self portrait challenge: imperfect role model

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trust me, i ain't no role model. my shower is filled with mold, i use inappropriate humor in front of my kids, i haven't taken my trash out, i'm rocking some black circles under my eyes, i heart potty humor, and i'm not opposed to sticking pine cones up my nose for a cheap laugh from the kiddies.

(after i took this picture, i had sap all over my face for the rest of the day. sweet!)

nourish and nurture

peace my peeps. i love this picture of j. because it looks like he's flashing the peace sign. and it features the yellow hood of his favorite car. not so much an outdoorsy kid, but definitely into the peace.

aaah, monday morning again. for some reason, i get this burst of "to-do" energy every morning, where i frantically tackle anything and everything that comes to my mind. trust me, it burns out as quickly as it comes on, but i try to ride with it while it lasts. johnny thinks i'm crazy- grace and i were carving a pumpkin and roasting the seeds for breakfast at 6:30am this morning. now i'm carving out a couple of minutes on the computer, and planning for the week ahead.

this weekend was filled with two of my most favorite activities in the world- nourishing and nurturing. a couple of weeks back, john and i were on a date (with joey) at my favorite organic pizza place, and the table was decorated with painted words. all the words were covered up (with sippy cups, puffs, napkins, etc) except the two words "nourish" and "nurture". and then it hit me- those are my words! that's what i am. that's what i do best. so there you have it- my new mantra (as if i needed another one).

friday night was a reunion of momentous occasion- my dear d&m, back and more beautiful than ever. food, wine, presents, and catching up- family and naked dancing (not the adults). my heart was bursting open at the end of the night- and i still have a hard time putting it all down in words. thank you guys for coming and blessing me with your light!

sat. was the wedding in CT with boo. i went almost 24 hours without nursing, and needless to say, i was one hurting puppy on sunday morning (i don't pump), begging and pleading silently for joey to wake up and nurse. of course he slept all night on sat- what gives? but i'm feeling much more back to normal, thank god.

yesterday was breakfast at our fav. place, and then family time- and then john and i got to go on two separate real dates. we are old people, however, and chose to go to a little bookstore (my new best place ever) and then out for coffee (at 4 in the afternoon, with all our elderly peeps in town) and then later on last night we went out again to borders. we're old. we like books. thank god we found each other.

so that was my weekend in a nutshell. i'm hoping yours was filled with candy corn, peanut butter cups, caramel drippy apples, tea lights, and peace.

stocking up on love

stocking up for the winter, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

i have nothing much to offer today
i'm too busy stocking up on love.

wanna see videos (that may or may not only be funny if you were actually there) of the wedding festivities from last night? check out boo's blog and click away. the first video features the marcarana (or whatever the hell that song is called) being played...with not one single soul dancing to it on the dance floor. it was the saddest moment in wedding history. and freakin' ha!sterical.

xo

for me, it's polobooth friday now

happy happy friday- thankfully another weekend is upon us. this weekend is going to be full and frantic- and frenetic? lately when i've been describing my days and weeks to my peeps, 'frenetic' is the only word that comes to mind. answering the phone calls with babies screaming, vacuuming with wees on the hips for comfort, brownies burning in the oven, trips to the doctor's office. frenetic. although i truly thrive when things are chaotic and frenetic (now i'm just writing it to see how many times i can use it in one post), i also savor the moments when things are quiet, and i curl up in bed with two peanut butter cups and pull the covers waaaay up and just be. i'm off to a wedding in CT tomorrow for a couple i don't know- i'm escorting boo. i'm just a wedding dork that i'm extremely excited- one, for the prime rib (i'm a complete pribe rib whore), and two, for the frenetic debriefing that's going to go down on the carride home, most certainly about boo's endearing fam.

ok, off to another topic- 'polobooth' friday! i'm not dropping my beloved photobooth friday- i still have a bit of a stash of your traditional black and white strippies, but i'm getting low, peeps! and i want to stretch out the photobooth love for as long as i can (we usually don't make trips to the beach/photobooth very much in the winterishtime). so i'm moving on (well, back) to my extensive collection of polaroids taken in photobooth-like-booths, hence 'polobooth'. i've slipped a couple of these bad boys in before. they are some of my nearest and dearest of photos- i have so many polaroids that i just put them into an album that fits 200 pics, and the album is nearly full. so have no fear- lots of old school polobooth action for weeks and weeks to come!

most of these polos were taken at canobie lake park- and for any of you locals out there, you know with the local accent, we grew up calling it "cannabal" lake. a trashy, overpriced amusement park that for some reason seemed like the.coolest.place.on.earth. cannabal lake! if you calculated how much of my (read: my parents') money i spent on canobie, plus the money for the polaroids (i had quite the obsession back then, too)- it would be horrifying. but it was the one thing that i loved (ok, not the one thing-) and so i indulged.

this particular one:


is one of my favorites. steph, my little brother tingballs, and me. for some reason steph and i decided that it would be cool to take the rings off our fingers and fit them into our nostrils. it was taken on 9/6/93, and says "da bulls- check out the booger up t.j.'s nose! the rings give us a beautiful touch!". if there were a fire in my house, i'd want to save this picture. that's how much i love it. while i was at it, i'd grab the whole polaroid book.

happy weekend! may it be filled with shirley temples, extra cherries, and tipsy brides.

xo

happy thursday in all its crazy glory

birdalicious, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

hap hap happy thursday- the day when i get a quick minute to reflect on all things good, on all the lovlies in my world:

the smell of fresh baked bread floating through my car after grocery shopping this morning, making me want to pull over and rifle through the bags in the backseat, and gnaw on said loaf until satisfied

upcoming visits with two of my most favorite individuals in the whole entire world tomorrow afternoon. cheesy toasty chicken parm and brownies and candles and love

this whole week, and past weekend. sounds cliche, but i have the best people in my life...constantly surrounded by the coolest peeps i could ever hope for. between my mama friends at the library and my high school friend get-together where we talked about what kind of toilet paper we buy and myspace, and then my boo and my jess and patiodee, and eating, and more eating, and did i mention eating? and then my visit my cousin today who is literally my twin separated at birth (remember our photobooth strips with the big bubblegum bubbles?), deep talking and catching up admist my drooling and boogery kids. all my guests smelling like pathouli soap against their wills.

when i ask grace "grace, what do hippies believe in?"- she says "peace! love! togetherness!" and then i say "are you a hippie?" and she screams "YES!". probably one of my most favorite things in the world.

egg donation, prospective parents, family histories, all that jazz

author talks, calendars filling up, planning shopping trips and christmas concerts

remembering another loved one lost- thinking of good memories of living with my auntie who just passed from cancer, working with her in her ceramic studio, painting tiny little ceramic care bears

free featherbeds (thanks auntie donna! for the donation and for introducing me to the wonders of featherbed sleeping!)

chili. pizza. coffee. vanilla bean ice cream and warm brownies.

vanilla sugar lip gloss

finally working again (but don't get me started on inappropriate clients)

hanging with name and her sister- being an italian grandmother and forcing them to eat! eat!

taking caramel of all the peeps i love

self portrait challenge: imperfectly mustachioed

ok, ok, it's a stretch- i know. but to be perfectly honest, i wasn't feeling the theme today. i wasn't feeling pinpointing and nailing down one of my many imperfections. today i'm feeling silly and happy and kind of quiet all at the same time. so this is what you get...imperfectly mustachioed.

corn husky goodness- fall sun- scarves and hats and playing outside at the house i grew up in. life is good.

and for all you poetry lovers out there, a tiny piece of a poem entitled "who be kind to" by allen ginsberg:

be kind to your neighbor who weeps
solid tears on the television sofa,
he has no other home, and hears nothing
but the hard voice of telephones
click, buzz, switch channel and the inspired
melodrama disappears
and he's left alone for the night, he disappears
in bed-

something about these words spoke to me this morning, especially considering my tenuous relationship with my neighbor. trying to really reach here with the love- spreading it around to everyone that needs it, even those nasty neighbors.

happy tuesday, happy mustaches.

crying with inspiration

call me sappy, call me cheesy, but i just watched this video and i'm weeping like a baby. inpsired with happiness. maybe it's the four cups of coffee coursing through my veins, but i feel like i can conquer the world with hugs.

hope your sunday rocks the casbah.

whole lotta lovin' goin' down

DSC00129, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

so i missed photobooth friday, for the first time in a long time. i just couldn't bring myself to get on the computer and get my act together yesterday, although i did manage to scrape together one and scan it in. the kids have been high maintenance and my computer time is limited and unproductive at best. so here i am, a day late.

lots of things going on in my mind- lots of planning for the upcoming holiday. i'm obsessed with thanksgiving. i'm obsessed with the idea of everyone together, sharing food and stories and cramming into my small cottage of a house. if you know me, and haven't gotten a specific invitation, consider yourself invited. no place to go? don't like your own family? come on over to our house, and we'll feed you and drink you up. as long as you can put up with my family and the "cozy" space. we may opt for a buffet style meal due to seating considerations. everyone is welcome. it's thanksgiving, after all.

also thinking about having a "bloggie thanksgiving" of sorts- a time for my bestest bloggie peeps to get together and meet in real life. i feel like when i'm with you guys, you're all curious about each other, and i think you would all get along fabulous in real life, so i was thinking, why not just get everyone together? i'm thinking my house, desserts and possible crafting, and hanging out. i'm thinking mindy, erina, jecca, boo, feminknit, danielle, and anyone else local (i wish you were all local! i want you all here!). i'm thinking possibly sunday nov. 5th, before everyone gets crazy with holiday stuff. i'm sorry to write about this here but i'm just sort of throwing it out there, to see what everyone thinks. anyone in? how's the date work for everyone? i think it would be a smashing good time.

laura, if you're out there in cyberspace, i just received your package, and it made.my.life. seriously the best little package of pick me ups ever. two gor.gor.gorgeous scarves and perfect notecards and the best little journal around, that i'm going to snuggle up with in a bit with some tea. thank you thank you thank you! again, i feel like i'm making out like a bandit in this whole swapping business.

there's been a whole lotta quilting being done (my husband quilts. yes people, my husband quilts for fun. we went on a "date" to the fabric store today. i'm not kidding you). and eating. of course there's been eating. another loaf of scala bread, some chickens, lots of cheese and peanut butter cups. thank god for nursing an almost one year old, because without all those calories being burnt, i'd be a little scared.

speaking of calories, my girl jen had a great idea of a little recipe swap, and i'm posting mine up at swaparama mama (see more at amanda's, too). it's for pistachio torte, john's mom's secret recipe. freakin' A, it's damn good. good enough to blow the secret on swaparama mama. sorry jen, i know you already have this one, but it's the gilbert signature recipe, and the first that came to mind to post!

the story behind the photobooth: me and eric c., an old buddy from high school. when i worked at a local pool as a "pool attendant" (i'm not kidding you- not obligated in any way to save drowning people, because no! i'm no lifeguard, just the pool attendant. although i did end up having to save someone, but that's another story for another time)- anyway, eric came to hang with me often at the pool, smoking his cigarettes, being dark and creepy but somehow cheery at the same time, baring his hairy midriff to make me laugh. eric was a good soul, and i suspect he still is. i saw him not too long ago at borders, and he had become a police officer, of all things. crazy to me, considering some of his past antics. i love these pictures because we both look happy and cozy in the booth, snuggling in our friendship. and the smudgie on my cheek always reminds me of football or strange warpaint. happy late photobooth friday, and happy weekend dear peeps!

all the things around me that i love

-striped socks

-jumping up and down while holding joey- watching him get all excited/confused about it

-pumpkin and amaretto gelato, courtesy of jecca- big scoops on top of warm slices of pumpkin bread, fresh out of the over, topped with real whipped cream (courtesy of a squirty-can)

-not taking a shower yet today even though it's 10am and i should be ready- today i'm choosing to go with the flow, have a second cup, cut myself a thick slice of pumpkin bread and live in the moment

-fat stacks of delicious library books, including "laporte, indiana" and "found" and organic style magazines and gourmet magazines

-looking forward to the little things, like the phoenix coming out on thursday nights, and making a car trip across town to pick it up

-my drive to drop off and pick up grace from school- 20 minutes each way of fall foliage and my favorite radio program (hi, i just wrote 'program'. i'm turning into my grandparents)

-joey really starting to walk now- last night he walked from one couch to the other. me deciding that i'm not putting real shoes (the cutest red sneakers ever invented) on him until he learns to walk for real. i feel like it's messing up his natural balance.

-chop suey. i made a huge batch (read: 6 plus pounds of ground beef- can you imagine what it's
like frying that up?) of chop suey for my best loves last night. a huge, steamy pot full. and we.ate.every.last.drop. not to mention a whole package of buns and a loaf of pumpkin bread. oh yeah, and the gelato. oh, and the wine. and all that beer. can't forget the beer.

-project runway finale. i had the best of intentions to stay up- but with my full belly, and the comfy covers and my hubbiecuddles, i just. couldn't. make. it. i fell asleep for the last 15 minutes of the season finale- when they reveal who won. hello! i did see the runway part though, and was totally impressed with everyone's designs, although my boyfriend michael let me down a little bit with those crazy keyholes and jungle prints. anywho, congrats tattoo neck- if i was a lot cooler (and richer) than i am, i would actually purchase and wear your clothes. if i actually ever had real plans and left the house.

-seeing boo manically happy yesterday made my life

-i have a real date with my mom tonight. we never spend alone time together since the kiddies arrived, so it's long overdue. should be fun to get out and be an adult for a bit.

-my mechanic jimmy. jimmy, you would never read this blog, as you probably don't own a computer, and if you did actually own a computer and find my blog, that would be a little creepy. but anyway, i really love you jimmy. you saved my life these past two weeks, you don't charge me, you let me pull up to your shop with my kids in the car with no appointment and you come out and try to fix my van the best you can, even though you have all these other peeps in your garage waiting for you. and yes, jimmy, my van let us down and is still "wicked" broken, and requires upwards of three hundred dollars of work, and a whole day of your time, but you still manage to put a positive spin on everything, and let me buy my own parts with the help of my dad's mafia connections (kidding, sort of). anyway, jimmy, you freakin' rock. everyone should have a mechanic like you.

-did i mention the gelato? the freaking gelato. i can't get enough.

xo
happy thursdays peeps.

self portrait challenge: imperfect mama

i took this picture yesterday. yesterday afternoon to be exact. both of my kids were on napping strikes, and the chaos level at my house was at an all-time high. i found myself losing my patience. wanting to have my "me" time that i value so much- just a couple of minutes to get me recentered in the afternoon. i was losing it, needing a break- losing my cool when the kids were testing me. i took a step back from the situation, leaned up against the nearest wall, and took this picture. imperfect mama. mama needing a break. a nap. some tea or some ice cream, just to get through the afternoon.


and to counteract all this imperfectness goin' round- i offer you this poem by allen ginsberg:

I made love to myself
in the mirror, kissing my own lips,
saying, "I love myself,
I love you more than anybody."

allen ginsberg, new york, december 30, 1951

breathe out

sunflowers and mint for mama al, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

aaaaah. the weekend. the forest and leaves turning and sweaters on and sweaters off. knee high boots and socks and romping through the woods and knit pumpkin hats and signing songs and eating with family and friends and watching movies curled on the couch and peanut butter cups and snuggling, reading books under the covers. breakfast in the sun and lots and lots of tea and hay rides and donuts and drink treats and magazine dates and the kids being crazy with love.

may the week fly by, and bring us yet another weekend. f. a. s. t.

and holy cRAp is this man a genius, or what? go here to be dazzled with sticks.

welcome to the fun house

fun house, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

thank you for the well wishes peeps. i feel one hundred percent better, feeding myself baked chicken parm and scala bread (one of my many food weaknesses- i can eat a whole loaf of seasame seeded scala bread, easily) and pistachio cookies. essential oils and long showers and outfits that make me feel good. the warmth of my friends around me, surrounding me literally (today i'm sporting a shirt of steph's, layered with a shirt of nicole's, topped off with erina's sweater) and figuratively. little vigil's with candles and pictures in the corners of my home to remember the departed this week. trips in the car for coffee and free newspapers. new red shoes for joey, his first big boy pair, as he learns to walk. conversations between women, my women. keeping me afloat. keeping me grounded with perspective. reading "drop city" and loving it- i have about 20 pages left and i never want it to end. moving on to "the pianist" for my new (and oh-so-loved) bookgroup (more womentalk). finding peace in a simple breakfast of eggs and tea, and coloring with my children. helping one of my dears escape on a much needed respite. providing solace. the smell of olive oil and braised ribs downstairs. hay rides and apple ciders this afternoon, cinnamon and sugar sticking to our lips. candles burning next to the computer screen. babies waking in the next room. these are the sounds and smells and events of my days. all part of my wonderful fun house.

sending out wishes for good weekends to you all.

photobooth friday: the stooges edition

happy happy friday. this lovely little digital sticker number features me ramming the heads of the three stooges together. yet another photobooth adventure that i.have.no.memory.of. hum. the only photobooth that i've ever stepped into alone. i do remember that this was taken at the local mall, while john was away in kosovo. i may have been chaperone-ing a field trip of sorts with troubled teens (i can't think of any other reason why i'd be in the food court at the mall inside a digital photobooth.) i'm guessing that i didn't pick the stooges setting, although i do hold a soft spot in my heart for the constant and senseless violence, as i did grow up watching them with my dad. this was me. sad, lonely, newly married with a husband off to war, working with teens that called me the big old cee-u-next-tuesday many times a day. taking photobooth stickers of myself to put on the handwritten letters to my man. sending a piece of myself to him. smashing the heads of the stooges together.


this week has been interesting, draining, horrible and wonderful. it's been filled with mourning, and rememberance, and womentalk. i have a post brewing about the power of womentalk, but right now i'm just too sick to get it together. for some reason i've been throwing up (not pregnant- really). must have picked up some germies along the way- between the library playgroup for joey and the craft group for gracie and gray's school and the ten other playdates we've had this week. so i'm off to the toilet. trying to decide if i need coffee bad enough to warrant it coming back up, burning.

sending love to my girls d&m. love you more than i can say. xo

self portrait challenge: imperfect life

my life is not perfect. despite how it may sound on this sun-shiny blog. i choose to write about the things that make me happy. the things that fulfill me and make me whole. but not every day is perfect and organic and bread-baking-in-the-oven. sometimes i'm sick and cranky and have pms and my kids don't share and one of them refuses to go to school and i lose it...i get zits and the dust bunnies under my bed would frighten you. i look forward to bedtime and sometimes we eat cereal for dinner and my kids don't get baths every day. nobody has the perfect life. we all choose to share what we share. some of you have called me out on my goodness-sharing (and i love you for it). and i really have thought about it, what i write and how i choose to write it. darlene wrote a enlightening post about it recently that got me thinking about apologizing.


what i do know is that the times that i have chosen to write about my muckiness, my real gritty day-to-day frustrations and troubletimes, you all have rallied around me, lifted me up like little life rafts. without those raw and open moments on this blog, i wouldn't have felt that love and support- wouldn't have gotten to know your beautiful souls as well as i have. and for this i am grateful. grateful for imperfections. for an imperfect life.

i think about imperfections. i live through them and work with them and get over them. what else can i do?

for more imperfections, go here.

what the weekend had to offer

*pasta with meat sauce
*organic pizza and the most delicious salad on the face of the planet
*big wood-fired oven and warmth and down vests
*fall festivals and drives and foliage galore
*john and boo splitting a bottle and a half of whiskey, and then crying all night long, telling me how much they love me, and each other (they never drink, let alone together, so this was pretty momentous)
*deep talks, deep thoughts
*incense
*pathouli handsoap driving everyone crazy
*roasted chicken and veggies a-la-gilbert
*watching joey take eight steps
*playing with renee and mike
*lots of candles burnin'
*bird santuaries
*taking myself on a kidless and husbandless date for a pumpkin muffin, coffee, and outdoor antique fair- buying a nepalese painting of shiva for one dollar...and boo's christmas gift, and two relic kitchen utensils for ten cents each
*hippie scarves
*going out to breakfast with the kiddies- watching joey eat pancakes

while full and amazing, this weekend kicked my anus (we throw the word 'anus' around here like it's nothin') and i'm feeling it baaaad right now. my glands are swollen and my throat is k.i.l.l.i.n.g me. add no sleeping (no really...no sleeping) into the mix and i'm about ready for the funny farm. so much so that john took joey on his run with him, and grace and i are having some chill time. i'm supposed to be sleeping. but i'm blogging. drinking herbal tea. gray is watching charlotte's web II. but it's kind of creepy when the bad fox comes on. so i have to keep rushing back to my bed, holding her during the fox parts. and when i just did, and heard the fox say something mean...i said "he's just a butthead. oops! i shouldn't have said that." (trying to be good- she is in school now). and grace then managed to trump me with "yeah, he's pretty much a crackhead".

hope your weekend was filled with crackhead moments that kept you on your toes. xo

photobooth friday: the 'breaking up is hard to do' edition

my parents. sweethearts since the age of 13. divorced when i was 23 (memory is hazy here as far as exact ages goes-) . my mom moved out and moved on the day after john and i got married. but for some reason, even though they've broken up and moved on and taken different paths, i still hardcore heart these photobooth pics (luckily i ended up with them- hence the reason why they still exist at all). they both look young, healthy, happy. and they were, i'm sure, at the time. even though things change, people change- i'm trying to take away the happy moments, the blissfully hippieish moments of my childhood. moments in a photobooth. kisses. miracles. to deny these moments would be to deny my existence completely. thank you, dear parents, for finding each other, for making it work while you did. and for being brave enough to jump ship while you could, making the most of the rest of your lives.

things i love thursday: the movie edition

because i haven't posted clips in a while,
and because someone specifically requested them...here are the babes, at their best

i've tried to capture the "learning to walk" phenomenon, but it gets a little chaotic and tricky, resulting in near-camera-death (see video for example)


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

and one more:


Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos


also, piper...hi! thank you for checking in. i'd write you back personally but i don't have your email address. thank you for your amazing comment- i've been thinking about what you wrote, and your journey, and it has solidified for me that this is something i must do. thank you for sharing, for being brave, for being you.

xo

my five words of the day

in the spirit of my dear blogging buddy pancakemama, i offer you five words (and pictures):

1. nature

the way my children explore in nature is so amazing to me. i've been trying to exercise a certain amount of distance from them while they explore their world- letting them get dirty, and maybe take the occassional harmless mouthful of sand. yesterday, while in the garden, gray moved easily among the plants, naming the herbs and what was left of the veggies, offering little bites of herbs to her brother, which he happily took.

2. art

our house has become a glittered, bedazzled playhouse, our table overflowing with small little scraps of paper. grace has discovered the wonder of scissors- and just can't get enough. i have to find ways to get rid of the days scraps to make room for tomorrow's. it's a scrap wonderland. scraps plus glitter equal happiness.

3. nursing

i spared y'all the full on boobie shots- at 5am, it's just too early for even me to handle them. but my life lately (not much different from not-lately) has consisted of nursing. nursing an almost-walking, bucking-around, little-ish ball of energy that we like to call 'poomalooma'. i'm trying to soak it up, love every minute of it- but our days may be numbered. he's too busy lately to be interested- except, of course, three times when i'm sleeping.

4. coffee

yes, maybe the word 'coffee' shouldn't follow the word 'nursing'- i'm sorry. i can't help it. coffee helps me be the best mom that i can be. and coffee plus fall equals love. and throw dr. scholl's into the equation and you've got full-on bliss.

5. paisley

paisley scarves, to be exact. fall brings out the scarves, and scarves equal paisley. i heart everything about the fall.

self portrait challenge: imperfection (me and my microwave)

this month's theme over at self portrait challenge is 'imperfection'. aah, imperfection.

my first picture features me and the inside of the door of my microwave.

mind you, we are not dirty people. but we are not clean freaks, either. we get much more enjoyment from being outside and frolicking in the woods. but sometimes, things like the inside of our microwave get overlooked and quite- um, utterly disgusting.

i didn't plan on taking this picture until i went to heat up a potato yesterday for lunch. i saw this and the light bulb in my self portrait challenge head went off- DING! imperfection at its best. i took some other pictures of me and the inside of the actual microwave, but they are way too scary and horrid to post here.

luckily, this picture inspired me to take the time to clean out the nastiness. so thank you, self portrait challenge, for keeping me in check.

spinnin' right round

DSC09976, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

today is one of those crazy days. my mind is spinning and my head is pounding. this weekend was full and satisfying, filled with work (yes, work!) and the kids and pizza and a date and family and orchards.

my car broke today but my dad saved the day by fixing the problem with a washer and a piece of masking tape. no, i'm not kidding you. just one of the benefits of living a mile away from mcguyver/dad magician man.

also, i've been pondering my career lately, mainly because i've been hearting work so much lately. i get high off of my massages lately (that sounds kind of dirty, but i mean it in the most purest way, i swear). i loved working six hours this week (gasp! six hours- doesn't sound like much, i know. but for me this is huge). waiting with baited breath for my new business cards, with a lotus flower and all.

shout out to c&j who just purchased their first home!

also thinking seriously about egg donation. seriously as in i'm considering shooting myself with hormones with a NEEDLE and probably will start the 26 (not kidding) page application if my kidlets ever go down for a nap. that is, of course, i get called into work at the last moment. i feel like the massage therapist superhero that has to swoop in at the blink of an eye to soothe aching muscles with this whole on-call thing. anywho, has anyone out there ever donated eggs, and if so, is it scary? i've never had surgery before and from what i'm reading, i'll have to actually go under and it's painful, etc. i'm really motivated to help another mama out though, and i want to be a surrogate but it's not the right time for me right.this.minute. because i want to finish having my own kids first. so this is a bit of a compromise to tide me over. any opinions welcome here...

finally, this picture. this picture kills me. look at pum's little fingers reaching out. grace's little leg stance. these kids give me the worst black circles under my eyes but the best damn life i could have ever hoped for.

obviously i'm all over the place today. still love me, please.