weekend love

this chilly quiet weekend
holds so much promise
so many cups of steaming tea
snuggles on the couch
books waiting to be read out loud
tournaments cancelled
trips to be made
the start to something amazing

signs from the rainbow

this morning, when i went into the city for my final ultrasound before the embryo transfer, it was beautiful and sunny.  the ultrasound itself was nothing but fantastic news---everything is set to proceed as planned!  when i came out, it was raining, and a full rainbow was stretching across the city, from one end to the other.  it was unreal...surreal...and utterly perfect.  i'm taking it as a sign for good things to come.

(i wish i had a picture but i was hydroplaning all over the road and didn't want to risk it!  i will never forget it, though.  did anyone else out there see it?)

rules for this week

*a special lunch with my girl on the deck in the sun*

1.  trust in the process
2.  don't worry so much about your belly fat
3.  go outside as much as possible
4.  take a nap if you want to
5.  make little things special

guidebook for the weekend

1.  get outside
2.  don't be a jerk
3.  love the people around you
4.  eat what makes you feel good
5.  really listen when people talk to you

the end.

ps, if there's time, maybe eat a s'more, or two.  xoxo

rabbit hole of life

i disappeared again, down the rabbit hole of kids and parties and the hustle and bustle of everyday life.  when i run into friends and they ask what i've been up to, i find myself saying "nothing much".  because really, how can i fit it all in, every snuggle, every candle blown out on the cake, every day we laid out in the sun on the grass?  there's nothing, and so much, rolled into one.

the weeks are flying by.  the kids are getting old.  there are stellar report cards, the littlest one learned to ride her bike without training wheels, there is a lot of talk of boyfriends.  there have been trips into the city for doctor's appointments, lots of time spent sending good energy to my lady parts, hoping for the best.  softball has started.  school vacation.  real talk with girlfriends.  watching the kids on the beach and thinking i might cry because it was so beautiful.  tears and hugging.  tragedy close to home in boston , a week of fear and terror.  picking up the kids early from school just because i wanted them to be home with me.  a gathering around a table for dinner with the four people that i love most in this world, laughing.

there have been packages, filled with honey from the desert and necklaces and love.  unexpected beauty in my mailbox---colorful wraps for my head.  scrubs for my body.  friends dropping off bags of clothes for me.  love from my friends far and wide.  i am lucky to have the best family and friends supporting me.  i truly am riding on the high of having a supportive tribe lifting us up every day.

it's not always 'shiny happy people holding hands'.  sometimes the kids hit each other with brooms, and the dog poops on the carpet, there are blood engorged ticks everywhere.  i gained five pounds and don't fit into my jeans.  but at the end of the day, everyone here is safe in their beds, and there's nothing shinier than that.