today is the day

today is my day
for comfy pants
and staying home
and bracing for the snow storm
for ripping down the tree
for ornament super gluing
for some assembly required

today is my day
for crock pot chili
and little pieces of chocolate
that add up to one big piece of chocolate
and leftover cookies
and endless cups of tea

today is my day
that i act like a post-christmas referee
and refocus
and snuggle
and rub some sleepy heads on my lap
and wait for it to get dark
so we can all go to sleep
and do it again tomorrow.

why i am the luckiest person ever

reason number one billion:

** i woke up this morning to the following email:

hello sweet mama!

just wanted to let you know that i gifted you with a year's subscription to Boho Magazine for a little holiday cheer! love you. so so much. hope you are lovin' up your man and have am amazing christmas with the fam all together!!! yay!

thank you for being such a wonderfully shiny, beautifully inspiring and deliciously yummy supporter and friend! i don't know what i'd do without you :)


WHAT? i am so lucky to be blessed with amazing friends and family. it's ridonkulous, really, how lucky one person can get. yes, i know my fair share of whackballs, but the good certainly outweighs the bad, and people like mindy certainly tip the scales in the good department. thank you for keeping my faith alive when it comes to the creative spirit and the spirit of giving! xx


also, i found out that i won this incredible giveaway at this incredible blog. if you haven't checked out the glowing temple blog or website, definitely do! i made this recipe and it was yum.


off to fill the day with gingerbread cookies, movies, popcorn, incense, and santa. xx

on mail and snoring

can we just talk for a minute about mail? for as long as i can remember, i've been a little bit of a mail whore. i love sending mail, and i love getting it. but around this time of year, my mail whoreishness gets taken to a new level- and i just about attack my poor cigarette-smoking mail lady to tear through my stack of letters (after i air them out a bit). i love holiday cards, i love seeing little smiling faces peering out of my mailbox, and love catching up with friends i haven't heard from in months. MAIL! ok, mail. i love mail.

i had fun making our christmas cards this year. i used cereal boxes and vintage wrapping paper and vintage rick rack (gifted to me from kat!). the picture of the kids is kind of blurry and not perfect- lulu is sporting pink eye and everyone is sick. but it was as good as we were going to get this year---- i was tempted to print out one of the outtakes which involved screaming, biting, and/or hitting but decided to go with the more smile-ish one.

if i have forgotten to send one to you it's because i don't have your address! so please send.

in other news, my boyfriend is back in town! i haven't written about it here but j. has been away for almost five months. so yeah, it's been a little crazytown here in gilbertland. we are in a major transition here now that daddy's home- mama's getting used to having dirty socks laying around...and the snoring! the snoring! that's one thing i'm going to have to get used to again. ;)

leaving on a jet plane

today
i am leaving
on a jet plane

it's all about
conquering fears today


and by conquering fears
i mean
i am
letting myself eat cookies for breakfast
have wine for lunch
and take lots of dramamine.

plus,
i have lots of fancy new magazines
in my little backpack
to keep me busy!


bon voyage! xx

merry pukesmas! and happy pink eye.

there are so many germs here. like mutant freakish germs that i've never encountered in my life. they are wreaking havoc on our lives. i am overtired and i am grumpy. i have done my fair share of yelling this past week and i am not proud. i have been pushed to my limits, felt completely alone, and depleted. but just when i have felt my lowest, felt that i couldn't do another sleepless night on my own, watch one of my children throw up every 15 minutes, hear screaming from a crib another minute, want to know what the universe provides?...



wait for it....



PINK EYE.



enough said.

the lesson? it can always be worse. and even the "worse" isn't all that bad when you can lounge around in jammie pants and clogs and play under the christmas tree all day.

(the sibling rivalry though? i could definitely use a break from that.)

xx

color and radness

hope your day
is

colorful

and

radical.


xx

happy pukesgiving!

i've been on an involuntary lockdown here in gilbertville since wednesday! with a very sick little gray to take care of, and regurgitated peace parmesan pasta wheels to wash off of every surface in our home (along with an exciting mix of regurgitated tuna and red velvet cupcakes- that was just wrong), mama is in desperate need of a break! there have been bright moments- like dancing to jazz christmas music, watching an insane amount of movies, some good groceries thrown in the mix (hello probiotics!), the bright lemon-yellow vintage necklace i scored yesterday for $1.59. today the kids are in a santa parade, so we'll see how that goes. hopefully nobody is projectile vomiting off the side of the float! and if they are...i'll be on the sidelines, saying "those aren't my kids!" ;) just kidding- i'll be there, with hot chocolate in hand, ready to clean up some more messes!

crossing my fingers that everyone's healthy for thanksgiving! i'm going to take about 50 spirulina tabs today and wish for the best.

living the good life

today
i purchased
my first plane ticket
and i bought one for my oldest girl gray, too
and i made my christmas cards
and i cleaned out the fridge
and i let the kids draw all over huge posterboards
and we drew some killer rainbow villages
i wiped some butts
i wiped some tears
there's homework and baths to be done.
and now i'm cooking fish
that my neighbor caught and gave to me
and i'm going to treat myself
to some wine
and a movie tonight

this is the rhythm of my day.
it's a good life.

there are certain things i love about joey

here are some of them:

* he loves to dress himself. today he is wearing almost every color in the rainbow, but has managed to make them all clash. he's wearing gym shorts over pants and snowboots and a sweatshirt with a button-up short sleeve shirt over it. and he really, truly thinks he looks amazing.

* he loves to snuggle.

* he cries every day.

* even on the days that he drives me crazy, he still cups my face in his hands during our kiss goodnight and tells me how much he loves me.

* even though i splurged and bought him an actual halloween costume at a real retail store this year (spiderman!), he insisted on wearing this undersized duck costume to our town's halloween party. his little butt had a duck wedgie and all i could think of was the scene in the movie the christmas story when ralphie comes down wearing the rabbit costume. except that joey was really into being a freaky little duck boy.


joey is special and i love every bit of him.

random love bits from me to you.

random love bits from me to you:

* i went to a conscious and creative parenting workshop last night with my local holistic moms group. i felt really inspired when i left (so inspired that i actually stayed up late drinking wine in bed and reading trashy fiction) and decided to employ some new techniques this morning. of course it lasted for about 30 seconds until all hell broke loose, all three kids crying and screaming simultaneously, resulting in joey accidentally falling down a very large flight of stairs and busting his face open. bruising, swelling, ice, more tears. all before 7am. take that conscious parenting! there's always tomorrow...

* laughing at myself recently because i noticed that i use an upside-down frisbee for my paint palette. i wonder what that says about me as an artist...

* listening to the newest corrine bailey rae album that my bestie gifted me with. also listening to the newest ani difranco album in attempts to pregame for the concert that i'm going to this weekend with my brother- also going to see melissa ferrick! very excited about this.

* i have piles of wet leaves all over my lawn to bag. but there's also a strange unknown large beast pooping all over my lawn so i'm dreading going out there and dealing with the poop/leaf combo.

* hooping class again next week. any locals interested let me know!

* full holiday mood in effect- presents wrapped, projects on the table, candles burning. haven't started listening to music yet but thanksgiving we'll start jamming to our xmas vinyl...

* peace out. xx

ridiculous quotes

daily,
i find myself
saying ridiculous things
most seriously

things like
"no, we don't eat clementines on the toilet"

and
"yes, it's completely normal for poop to smell bad"

and
"frankly, i think santa is a creep but if you're into him then that's cool."


the end.

perfectly fine.

some days
are hard

and some days
are not

but when i look at
these two pictures,
all is well with the world.

(this one doesn't hurt, either...)


xx!

two hands

there are times
like today
when i need
more than two hands

but two hands
will have to do
the trick

no matter what.

dig.

when i am
determined
to have a good day
not even the crazy lady
driving 50 mph and tailgating me in a school zone
yelling at me and chucking me the finger
can get me down

i just turn up my old
digable planets
cd
and smile.

new work

(this last one is SOLD!)

even with my little wild children running about, i've still been able to eek out creative time to work on some paintings. i just finished a new series of paintings, four of which are for sale. each one is 12" by 16" and ready to hang. i'm really into the idea of painted quilts and have been obsessed with painting them. they are layery and texturey and bright- perfect for a nursery or a funky room. convo me if you're interested and i can send you pricing- priced affordably for the holidays! xx

i just got back from the art supply store and i bought two huge canvases. i'm headed off to the painting cave for some art therapy!

black eyes and color so bright

blog posting at a minimum due to this crazy kandi kid who likes to swing from the light fixtures. there are bumps, and bruises, and black eyes. but through it all, there is color so bright it's blinding. we are all getting through, living in the moment as much as we can.

xx

escape

when the
going gets tough
(and even when it doesn't)

we
escape
into
the
forest.


where do you escape to?

days like this

some days
are really crappy
and at any given moment
someone needs their bum wiped
or someone is puking up cottage-cheese like
chocolate milk
all over the rugs
someone's crying
someone's fighting
someone lost a shoe
someone stepped in dog poop
someone's whining
someone's just being a real jerk.

on days like this
i almost go there
and have a pity party
for myself

i try hard not to
but sometimes i kind of do

sometimes
like today
i put everyone in the car
and drive through the rain
and make everyone look at the foliage
and then i go buy expensive bread and cheese
and some salad
and have a mug of tea.
sure, it's not good for the environment,
this mindless driving around,
but sometimes it's what i have to do.
and then i take pictures of the kids
in mid-flight
and i feel better.


the end. xx

real talk 2010 revisited

after writing and posting this blog post about real talk 2010, people came crawling out of the woodwork, bruised and bleeding, just itching to tell their real talk tales. i could not have imagined the stories that my friends had- just waiting to be shared. it was actually pretty life changing- the opening up, the rawness, and the connections that i felt in the aftermath of that posting. i've been marinating in the real talk over the past couple of months since that post, thinking about the stories that we all have to offer, the secrets that keep us prisoner.

i think there's something to be said for having a friend offer you an outlet to share something taboo. i think there's something healing in laying out your most raw, vulnerable, and oftentimes not-pretty tidbits, and having someone tell you that it's OK. that they do not judge you. that they too, in fact, have their own undesirable shitty things. that we all have our shit.

and let me tell you- i've learned more about my friends since june than in the whole lifetime of these friendships. it's radical. and in the opening, i have learned more about myself. i've learned about balancing the "positive talk" and the "real talk". there is something healing to be had with a good dose of real talk. it allows you to go deeper, to be more authentic.



see how i'm rambling? this is the reason why i haven't wrote this "real talk 2010 revisited" blog post until today. i still can't eloquently say what i want to say about it. but here's the bottom line- NO REGRETS about 2010 being the year of the real talk. keep layin' it on me, friends, and i'll lay it all down for you, too.


xx

my butt

lately
i have had
lots of little people
up my butt
all day long
and now that one of them
has a later bedtime
there really isn't one waking second
during the day
when i don't have someone rubbing up against me

some days i wonder
if my skin
is literally chaffing off
with all the rubbing

there are usually dried streaks
and smears
from somebody's bodily fluids
across my shirt
or skirt

there are days
when i feel
like i might go crazy
and then there are other days
when i feel like the luckiest person
in the world

to be covered in love
overwhelmed with family
to be crowded with joy
to be allowed to bear witness
to the chaos.

xx

simple rules to live by

(gray and her shadow's "peach heart" while peach picking the other day)



1. if your well is empty, fill up someone else's and yours will feel magically full again.

2. if you don't want to do something, don't do it. if you want to do something but are scared to, do it anyway.

3. if you feel like poop, surround yourself with stuff that makes you feel less like poop.

4. if you feel awesome, rub your awesomeness on someone that feels like poop.

5. get up and do it all over again tomorrow.


the end.

xx

grounded

trying my best
to stay grounded
but every day
it's work

hard work

but that is the way of life
and i am thankful
for all the teachers
in my life.

so many things that i like

there are so many things that make me stop in my tracks from the joy they bring. things like:


double braids


painting random surfaces in my house bright colors on dreary days. and lulu messing up my cookbooks all the time.
joey's new picture pose, and the fact that he wanted to take his shirt off at the park the other day so he could look more like a superhero

mushroom hunting

cut butt magnets and gray's drawing of me as a superhero

lulu's budding mullet and joey's other picture face- he rarely makes a serious face in pictures, just like his mama!

the first leaves falling! and new skirts for $5!

the fact that joey loves to wear slipper socks with his sneakers on 90 degree days

tomatoes, and little grubby fingers trying to steal them

the first pumpkin spice muffin of the season, delivered to me by a sweet friend.




loving life. soaking it up. what about you? xx

lavender love

we have a big bunch of lavender growing next to our front steps. i love walking by it when i get the mail, brushing my hands through the flowers and getting enveloped in that amazing smell. i love picking the flowers off at the end of the season and then using them when i make my hot packs for the holidays. i love everything about lavender (except eating it). this year, as summer comes to a close, i decided that we'd make lavender smudge sticks. we sat in the hot afternoon sun, picking off some of the flowers to use later in the season. but i let the kids clip off the tops of the lavender, and then assemble them into smudge sticks. i helped with the tying together with lavender colored embroidery floss. then we set them out on the steps to dry in the sun for a day or two.

i talked to the kids a bit about the smudging process when we finally got around to burning one of the sticks. but i found that the value was more in the process of sitting and creating something together. i may add smudge making into our yearly late-summer tradition arsenal, which includes pesto making and dried herb making.