love in unlikely places

lately, love has been showing up in the most unlikely of places::

in the muddy ground- a heart-shaped print of a deer

a new tooth
a cozy for my coffee
a rain-flattened leaf on my sunroof in the van

a heart-shaped carrot in my stew


it's really all around us. really. xx

bubbies

my sweet baby and my boobies have parted ways this week. it has been painful (excruciating, really, but surprisingly not as bad as baby #1 and baby #2 weaning) but also very rewarding. it pains me to admit this, but our lives have taken a turn for the better since the milkies have stopped flowing. lulu now sleeps every night from 6pm-6am. this is huge coming from a baby who LAST WEEK was up FOUR OR FIVE FREAKING TIMES TO NURSE. i'm trying not to beat myself up to badly about stopping nursing when she's only shy of nine months. i nursed gray and joey for 14 months (random, i know) and eight months seems so young. plus, i like burning all those extra calories! but why continue on the path if it's making everyone miserable, right? lulu (who is usually the happiest baby in the world) is now even happier, if that's possible. i'm getting a full night sleep, which is weirdly awesome. we've switched bedrooms (which was a transition) and i'm pretty sure our lives will be much easier from here on in. and the boob situation is getting better (after a full week of not nursing), and now i can actually go out into public without looking completely obscene (don't ask me about having to work on monday- day two of weaning. massage and engorgement do NOT mix, let me tell you).

so this is why i've been quiet this week. and crazy. really crazy actually- my hormones must be out of whack. but i'm looking forward to the weekend...and looking forward to my thoughts being able to focus on something else BESIDES BOOBS AND MILK. even this mushroom picture reminds me of "bubbies", but that doesn't surprise you, does it?

sale!

a wee sale in the shop today, just because. jump for joy! xx

who's your person?

when you are feeling
lost
overwhelmed
alone
totally bummed out-
there is someone out there
waiting.

maybe you feel
like nobody listens
when you talk
that you are alone
on your journey
that people around you
may take and take and take
and never take a minute
to check in with you
give back
take care of you

but i promise you

i really really promise you

that there is someone out there
that feels
exactly the same way
that you're feeling
and all you need to do
is find that person
sit down with them
take a deep breath
stay in each others' company
maybe have a sip or two of coffee
listen to the words you each
have to offer
commiserate
crack open for a while
it may feel icky at first
but before you know it
you will feel all those craptastic feelings
you were feeling minutes before
melt away
(they'll feel better too)

you will be left feeling lighter
more secure
lifted up
tender
but confident
that you can
do it all again
for another day.
suddenly
you will find yourself
focusing on everything good
around you
when moments before
all you could see
was bad.
this will feel freeing
and you will
conquer the world
thanks to this new freedom.

go ahead.
go now.
go find your person.

xx

these faces

waking up at 4am and seeing this little face makes it a little bit more manageable

and these faces following shortly after just sweeten the deal.

xx

fall

the fall in new england is my medicine. throw what you will at me, universe, and i'm still gonna come out on top...thanks to sweet, sweet fall.

xx

(picture by johnny- notice the jeans. four people in one day said to me "i think it's time for new jeans". best part is that two of these people were my favorite three year old boys, which just made it so freakin' awesome.)

sustaining

(joey's portrait of mama)

there are lots of simple things
that make me happy::
a good cup of coffee
even a bad cup of coffee
eating with friends
being snuggled by babes
laughing on the couch
putting ponytails
in my daughter's hair
the tops of cupcakes
the silence when the kids go to bed
reading in bed
the sound of my neighbor's fountain
pumpkin-scented candles
a walk in the woods
an apple cider donut
with a pumpkin whoopie pie on the side
watching my friends' bellies grow
watching my friends' babies grow
carving out time to create things
the sound of the wind while i sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep.

what is sustaining you today?