things to distract you: photobooth friday revisited

despite the lack of photobooth posts (and posts in general), there have been photobooths. like this little gem from last weekend: i'm holding a sign that grace made that says "mom". not quite sure if you can see it when it's scanned. i love gray's face in the third square down. i could just eat her.
then there was this strip that john and joey got me for christmas. i love joey's face in the bottom square. in a lot of ways his face pretty much sums joey up- whiny, needy, complainathon-2000. i can just hear him crying to get out of the booth- something between a whine and a cough. we call him whine-bag. we only say it because we love him.
then this solo booth of joey from right before christmas. whenever i feel sad i go over to this strip that is hanging in my kitchen and i focus in on the face that he's making in the third square down. when i look at it nothing else matters. i get these feelings like "i made this kid", and "he's his own little person" and "i could die happy right now".

this is the magic of photobooth strips.

a new earth

"although body-identification is one of the most basic forms of ego, the good news is that it is also the one that you can most easily go beyond. this is done not by trying to convince yourself that you are not your body, but by shifting your attention from the external form of your body and from thoughts about your body- beautiful, ugly, strong, weak, too fat, too thin- to the feeling of aliveness inside it." - eckhart tolle, from a new earth: awakening to your life purpose

um, word.

punches to the soul

the universe has been packing some major punches lately. and coupled with the book "a new earth" by eckhart tolle, i've been doing some much needed soul searching lately. here's my newest message from the universe:

Ever notice, Nina Beana, that in the long run, those who don't eventually go "within," often go "without."

You got the power,
The Universe

damn! that's a serious message. one that's true but not easy.


so i'm off to do some dirty work!

venturing out

this week is school vacation. my goal is to get out every day and do something. i can't believe it's already thursday. this getting out and doing stuff thing really makes the week fly by.

so thursday. hello thursday.

thank god for friends (thank you mama for the dreamiest of days yesterday!). thank god for family. thank god for brothers who bring over drinkies after the kids go to sleep.


off for more adventures.

a sitar kind of day

i wish i could say that it's been a quiet day here. a quiet, peaceful day of baking homemade fresh bread and burning incense and peace love togetherness. instead, i can report that it's been a very loud and boisterous day, filled with baking homemade fresh bread thanks to soulemama's recipe, lots of new music (beastie boys and ravi shankar, with a good dose of bob marley and the beatles thrown in), musings about a fake person that we invented named "lebanon rappaport", thinking about breaking into the local hummus factory for an impromptu tour. the kids have been alternating between eating off my earlobes, trying to crawl up my fanny, and playing "ronkey donks" (which is basically a kid version of sexytime with clothes on).

if i could describe the sounds in my brain they would definitely sound like the manic crazy sitar sounds that ravi shankar busts out with.


today is a sitar kind of sunday.

happy stinkin' valentine's day!

this will be me at the end of the day today. we've got two valentine's parties (not to mention the one that we went to yesterday) and then we're going to the indoor playground, one of my most stress-inducing places ever. i'm trying to channel my inner "peace love togetherness vibe" (thanks, c. for the talk last night, and for calling me a happy hippie even when i don't feel like one), even when the kids will inevitably hurt themselves or hurt others, break some bones, and crash after some major sugar highs!


did i mention that i quit coffee almost a week ago? i'm asking myself why right about now.


happy stinkin' valentine's day!

dear heartburn

hello, heartburn. it's nice to see you again. psyche! it's been a while since you've plauged me- let me see...the last time you stuck around john was in kosovo for 10 months, and i moved away from my home in NY and moved back to my childhood home. i holed up in my bedroom, waiting for news, waiting for anything. it was post 9-11, and everything seemed scary and horrible. i was taking paxil, and sometimes xanax, just to get through the day. because the days were long, and terrifying. i had a shit job that was good work but wrecking my life. working with troubled adolescents that tell you on a daily basis that your hair sucks, your face sucks, you suck- not the best job choice for someone so sad.

so back then, heartburn moved in and didn't leave for a while. but everything got much much better when my new husband came back, we moved back to NY, and we had our life back. life was still uncertain and scary at times, but i didn't have the heartburn anymore.

but now it's back.

but here's the tricky part- life is kind of amazing. so what gives, heartburn? why are you back to eff with me and my digestion? could it be the two bottles of balsamic vinegar that i've consumed in the past couple of weeks? could it be the coffee, the tylenol? could it be hormonal, could it be the banging and dancing in the car? why oh why are you back?

i promise i won't drink balsamic vinegar anymore (even though it's so delicious). i've stopped drinking coffee for you, heartburn, and that says a lot. i couldn't even completely quit when i was pregnant. but i've said a sad goodbye to coffee, and now i've quit it completely for you. what else do you want, heartburn? i'm eating lots of fruits and veggies. what am i doing wrong? even a sip of water sends you into a tailspin, making me gasp for air.

what gives?

please let me know if there's anything else i can sulkily give up for you. because heartburn, you know how much this girls loves herself some food. so don't keep wrecking it for me, ok?

thanks a freakin' bunch,

nina beana

for the record

the kids are playing quietly right now! what what?!? can it be true? until the polly pocket wars begin, here i am.

also, joey woke up at 6:30am this morning, which hasn't happened in weeks. which means that i am less zombielike than usual. which hopefully means that today is a good day.

this weekend was busy and involved actually leaving the house a multitude of times, which was much different from the rest of the week, where we played inside almost exclusively. we had two trips into the "big city" (what gray calls boston). i had a pad thai and we went to our favorite diner. we took some drives. watched boo jump into the atlantic ocean in drag. you know, the usual.

i'd just like to state for the record that fake eyelashes scare the crap out of me. especially when someone wearing the fake eyelashes is getting them trimmed while they are wearing them. (there were no injuries, although there was the chance of a nostril being sliced through).

i love the fallen lashes on the lipsticked lips.

happy birthday to you jen!

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happiest of days to our dear friend jen out in NY! i roused the kids this morning and they did this video for you- you can see gray's attitude because i shut "her show" off to film- joey is happy as a clam as usual. featured in the clip is the "puke bucket", which can also explain gray's crankiness. she's been throwing up for the past two days! so excuse the grouchiness...but HAPPY BIRTHDAY! we love you!

someone's problems are bigger than yours

wiener poopie. i love it. my day feels better already.

on tap for the day

stuck in the muck today, home with two sick kids. there's puking, and crying, and aching. the day started at 4am. i've already ingested 10 cups of coffee. healthy choice? not so much. but it's a mama's survival mechanism, and one's that foolproof for me.

today there are movies to be watched. there is this great book to be read. and alice in wonderland to be read to the kids, and maybe a little knitting nell. classes to be applied for, and card/postcard orders to be worked on. there's sewing to be done and chicken soup to be eaten. there's beautiful bouquets of flowers to be adored and admired, and snow outside to help us realize how warm and snuggly we are inside. there's a floor strewn with matchbox cars, and blankets and the smell of throw up all around. it's one of those days. the good and the bad, all balancing out in the end.

is it 6pm yet?

vagina power

some women choose to pursue, and have the ability to push real live human beings out of their vaginas. it sounds quite raw and raunchy and just not-right seeing it written that way, but seriously…right out of their vaginas. whole heads and arms and legs and chunks of blood and placentas and other bits and pieces come out, just like it was any other day, just like it was the most normal thing ever. human beings. people. they just come on out and meet and greet the world.

as a doula i’ve had the amazing opportunity to bear witness to some of these little humans beings making their debut. some choose to come out through avenues other than the vagina. and it’s just as amazing seeing a woman opened up, and her human love child coming through her abdomen. hello world, it’s me, and i’m here to stay.

what i’m trying to say, really, is that i’m pretty much in awe of women, women’s bodies, babies being born, the strength of the human spirit, pelvic bones, the light in a mom’s eyes when they first hold their baby that they’ve worked so hard for. today i’m honoring all these moms, and all the moms-to-be, and all of us who are a product of some seriously hard and amazing birth work from our own moms.

humans are so cool.

blurs from the universe

(found this picture on my camera- don't know where i was, when i took it, what i was aiming for, but somehow it's perfect for these past couple of weeks- shiny, bright, a blur.)

the universe had a rockin' message for me today:

Yes, Nina Beana, it's time for "good news and bad news"...

You, Nina Beana Gilbert, have just been named the luckiest person alive! The absolute luckiest! No one luckier for trillions of miles!

Can you imagine? Having an advantage in all of your adventures? Good fortune smiling upon you? Joy, passion, and dreams coming true? Folks secretly admiring you from lowered sunglasses? New friends seeking you out? Massive abundance effortlessly drawn into your life? Opportunity and adventure only ever a breath away?

Wow! I'd say things are really, really going to start changing for you!!!

The "bad" news?

You only ever had to visualize.

To the bazaar -
The Universe

i have felt like the luckiest person lately. 2008 has rocked so far. i feel more deeply connected in my friendships, many that have taken a backseat during these last couple of crazy years. when i listen to people i feel like it's becoming easier to really listen instead of just hearing. i feel like things are starting to align. i feel all these things despite the severe sleep deprivation. imagine.

i was going to write a post about mamas and the power of birth and women's bodies, but right now i'm just going to say...

hi, i'm here. i'm going to celebrate tonight with a drink or two, and some leftovers. i'm putting the kids to bed, and then i'm taking the night off. a night to watch TMZ guiltlessly, sipping on a cocktail, eating ice cream soup.

i'll be back in the morn, freshly rested.