what's your one thing?

i have a new philosophy that i've been testing out these past couple of weeks, and so far, it's really been working for me. it's pretty much the simplest thing ever, and not original, but follow along if you please.

basically, every day, at the start of the day, you pick one thing.

one thing that you really would like to accomplish. throw out the long 'to do' list and set your expectations low and i promise you will succeed! sounds backwards, but at least you accomplish one rockin' thing, right?

the great thing about your one thing, it can be little, something that you tend to procrastinate. or it can be this huge random overwhelming project that you've been putting off for months. i've been trying to alternate my one things lately. one day i'll pick something so small and ridonkulous that i find myself getting up off my arse and just accomplishing it. example- cut fingernails. duh! i can do that! and all of a sudden, when i do, i feel all accomplished. fingernails cut, check.

and then other days i'll pick something more time consuming and daunting. like "make three stuffed animals for friends." or "do sunprints with the kids". or "buy a shredder and home office organizing kit and get my life in order". you know, something big. and then i just do it. because all those days that i picked something small to accomplish...they act as my little cheerleaders and then all of a sudden i feel like i can conquer the world.

fingernails today, presidency tomorrow. you get the point.

what's your one thing today?

therapy and the universe

every day, i get a little nugget of wisdom delivered to my email inbox thanks to this beautiful site. it's like a virtual fortune cookie that i open every morning. this morning's packed a punch:

Sure, Nina Beana, you can always find prettier, handsomer, skinnier, wiser, richer, younger, or zippier. But more often than not, one might learn the most, laugh the loudest, and smile the widest with those they've already found, especially when they stop looking elsewhere.

Tallyho,
The Universe



kazam!, right?

yesterday i did some ten dollar therapy and bought a big ole box of my favorite incense and a new bumper sticker for the car. and i used a gift certificate and bought a butt load of valentines for the kids and some blank cards for myself. then i lit those candles and played all the songs and did all the right things. but you know what? yesterday still sucked. last night was pretty amazing, however, sitting around the table laughing with friends. so i'll count my blessings.

but today? today's not going to suck. today is going to rock.

today is one of my favorite days of the year- the local library booksale! it's the day that i save up my extra bills and extra shovey-elbows for! i have a date with boo at some point, where we'll spend hours searching for vampire books and vintage children's books and flower identification books.

therapy, i'm telling you.

naked

"the naked man never mislays his wallet" -japanese proverb

i'm thinking about this quote this morning. i'm not quite sure why. it's the quote from my senior year yearbook, tucked underneath my picture. which wasn't revolutionary but somewhat unconventional for my catholic all-girls high school, with me graduating with fifty something other girls. i've always loved this quote, not just because it has the word naked in it.

lately i feel the need to strip down, to clean up and organize, to make right many things that i've let slip by me for the past couple of months. like i always do at this time of year, i feel pent up, drowning in my own stuff, held back by my lists of to-do's and must sees. i need to refocus and spend more quality time actually doing the things i think about doing instead of sitting around feeling suffocated by them.

can i get a "what what!?!'

when i'm feeling like this everyone around me has the uncanny ability to make it look like they've got it all together. how is this possible? does anyone else feel like poop?

i loved kris carr's latest blog post about reprioritizing. three of her priorities that really resonate with me are:

"Replace online activities with real world actions. Call your pal rather than emailing him or her. Go out rather than getting sucked in."

if only i could eat these words, serve them up in some form that would really stick. i need a recharge. i've felt like shit since before my trip, with headaches every day, sinus crap, and stomach issues. every day i feel run down and don't feel like myself. so today's the day i'm turning it around. i'm going to start by drinking water. because for some crazy reason i've pretty much eliminated it from my diet (i usually have a glass around 4pm) so i'm going to work on that. and i may just go and get some pretty craft supplies and make a little something. and then light some candles and incense and do something fun with the kids. and maybe get some valentines. and then tonight i'm going to make a big fat meal and hang with my friends and catch up in real life. i'm going to stay up past 8pm and i'm not going to read about vampires for a change. i'm going to open up and try to feel like me again.

what what!?!

full size

this morning, at 5am, i was thinkin'. joey burst into the room in full salsa mode (and for anyone who doesn't know what this means, salsa is joey's cat alter-ego), screaming things like "PIRATE!" and "PINECONES!". then gray comes in and starts in with "joey, are you covered in pee? you're a pee head" and hops into bed too. here's what i was thinking- we have a FULL size bed. for four people...at the unsightly hour of 5am. it's mandatory cuddling. it's elbows and knees in the eyes. it's ridonkulous.

maybe someday if we live in a wee bigger house we can graduate to a queen. or maybe even a king (gasp!). but as we contemplate the possible addition of another babe to the family, how can five of us possibly fit in a full? how full is too full?

these are the things i think about at 5am.

behind the bathroom door

heard from behind the bathroom door, minutes ago, while gray was taking a poo on the loo:

"maaaaaaaaaaaaaama? why is there fairy dust on my panties?"

the things she comes up with. off to wipe some fanny. peace.

setting things straight

"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." -Robert M. Pirsig

been lost in thought this week, emerging from our time away. it's been a week of contemplation, a week of digging out. a week of damage control and a week of challenges. a week of deep thoughts, of heavy boots, and of inspiration.

i'll be back soon, but for now, i'm off to nina beana land to set things straight.

also, this book has changed my life forever: what is the what by dave eggers. i can blame the majority of my absence this past week on this book. go out and get it and plan to be changed.

home again

we're home, and we're safe. thank you to everyone for your kind words of wisdom, and thanks to those who kept the kids occupied and loved while we were gone. we had an amazing time...perfect, really. but we're glad to be home, getting life back in order.

you can see our pictures here, if you'd like.


and welcome to the world dear sweet c.m.m. xx

i'm finally a woman

this morning, while discussing suitcases and packing, john was all "can't we just share a suitcase? we're only going to be gone for like two days" and i was all "no way, i'm not sharing. this is my one thing. i'm not splitting a suitcase! i'm not splitting anything! i'm filling up my whole suitcase with stuff that i'm not going to wear. a whole bunch of dresses and stuff".

a bit later, while he was in the shower, i hear john say "i'm just wondering when you became...like...a woman."


it was pretty much the quote of the year. i love it.

perspective

john butler trio- better than

All you want is
What you can't have
And if ya' just look around, man
You'll see you got magic

So just sit back and relax
Enjoy it while you still have it
Don't look back on life, man
And only see tragedy 'cause

chorus
You can be better than that
Let it get the better of you
What could be better than that?
Life's not about what's better than

You can be better than that
Let it get the better of you
What could be better than that?
Life's not about what's better

All the time while ya' lookin' away
There are things you can do, man
There's things you can say
Undo the, the ones you regret
When you're spending today
Get your gaze out tomorrow
And come what may, because

chorus

Oh, I know, sometimes
Things can get hard
But you should know, by now
They come and they go so fast
Oh, I do, why
Look to the other side 'cause I know
The grass is greener,
But just as hard to grow

So all you want is
What you can't have
And if ya' just look around, man
You'll see you got magic

So just sit back and relax
Enjoy it while you still have it
Don't look back on life, man
And only see tragedy 'cause

chorus


i'll be honest with you. i woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. i was not happy when the lights flipped on in my room at 5am. i was grouchy. my eyes were crusty. i wanted about three or four more hours of sleep. and ahead of me, all i saw was a day of being stuck in the house for the second day in a row without a car. and with two kids who will love each other one minute and then be at each other's throats another.

"i can't do this another day" i said to john.

"you can do it. you can" he says.

and then we turn the day around by dropping off our car at our rockstar mechanic and then go out for donuts and coffee. because donuts with sprinkles make everything better.

and you know what? it worked. i thought about perspective, and how lucky i am to have a house and healthy kids and incense to burn and a laptop and all these things to keep me comfortable and safe. my life isn't hard, i just had a crappy morning. in two days i'll be sunning my soul-sister-of-jennifer-love-hewitt's-butt on the beach. perspective.

which reminds me...the other day, gray says to me before school "hey mom, do you think those high school students will be lined up in the hallway today?" and i said "you mean the kindergarteners?" and she was all "yeah, same difference- high school, kindergarten".

perspective.

care to join me?

2007 was pretty freakin' rad. lots of cool stuff went down...so much so, in fact, that i cannot possibly list it all here. it was another year of staying home with the kids, watching them grow and learn about the world around them. there was a lot of time spent outside, lots of time in the garden. lots of delicious meals consumed. i was blessed with the opportunity to be present for the birth of three children. i have grown in my friendships, and grown in my relationship with my husband. i spent time with boo in NYC. we hung with our friends at lake george. i took a trip to hang with some soul sisters in woodstock, NY. we had lots of birthday celebrations. we crafted a lot and made lots of homemade gifts. we got a year older. my bum got a little bigger. joey can now speak in broken sentences. gray got smart as a whip, can almost read, broke her collarbone and got her gray tooth. our life is unpredictable, messy, carefree, full of love and bustle.

2008 promises to rock out, too. we're off at the end of the week for our second honeymoon (i'm calling it this...but really it's a "free work trip"). we may add another member to our little rockin' family. we will travel, and we may get a doggie dog with three legs. the world is open to us, if only we let go. it seems that the blogisphere is buzzing with words and phrases that people are holding on to for the new year. and my own is let go.

it never fails. if i'm feeling stressed and getting caught up in the details, i take a breath and remind myself to let go. things will fall into place perfectly. perfectly imperfect. they will happen, and they will be just as they were meant to be. and in the process, i'm better able to enjoy the experience.

so hello, 2008. i'm letting go of my expectations for you so you are fully able to do a funky booty dance in our faces.

help, i need somebody

i'm trying to be all breathe-in-breathe-out about our trip next week, but i'm nurrrrvess. i'm wondering if anyone out there in my lovely cyberspaceland can offer me any advice about leaving the kids for four days- mainly i'd like to know if anyone has a link to any good medical release forms- like the kind that say "if grace or joey need medical care person XYZ can take them to get it". i feel like there's so many things that i'm overlooking that i need to do. please peeps...help me dot my I's and cross my T's! thanks. meow.

new year, new undies

(reason #503 why i should never be allowed to homeschool my kids)


anyway, it's a new year, which evidently in nina beana land means new undies! why new undies, you ask? well, for starters, i don't think i've bought new underwear since i lived in watertown, ny what....um, about five years ago? i'm not joking. but that's cool, because i kinda like the undies i have...however worn they are. they are comfy! they fit my fanny! they are mine!

i did try to buy some underwear earlier in the year. i went to a crappy superstore and bought this megapack of undies in a size that i thought was my size. i got them home only to find out that they looked like mini thong panties and they weren't supposed to be. they didn't even cover my crack. so i hauled my underwearless butt back to the store and bought another megapack in another brand (bad move) in the same size that i wear in jeans...and i brought them home and literally unrolled the damn things and could've used them as tablecloths. i've never seen john laugh so hard in my life. they were so big, that once unrolled, they could not fit back into the package to be returned, no way, no how.

so i forgot about the underwear.

except on new years eve, when i bent over (in front of my mother in law, mind you), and my boo says to me "when the hell did you start wearing thongs?" and i'm all "i would NEVER wear thongs, are you kidding me?" and he's all "well you ARE wearing a thong" and then i reached back and felt that the elastic waistband of my favorite victoria's secret granny panny specials from 2000 had completely detached in about 100 places from the actual underwear. creating the weird not-sexy illusion of a thong.

needless to say my mother in law was not impressed.

so tonight, joey and i had a date night. i bribed him with french fries and a ride on the carousel and he let me (read: screamed "panties!" and "i want horsies!" and then had the worst poop shoot riot ever, smearing poop all over his clothes and his carriage) buy some new undies at victoria's slutty closet. twenty bucks says that none of the five pairs i got will fit.

but i tried! and i AM going on vacation next week, right? and it's a new year.

new year, new undies. my one and only resolution.