choosing gratitude

today i chose to be grateful.  even though this week was rough, even though i never changed out of my clothes from yesterday, i never put on a bra, i wore a hat instead of doing my hair.  i chose to open my eyes and look at the beauty of the world around me.

i am grateful for::

*being able to go on long(ish) walks with friends in the freezing cold, collecting sticks and climbing rocks.  just getting outside in the cold quiet is such a gift.

*family dinners out.  we went out last night and it's something we all enjoy.  yes, it might be expensive but it's one of the few things we splurge on.  it's nice to take a break during the week from the usual routine and sit across from each other.  we get to hear about gray's endless stream of boyfriends and stories about their friends at school.  i treasure these moments because i know that some day i will miss them terribly when they go off on their own.

*lulu's school.  i love that we are able to send her to a co-op, and that i get to volunteer in the classroom.  although yesterday i was co-op mom and it was also a full moon...and i must say, i came home a VERY tired mama.  i give major props to pre-K teachers...any and all teachers.  that is serious WORK.

*the promise of a creative brunch on the horizon tomorrow on the ocean.  this week has been challenging in many ways for our family and the thought of a mini escape (and my little one is playing hookie and coming with me) makes me happy.

*new bright red tea cups

*fresh cornbread almost every day

*cooking meals for my family almost every day, being healthy enough to get up and do so, and having enough money to afford to provide nourishing food for everyone.

*the new incense i was gifted....burning it and taking a minute to slow down

*sleeping with rusty.  even though i said i would NEVER have a dog sleep in my bed.  even though i've been known to say that i don't even really like dogs that much.  i am totally whipped by my little puppy and he's the best snuggler in bed.  we don't do it very often because we don't want him to get used to it...but when we do....it's good...

*having the kids and johnny take my boots and my socks off at the end of a long day.  joey's foot rubs.  anyone's foot rubs.  calf rubs.  anything.  i'll take anything i can get.

what's making you slow down and say thanks today?

bracelet love

throughout this pregnancy, lots of crazy things have happened that keep showing the parents and i that this experience was truly meant to be.  this story is an example of that...

two weekends ago, when i attended the double rainbows' shower, i was going around being introduced to everyone.  all the people that i met were really incredible, open, and loving.  the DR(double rainbows)'s mom introduced me to one of her best friends, and the best friend said to me "i hope this is OK but i have a little something for you."  (this was unbeknownst to the DR's mom, btw).  she handed me a box and a card.  and as i was opening the box, she said "i took my seven year old to the store with me and she picked this out for you."  when i opened it, inside i found a beautiful "path of life" alex and ani bracelet. 

it was the SAME EXACT BRACELET i had given the DR's mom for her birthday at the beginning of the summer (also when we found out i was carrying the twins).  the best friend had no clue that i had already given this same bracelet to her friend (mind you, there are like millions of alex and ani bracelets with tons of meanings)...but the DR's mom and i just stood there, with the hairs standing up on our arms, all freaked out in the best of ways possible.

so now we have matching bracelets to commemorate this journey.  i love looking down at it knowing that these days of incubation are truly part of my "path of life."  i wouldn't change it for the world. 

gratitude list

i am a big fan of gratitude lists, not just during this time of year, but the whole year long.  i love taking the time to think about all the ways that we are blessed.  i love focusing on the good.  i also love everything about the holidays and the time leading up to thanksgiving, when we will gather with our family and really focus on what matters. 

so with that, i present to you----my gratitudes!

*  so grateful for joey's healing capabilities....this wednesday will be his last eye appointment.  despite his traumatic eye injury, he's walking away with all his vision and no major lifelong complications!  and after this, no more $35 copayments every day!

*  grateful for sitting around a roaring fire with the women in my faith group----just listening to them speak as we go around and share in the circle.  i always preface whatever i say with "i don't have much to say this month" and then typically launch into something...they all inspire me to be a better mom and have a closer connection to my spirituality.  plus, i adore sipping on tea that i don't have to make for myself.  i could listen to them talk and process for hours. 

*  attending the double rainbows' baby shower last weekend!  i can't even put it into words...won't even try.  it was moving, emotional, overwhelming.  i walked away from the day feeling so filled with light and so happy that the babies are going to be surrounded by so much love in their lives.

*  my friends and my mom who took me out to shower ME with love and to celebrate my surrogacy journey.  we had an awesome dinner out----and it even included us having to leave the restaurant while the fire department came!  they showered me with gifts to pamper myself, a wrist full of meaningful bracelets with powerful symbolism, wine, scarves, a pedicure and a beautiful necklace.  i felt so lucky to have all these incredible women in my life.

*  last weekend i also went to an awesome "sprinkle" brunch for my friend who's expecting her third baby.  who invented brunch?  i want to make out with them.  brunch is amazing.  friends eating and drinking together in the morning is amazing.  especially when you are celebrating a baby!

*  john and i finally got a chance to redeem my massage gift certificate that i got for my birthday.  it was life changing!  we got our first couples massage at this awesome place in town.  i enjoyed every second (which truthfully can be hard sometimes for me) and i loved all the aroma-therapeutic stuff my therapist used.  and the hot towels on my feet!  and she massaged the rainbows.  it was a good, good day.

* getting asked to be a bridesmaid in my brother and ashley's wedding!  we went dress shopping this weekend, and not only was i happy to be included in on the day, but i was happy that my very-pregnant body is still cooperating and letting me trek around everywhere and keep up with everyone!  i don't even know what i would do if i had to slow down for some reason.  knock on wood....

*  hanging out with our dear friends and watching polar express like we've been doing before the holidays every year since gray was a baby.  just catching up and sharing food together, picking up where we left off.  watching our children have fun together.  creating new memories and traditions. 

*  the promise of lots of good things on tap----the small things, like breakfast dates and shared cups of tea, and the bigger things, like hosting thanksgiving, all our christmas activities, and then, you know, delivering these beautiful babies. :)


what are you grateful for lately?  xo

Just today

the hostess with the mostess, mindy, at her awesome retreat that i was lucky enough to attend for part of the day

me and my little mini-me...you can see from this picture how drained and exhausting some days in late october/early november have been...she's got enough light for both of us, though

frida kahlo halloween costume...(basically i got home from work, didn't change, threw on my DIY flower crown and a unibrow and i was good to go)

It's so cliche, but time is flying by.  I'm pretty sure I start off every blog post writing the same thing. I'm trying to find the balance between a very busy schedule and making time to just sit down and do a whole lot of nothing.  It's a delicate balance...one that I'm not good at mastering.  Just when I was looking forward to November, thinking that it would be a time for me to slow down and turn inward, Joey experienced a pretty traumatic eye injury (Hyphema...who knew!) which is requiring us to take him to the eye doctor every day for monitoring.  He was on bedrest for a whole week, missing school and trick-or-treating.  He's doing much better now and has regained full sight in his eye, thank goodness.  I think he might even be going to gym class today for the first time.  But seriously, the whole thing had me eating my words about November.  I had a moment where I broke down and cried in John's arms, not knowing if I could manage all Joey's appointments, my appointments for the pregnancy, the girls' commitments, and John's travel schedule.  I felt the overwhelm take over and just broke down.  But John looked at me and gave me the simplest, most epic advice, which was "Just take it one day at a time, Nin."  I was looking at the calendar and getting overwhelmed with it all.   But when I actually chilled the funk out and took a deep breath, I realized that I could (with a little help from my friends) get through each day...and it actually wasn't all that.bad.

I'm feeling better about it all now.  Joey's back to school.  I'm able to have a little breathing room to try to get myself into optimal shape for the last trimester of cooking these babies.  There are lots of vitamins and supplements involved.  And a new addiction to smoothies every day.  Gearing up for a weekend of celebrations, three days of partying!  And also gearing up for hosting Thanksgiving here in a couple of weeks, which we absolutely love to do.  Thanksgiving is definitely our thing...our best holiday.  And since John will be away for Christmas this year, it's even more reason to throw ourselves 100% into it.  November is already flying by.

Every day when I look at the calendar, I try to focus just on today.  What can I do to take care of myself?  What can I do to nourish my family?  What really needs to be done and what can be forgotten about for another day?  Just today.  Just today.