machine in the back of the place. one that the teen explained "the pictures don't come out by themselves...so when you're done, come and get me and i'll get them out." this was one of these newer machines that's actually really a computer, but it only cost a dollar. a dollar, people! i could've dropped twenty if john wasn't with me. as you can see from the first pic, it's also one of those crazy machines that has two holes- one with the camera, one with the viewfinder, so you get all confused as to what you're supposed to be looking at, and when. i was totally caught off guard and look a little slow. john, however, was right on the money.

after our diner trip, while i was in the bathroom, john surprised me with this little bumper sticker treat. first off, let me say that there's no way in hell that i would be caught dead with this on my car. if you have one, kudos for you...but not only am i not a pet person, i'm certainly not a bumper sticker person. or a pet related bumper sticker person.

with that being said, this was my gift. us cats here speak in meow language to each other (trollish moment, i know). john and gray speak cat to each other- most of what they say to each other only involves the word 'meow'. meow means to many love-filled things to us- it's a short word that says a lot. meow. so even though i won't put this on my car, it will go on my inspiration board and make me smile and chuckle when i'm sad.

on our drive home, i was doing my usual car activities (read: banging), when i spotted a car next to us that had a "WOOF" sticker (trollish moment #2). for some reason, i was overcome with excitement, looked at john...grabbed our "meow" sticker and said "hey! she has a woof sticker! i have to show her ours!" and proceeded to hold up (read: wave frantically) our meow sticker at her. she didn't even look over at us (meow).

needless to say, john hasn't laughed harder in his life. he could.not.stop.laughing. at 1. my trollishness and 2. childlike excitement over taking animal talk with a complete stranger in the next car.

all i have to say is

meow.

things i'm absolutely crazy insane (in a good way) over thursday

1. joey. my joe. i realized that i haven't been writing about the kiddies much lately- i haven't been detailing their day-to-day progress, their antics, their gemlike qualities that keep me alive. but believe me...my days are filled with moments that make my heart want to explode. my boy is nine little months old, and taking his first steps. three in a row so far. three tiny steps. he flaps his arms frantically, like he's trying to fly. we tell him "walk walk walk, flap your wings and fly" and then he falls. to see such a tiny being trying to walk is one of the most delicious and magical things i've ever witnessed. if you haven't witnessed it firsthand for yourself, i suggest you make your way over to my house, grab a plate of food, sit on my couch, and behold the wonders of learning to walk.

2. kooky crazy carrot pirate eye patches.

3. fall feet. one of my favorite things in the world is getting cold dew all over my flip-flopped feet, getting in the car, and blasting the heat on them. probably not the best thing for my skin, but i'm a fall junkie and i just can't help it.

4. at gray's school, they call her my 'mini me'. every time they say it i want to cry with happiness. my mini me.

when we got out of the car today at school, gray's teacher was in the parking lot talking to her friend, and she took one look at grace and said "i love that kid. she really is special." aah.

5. music. lately i can't get enough. when we're not listening to records and dancing like dirty hippies, the kids and playing our little beat up ukelele. grace usually asks for help from her ponies. joey plays the thing like his life depends on it. and lately i've gotten the chance to listen to the coffeehouse radio show almost every morning- lori mckenna, rose polenzani, deb talan, josh ritter, regina spektor. all flooding me with goodness.

6. the zoo. i have mixed feelings about the zoo, but no mixed feelings about my awesome zoo companions yesterdays, mindertins and her o. our kiddies rode in the wagon while m. developed her arm muscles by pulling the two three year olds around, along with a stocked cooler. our visit was filled with requests "can we have a snack? where's the play area?" gotta love that kids can be right in front of a pack of wolves, and jaguars...but still just want to play. and eat.

7. my girls. seeing my twin baby boys. hosting a clothing swap on monday night and making out like a freakin' bandit.

8. wine. bad tv. wednesday nights. anchovy pizza. stripping. sports bras.

9. this poem.

my dreams, my works, must wait till after hell
by gwendolyn brooks (1945)

i hold my honey and i store my bread
in little jars and cabinets of my will.
i label clearly, and each latch and lid
i bid be firm till i return from hell.
i am very hungry. i am incomplete.
and none can tell when i may dine again.
no man can give me any word but Wait,
the puny light. i keep eyes pointed in;
hoping that, when the devil days of my hurt
drag out to their last dregs and i resume
on such legs are left me, in such heart
as i can manage, remember to go home,
my taste will not have turned insensitive
to honey and bread old purity could love.



happy thursday. happy almost weekend. hugs to you and yours.
p.s.- hey chad! :)

trust

"when i'm trusting and being myself as fully as possible, everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously." -shakti gawain

self portrait challenge: me and my weekend loverman

me and my weekend loverman, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

it's no secret that my man works a ton. his work ethic and stick-to-it-tiveness allows me to stay home and raise our babies...for us to live in this fairytale of a house...for us to eat splendiferic meals every night with all our friends. if our relationship consisted of just the work week, it would be a sad, sad thing.

luckily, my man is my secret weekend loverman. each weekend is something to look forward to, even if we don't have plans. no working on the weekend for him- just us, and just us plus kiddies.

this is our only wedding photo. john got it made for me years after our actual wedding, from one of the proofs we were lucky enough to snag from our deadbeat photographer. we paid in full, she shot our wedding, and then skipped town. claimed bankruptcy and we never got one stinkin' picture (or our money back). but even though at the time it kind of stunk, it's almost more special just to have one picture, hanging in an out-of-the-way special corner of the house. it hangs at the bottom of our stairs, where not many of our guests can see it. but every time i walk down from our bedroom, i take a quick glance at it, and know that even though my man is away, he's always coming home...and there's always the weekend.

i wear earrings, yes it's true

i wear earrings, yes it's true, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

aaah, bedtime. the house is quiet, except for the hum of the air conditioner. my book club book is calling me...sleep. come to bed. read three of my pages and fall gently asleep.

this weekend rocked the casbah. i hope yours did too. it involved the following, not necessarily in order:

being scared by large groups of screaming teenagers

meeting up for a friday night date (tee hee) with my girl femiknit...sharing rice krispy treats bigger than our heads and chocolate and delicious drink treats. reading trollish books and getting stared at for being trolls together, as c. knit a vest. yes people, she was knitting a sweater vest, and actually stopped to wonder why people thought we were crazy (tee hee). i, however, proceeded to vent and fume and ponder my future as i usually do when i hang out with c. it was perfect c. therapy.

saturday was my date day with john. we've been planning this all week, calling and emailing each other like lovesick teenagers, discussing all the details. when sat. rolled around, we hucked the kids off to two separate familysitters, and left for our mini trip to maine- the maine diner. people, if you haven't had a taste of the maine diner, get yourself a map and drive yo asses to wells, ME for some good stinkin' eats.

i had about four pounds of lobster stuffed into a buttery roll, and my old man of a husband had a turkey dinner, with garnish and all. we laughed, went antique non-shopping, discovered new beaches (wells, york), found a new photobooth, found the strangest arcade game ever, where you "fish" for lobsters, and if you win, a real live lobster falls out (i took pictures, i swear i'm not lying). we also went to a drive-by liquor store on the highway, just because we could. gotta love new hampshire, i tell you.

(the lobster zone video game- only in new england)

today was cleaning and more eating and waking and driving to 'todd farm'- this big outdoor antique market/flea market/mud pit in the middle of nowhere. we took my fairy of a mother-in-law. i bought an electric blue apron that features enamelware pots and spoons-- and of course wore it around the whole time. luckily my family loves me and didn't abandon me, despite their embarrassment.

now it's off to bed. to rest my head. i'm posting the pictures of the earrings just to prove that i actually did 1. purchase them and 2. wear them.

happy photobooth friday, y'all

taken last week

september 17, 2006
mama and grace
salisbury beach, MA

gray: crying and needing a nap, but putting on a happy face for the pictures

mama: tired from auntie jojo and auntie libby's wedding, sportin' flowers (courtesy of gracie) in her hair


there's a pretty good chance that more photobooth goodness will be had today, as we're headed to the beach with puppa in a bit. of course, there will be pizza. and debriefing. can't have a car ride with puppa without lots and lots of debriefing.

a mama and girl kiss

a mama and girl kiss, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

good morning again to my bloggie peeps-
another sleepie morning, with the girl off to school, and the boy back in bed with the snifflies. i'm here trying desperately to clean up my inbox (that sounds dirty, huh?) and plan some crafting projects and clear my head and get organized.

yesterday was a pure deeeelight- you can check out some photos that i put up on my flickr account (www.flickr.com/photos/ninamariegilbert) or just click the handy link on the sidebar. mama al was a glowing and fabulous and stupendously preggo hostess with the mostess, as expected. the kids played deliciously and even let us have real adult conversations! we ate and picked apples drenched in chemicals, mused about growing third heads, walked through the orchards watched the babes play with sticks and get dirty. i feel so lucky to have reconnected with yet another of my soul sisters- the day was perfect, leaving me wishing that i lived closer to we could catch up a couple of times a week, grounding each other in our journeys of mamahood.

today is breezy and fallish and the leaves are changing. i've got three cups of joe coursing through my body. i've cut all my hair off yet again. i got to listen to my favorite radio show 'coffeehouse' on 88.9 two days in a row, which to me is the equivalent of doing drugs. last night i got to feed lots of people i love with fresh herby lasagna, topped off with pineapple upside down cake ice cream. people relax on my couches and to quote vincent from project runway ..."it gets me off". today life feels grand and open and wide with possibilities.

also, i wanted to post the links to some of your amazing life lists. if i missed yours, please comment and i'll add you. i just think it's so powerful to see what everyone's up to in their noggins- the power of dreams. thanks for participating! xo

knitting momma
femiknit
pancakemama
rachel
erina

and if you haven't done one yet (even if you don't care to share)- try it! it's so freeing to get it all out. today is as good of a day as any.

hopeful adventures

(feet hanging off the edge of a recent hayride)

it's early. really early. i've been up since 5am, wanting to get up and turn on the coffee pot. i finally pulled myself out of bed, nursed joey, and then brewed some life-saving java. now i'm sitting here taking a moment to say...good morning.

i'm excited about the day today. we're headed to connecticut to visit my not-so-near and dear mama al. our three year olds are like to dirty-hippie-peas-in-a-pod. i'm looking forward to sitting back and watching them play and explore in her sprawling backyard, nursing some more, eating, and catching up on our girl-yet-mama talk. watching her pregnant glow. you know me and pregnant mamas! we've also got some plans for apple picking, so there will be more dew soaked feeties and crisp apple hunting. it will certainly be worth the drive, that's for sure.

and then back to MA tonight for lots of eating and talking and bad tv. having jess around to inspire my girlishness and creativity and organizing of my past (for some reason she inspires to to put my old journals in order, and put my photos into albums, and organize my old letters by person- ) has been such a blessing. seeing everyone eat food i've created for them is one of the most satisfying things on the planet.

grace just walked into my room, fresh from sleep- hair all frizzed up around her tiny face- and she greets me with "i just wanted to spend some love time with you. wanna snuggle in your bed?" grace says the most perfect (and sometimes random) things when she gets up and walks into our room (our rooms are all connected upstairs). it's one of the things i live for- to see what she has to offer me on these early and hopeful mornings.

*she also just said "happy myles day, mummi. wanna call myles?" don't worry mama al, we won't call you at 6:30am, i promise!