absolutely abominable

(hot packs, blankets, and little cold feet)

today i'm scowly. grumpy. pootish.

all before the glorious hour of 5:30am- i was told that i have the exact same "boobs and nipples" as The Bumble (a.k.a. the Abominable Snow Monster of the North) from the rudolph christmas tv special (we have the ornament, for boob reference) and gray stated "joey, don't you wish we never had her as our mother?" because i said we couldn't do glue and glitter at 5am, but we would have to wait until after school.

i really don't have abominable boobies, right?

at least i'm wearing a hipalicious new outfit (new to me- thank you neighbors who give me your old clothes- literally, all the neighbors come knocking on my door with their castoffs) to help me conquer this beast of a day.

may your boobs be perky and your day be bright. and please pray that yukon and hermie don't come, knock me unconscious, laugh at my rack, and then pull out all my teeth.

busy keepin' the couch warm

it's been a lot, and it's been a little.

we've been battling germs, germs of all kinds, invading each of our bodies in different ways.

we've been ingesting herbs and vitamins, and joey has been on steroids and antibiotics.

we've been shopping and dating and eating and entertaining.

i've been knitting some presents and sewing. john and i went on a date to the fabric store (for him) and to hallmark. that's our idea of a date. we heart ornaments. especially ornaments that come in a series. there's just something incredibly dorky yet amazing about a good hallmark ornament. we dropped a serious wad of cash in the hallmark store, and didn't feel bad about it. despite trying to make the majority of our christmas gifts, there's just no denying that little bit of hallmarkieness that the holiday holds for our family.

with the sickness has come the snuggles. my butt and the couch have made love many a times over the past couple of weeks. i've been peed on and snotted on and teared on. i've held joey while he's screamed bloody murder while having his temperature taken by a stranger, right up his poop shoot. the only great thing about the experience is that now that he's older, i can debrief with his afterwards, and when i say "that was kinda funny when that lady went right up your poop shoot", he laughs hysterically.

there's been movies with friends, endless christmas movies. there's been breakfasts and endless cups of coffee. there's been the welcoming of new friends, and the gatherings to eat. there's been sleepless nights with the croup, and cuddling up to the book momma zen by karen maezen miller (more to come on this) and twilight by stephanie meyer.

life has been about cross stitching with the best of friends, about eating dry pork chops that were lovingly made. it's about seeing the growing belly of a dear friend, and visiting with old friends that were in town for the holiday. life has also been about being a referee, constantly aiding the kids, helping them try not to kill each other. lessons about sharing. lessons about taking space when you need it. learning that it's ok to close the door (more like metaphorical doors because our house wasn't designed with real doors unfortunately) when you need it.

i've been reading through a couple of blogs here and there, trying to catch up and get inspired for the holidays. some people's thanksgiving accounts sound completely magical- the homemade food, everything made from scratch all the way down to the cranberry sauce. we hosted thanksgiving here, and it was special in its own way. but let me tell you- mostly everything came from a bag or a box or from the freezer. or a can. can't forget about the cans. the gravy was jarred, the cranberries jellied. we cut corners where we can, and we do what we're used to. it's a coping mechanism. it allows us to crash on the couch at the end of the day and still be ok. we can sit and eat chocolates from the box and debrief together, with everything cleaned up, the dishwasher whirling in the background. we were fed, it was good enough. it was what we could do.

i am thankful

i am thankful
for lots of things
so today we will fill a basket with
scraps of paper
that list
all the things
that keep us full and healthy

i am thankful
for my kids
the good days and the bad ones
even the days that make me feel like pulling out my hair
and the days that i consider using crack to get through it

i am thankful
for the oven
that is baking homemade brownies
(thanks to inspiration here)

i am thankful
for hot packs
and friends on the couch
and mug after mug of tea
when it's snowing outside

i'm thankful
for incense
for going to bed early
and for defrosting turkeys

mostly
i am thankful
for my little family unit
we keep each other warm when it's cold
and when it's hot we sweat together
and during this time of year
you will find us
huddled in the car together
singing to christmas music
on the radio,
driving around
looking at lights.

i am thankful, dear friend, for you.

let's have a little talk- graceisms at their best

i like to shake my booty in your face, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

(i heart this booty shakin' picture that gray snapped of me- a couple of weeks ago we worked on "favorite things" journals, and i gave her my camera for an hour or so to let her snap pictures of some of her favorite things. so it would only be natural that she would take a picture of my shakin' my booty in her face. duh.)

thank god that i'm lucky enough to be a stay at home mama, because if i wasn't i'd certainly be fired with a capital F thanks to these past couple of weeks. grace is home from school today, again. she said to me this morning "mum, remember how i had a bubble in the back of my throat yesterday? well this morning...it's bricks!" and along with the stink eye, and joey's major congestion, we're home again today. i was able to do $212 worth of damage at the grocery store last night after the kids were in bed, so i've got thanksgiving covered.

nothing's gonna keep me down, yo!

when we were stuck in the house yesterday, there was a lull in the conversation. and gray says to me "so mumma, let's talk about something. i'd like to talk about PERIODS. what exactly are periods? are they when people take off their nipples and then grow new nipples? i'd just really like to have a talk about periods."

now's as good of a time as ever, i guess.

slice of life

things have been a bit more balanced here lately, although grace woke up this morning with another raging case of pink eye. which means two things- 1. i cannot get to the grocery store today for my thanksgiving shopping (we're hosting) and 2. it's yet another day with all of us stuck in the house (and we miss our most favorite play date this morning, again). which means, i guess, that we get to do lots of sewing and knitting and christmas crafting, possibly making a huge batch of cookies and definitely eating our way through yet another loaf of pumpkin bread. balance. the good and the bad.

i hearted my weekend for lots of reasons. i got to get out on friday night sans kiddies to go to the opening of the festival of the trees for the peeps (and their peeps) that put the trees together. our tree looked sweet, and special. the framed pictures of the kids were the added touch, and mostly i was just glad that i worked with two women who picked up all of the slack when we were battling the flu and pink eye a couple of weeks ago. (didn't want to write about it at the time because it was so bad). i loved hanging under all the sparkly lights, and having a chance to actually look at the trees instead of wrangle the kids away from them. it was a chance to hang with my mama friends without the kids, which was also a treat. we actually got to have conversations! imagine.

and saturday was spent dating boo- going shopping and trying on clothes and laughing at my funny-in-girl-clothes body. i guess i'm just not cut out for little dresses cut above the knee! and i'm certainly not cut out for wearing anything in the juniors department! size 12 curvaceous mama bodies unite! these little clothes are completely ridonkulous. so to counter the kill-myselfish feelings from the shopping experience, we went antiquing and i immersed myself in all things old. although antiquing with a almost-two-year-old in the stroller is quite an interesting experience....his mission in life was to kick his feet out as far to the side as possible to try to knock sh*t off the shelves. anywho, i found the sweetest little bright red rocking chair- for $22, half off. which means $11. which means with my $10 gift certificate (thanks sal!) i got a rocking chair for $1 plus tax. joey's new mission in life- pick up and drag around said rocking chair around the house with him, everywhere he goes. then snuggle time, with a dash of craft time and wine time and movie time and chinese food time- mama was happy.

then yesterday rocked. baking and relaxing at home, followed by diner breakfast with the fam, followed by a trip into the big city (aka boston) for movie day with aunties jo&lib at MIT. we watched polar express and gorged ourselves of the best kind of worst kind of snackies. we took our boy to a movie! and yes it was insane. but he was mostly good in a kinda bad kinda way. and then we went for tea and pillow jumping at uncle boo's house- because a couple of weeks ago i was playing "open-ended questions" with grace and asked "if you could go anywhere in the whole wide world where would it be?" and she said "uncle boo boo's house in cambridge." so there you go.

and now we're here, at home, watching the grinch at 7am. i have 10 cups of coffee waiting for me, and a butt-load of craft supplies. wish me luck!

xx


in other news, i'd like to wish a belated happy birthday to my girl femiknit. and a happy happy india rockin' trip to my girl leonie.

relax your horses

"you just need to relax your horses, mumma." this sage advice came from gray this morning...early, early this morning. it made me smile, and was one of those little quips that puts the whole picture in perspective. relax your horses. i tried explaining the saying, and telling her about "hold your horses" but she just looked at me and said "i like my way better". fair enough.

since my return, i've had a huge lesson in relaxing my horses. i still haven't unpacked, and haven't had a second to process anything yet. with a house full of visitors in and out, and trying desperately to build up my immune system (which included getting my voice back, with the help of lots of herbal remedies...thanks pix for the advice!), and joey's transition into a big boy bed, we've got our plate full. not to mention us hosting thanksgiving in a week from today! one of my favorite holidays by far (hey mama al! i'm with you on this one).

leaving for the weekend was a much-needed gift. driving away, through the beautiful foliage and snow covered (!) mountains, i felt all the frustrations and anxiety over the past couple of weeks melt away. i wasn't nervous about meeting my new peeps. i felt like i could just be myself and that would be ok enough. even though i was rockin' the black circles, and my voice was a mere croak for most of the weekend, i still was able to just sit and be in the company of some amazing women. amazing...cliche, yes...but amazing. pixie's brain is filled with sage-a-licious knowledge...about everything from herbs to massage to psychoanalysis. and keri was so real and un-intimidating, and i just immediately felt at ease. and she listened. and cared. and wendertins is my soul mama sister living too far away. if we were neighbors we'd be having some serious conversations over tea and coffee and coke on a daily basis, let me assure you. my favorite moments were the sleepy ones in the morning, with our collective hair all askew, and the quiet conversations. and the knitting and the babes running all around. and satch's bright chatter and miles' snuggling that soothed my mama-away-from-her-babes soul. it was a quiet weekend- filled with falling red leaves and deer in the morning. it was a noisy weekend- filled with laughter and boys and a little bit of booty shakin'. it was a gift. my new friends are a gift:


you can read pix's account here.

and keri's account here.

and wendertin's accounts here and especially here.

you can see my pictures from the blessingway weekend here.

so please excuse me while i catch up with my kids. while i do a little quiet knitting. while i practice relaxing my horses. xx

where did she come from?

grace's new thing is busting out with spontaneous prayers. which is funny because we don't really pray. but it's her thing, and i'm so cool with that. here's what she came up with this morning:

"dear god,

thank you for all the great food you give us, and for mumma's boobies.

thanks also for all the stores, and for earlobies."


girl's got her priorities, i guess.

joey speaks part II

since i'm still speechless from my weekend, i figured now is as good of a time as any to post more of joey's words. as much as i don't like the idea of posting my voice here, i like the quiet way that joey repeated after me while playing with his toys. his sweetness is overwhelming. and you get a chance to see what kinds of words we value...you know- poop, toot, and bob barker (don't know what's up with that- he kinda skeeves me out).

i'm home

i'm back from woodstock
filled to the brim with goodness
approaching life with a fresh perspective

i have a serious case of laryngitis (hey c! wanna not talk?)
but have been taken care of
and croaked along with
the best bunch of women
all weekend long

i am going to kick this week's ass.

xx

where i'm at

"i believe that these circles of women around us weave invisible nets of love that carry us when we're weak and sing with us when we're strong." - sark, succulent wild woman

finally, the boy speaks

(if for some reason you can't view the video here, click here to see it)

joey. joey joey joey. he was a little slow to talk (although he's not even two yet so i should really back off, huh?) but now that he's figured it out, he can pretty much repeat any word that you want him to say. and he strings together little sweet sentences like "night night mama, i love you" which sounds something like that but a bit garbled. i love every second of it, and appreciate it even more because we waited a little longer for it (gray was born talking. freak!).

anywho, joey's got a bit of a crush on our cousin/author/amazing mama friend tabatha. he talks about her nonstop, and often can be found chatting on his play telephone with his "tabby". he loves to say "TABATHA...READ IT!" because tabatha is a children's author and often does readings for the kiddos. it's pretty much the sweetest thing ever. but you get a little whiff of some joey attitude when gray tries to coach him...

it's fun to mention that tabatha has her own sweet son named joey... i remember years back being at a christmas family reunion at my nanu's house and playing with tab's joey (or jo-jo) in the backyard and pretty much making the decision then and there that if i had a son his name would be joey and we'd call him jo-jo. that's how sweet tab's jo-jo is. and now i've got my own sweet guy who's obsessed with jo-jo's mama! what goes around comes around :)

life kinda sucks, so i'll buy myself a treat

this week has been so challenging on so many levels. like one of those weeks where it's really hard to get out of bed in the morning. where i find myself squeezing my eyes shut and thinking "i really can't do this for another minute". it's been a lesson in asking for help when i need it, a lesson in life presenting you with challenges because it trusts that deep down inside you can handle them. it's been a lesson in putting everything into perspective. a lesson that some days you just won't be able to make it to the grocery store. and that some days your family is just going to have to suck it up and eat cereal for dinner.

with the rain outside today, and my upcoming trip on the horizon, i feel stronger and better able to get through today. today i am laundry-mama- i am the ointment-applier- i am the shoulder to cry on and the crier-on-shoulders. today i just may ask you to come over and watch the kids so i can get out to the grocery store, and maybe buy myself a little treat.

xx

words of advice from the universe

take the time to find and see the beauty in nature

climb some trees even if it means a possible trip to the ER

play the music in your heart

have a good cry if you're in need of one

leaf-blowers and halloween costumes plus kids cracked up on candy equals fun

let's pray that this week rocks the casbah!

early branding

(nature collecting last week in the forest)


at the end of a long day yesterday, the kids and i sat on the couch, drying off from a bath, and reading some stories before bed. during our reading of "three billy goats gruff" (which i think is a pretty messed up tale but the kids luuuurve it) gray decides to turn the conversation to poop. why not, right? with the most serious of gray-looks, the girl turns to me and says-

"you know, i've seen a goat poop before. little m&m's fall out of their bums."

and i look at her with an eyebrow raised and she says-

"seriously! i'm serious! they have little m's on them and everything!"

gotta love early branding.

circle time

for years now, gray has been part of and a big fan of circle time in some form or another. at the end of her school day she'll report back to me about who behaved and who didn't, what they shared, what they read and who said what. i love debriefing about circle time and i heart what my girl takes away from being surrounded by her peers and sharing.

i've been thinking a lot about adult circle time lately, which just sounds dirty but let's pretend it doesn't. at some point in many of our lives it becomes weird, uncomfortable, and/or socially unacceptable to sit in a circle and share things. i vote that we reinstate circle time for adults, especially women, but more importantly...mamas. mamas need some serious circle time.

and this week, amidst the craziness that is my life of crafting and shopping and cooking and wiping butts and creating a christmas tree for the local festival of trees, i've been lucky enough to be circled by some incredible women. when i feel tired and i'm rocking the hugest black circles under my eyes, i can go to my friend's house and we can drink red wine and scrapbook and watch oprah (we heart kris carr) and then charlie brown's halloween special on tv. and when i need a middle of the day pick-me-up, another friend will join me for an organic lunch, where we will proceed to split (yes split) a whole stick of french bread (i ate most of it). and then there are the two beautiful women who i'm creating the tree with...us three mamas and our eight kids running wild, half-naked, creating magic around us. and in a week i'll be leaving for woodstock, NY for another type of magical circle- a blessingway.

it's an incredible life, filled with endless possibilities for circling, circle upon circle of love.