good things part 3

*when gray is in a really really bad mood and threatening to ruin our family time date and beautiful walk in the sunshine, i stop, take a deep breath, and look around for a sign. i see a tree with a nice butthole just waiting to be poked. i say to her "if you put your finger in that tree's butthole i guarantee that your bad mood will disappear."

and it does.

good things part 2

*have i mentioned how much baby loves brussel sprouts? so much so, i fact, that last night, after cooking a whole bunch (four dollars worth, which is quite a bunch) of brussels, i went to sprinkle some salt and pepper on top before eating. unfortunately the pepper top was open (the part that you're supposed to be able to dunk your spoon into) and literally about five tablespoons of pepper dumped on top of my snack. did that stop me from eating them? no. pregnancy at it's best.

*joey watching the movie 'sinbad' right now (totally inappropriate but most of it is going over his head thankfully)...but he keeps screaming "MAN NIPPLES!" every time a half naked dude comes on the screen

*every morning when joey comes into my bed (at 5am) he snuggles in to me in the dark and whispers "i dreamed about the baby" and then pulls up my shirt and kisses my stomach

*refusing to wear maternity clothes this time around

*MAN NIPPLES!

*reading a whole chapter book last night about butterflies that talk and have attitude problems

*the kids going to bed at 5:30pm

*taco night

*library story time

*gray's thankful notes to her teachers

*johnny's cold feet in bed and him hogging all the blankets (i secretly like it)

*double boilers

*muffins

*movie date night coming up tomorrow night

xx

the good things

*gray being healthy and happy again after a couple of bad days last week with strep throat, a strep body rash, and a double ear infection

*a date with johnny this weekend for hot drink treats (chai and triple shot lattes) and then sushi

*christmas parades and seeing the kids on the float with high spirits even though it was about 10 degrees out

*being able to walk today. seriously, walking is pretty cool.

*lower back massages

*reading chapter books with the kids in my bed

*how the grinch stole christmas every day this week

*seeing the faces of the kids at the aquarium this weekend, and getting free tickets. watching the turtle eat lettuce and puke. examining the private parts of sharks.

*having all my thanksgiving shopping done

*vampire series books and the librarians that still love me even though all i take out now are bad young adult books. stacks and stacks of them every day.

*scholastic book order forms and gray getting off the bus today clutching two of them screaming "mom! TWO! TWO of them!!!"

*my date with joey today in front of a roaring, smoky fire reading dr. suess

*feeling the baby kick all night long, trying to imagine what s/he will be like in a couple of months

*connecting with a really fantastic doula-in-training who will attend our birth and who has been to ina may's farm in TN

*having all the dusty fancy plates and wine glasses already washed and ready for thursday

*grateful presents ready to be delivered to neighbors

*thanksgiving placecards

*reading in the car in the mornings while waiting for the bus, the heat blasting

*wearing brown shoes and black clothes and not caring because i'm pregnant and feel like i should be able to get away with any fashion transgression.

*joey's love for reading

*family dinners at the 99

*a whole bunch of appetizers just waiting to be made this week

*a huge pot of chicken soup on the stove right now waiting to be eaten

*family about to get-together and put aside differences this week

*brussel sprouts

*bowls of spinach

*bowls of broccoli

*seeing beautiful friends and family every time we're out somewhere in public- one of the benefits of living in the town that we both grew up in (it's actually quite comical how many people we saw at starbucks last weekend)

*oolong tea

*organic pregnancy tea

*vitamins helping me stay healthy, and keeping my baby safe

*going to bed at 6pm

*cinnamon buns

there's much more, but mama's going to veg for a bit. how's it hangin' in your world? xx

what i need

(photo by gray)

i'm hibernating.
and i can't stop.
haven't been taking many pictures.
haven't been blogging, emailing, phone calling.

i have been
surrounded
by my crafts
and stacks of magazines
and library books
and cup
after cup
of tea.

this is what i need right now
bedtimes at 7pm
vampire stories in the middle of the night
my family snuggled on the couch
surprise pieces of chocolate cake

and that's about it.

but i do miss you. xx

new

new week ahead
and everything seems possible again
starting it off with a new attitude
and a new coat
(vintage find for $5 with generous butt-pleats for my pregnancy butt)
that is bright orange
in the morning light
and a new plate
shaped like celery
gifted to me
by boo
it makes me want to race to the store
and buy celery
cream cheese
and paprika
and invite some friends over

today is midwife visit
and library
and snuggling on the couch
trying not to fall asleep
at 6pm today
because my day
started at 12am

i have been getting quite a lot of reading done
thanks to this
insomnia

off to start
life.

xx

quirky bird

gray is a quirky bird. sometimes bubbly and boisterous, other time moody, withdrawn, and kind of sad, she's always a trip. she likes to dress herself for school and sometimes comes up with some whacked outfits. she also doesn't like to be talked to when she gets off the bus for two hours, until it's time for bed. then she most always will have to go poop, even though it's past her bedtime. she likes carrots and dip and broccoli but you can't get her to eat a piece of cake (the frosting is a different story). she's a conundrum, a mystery that i'm always trying to figure out.

lately she's taken to writing names like "carlos" and "elvis" on scraps of paper (like my shopping lists) with hearts around them. boys at the bus stop run up to her and say "oooh grace, you're so pretty, i love you and you're my girlfriend!" and then i launch into my cheese-ball, "hey, we're all friends, we're all friends with each other on this beautiful planet" blah blah blah and all the little ones roll their eyes, rub their snot noses, and run away.

i'm in for a long ride.

this morning, she created this fantastic card for her bus driver. her bus driver is this pretty rad looking young woman who reminds me of annie lennox. short pixie hair dyed almost white with a nose ring and a love of funky hats. needless to say, gray is enamored. the card was classic gray- all hearts and rainbows and the bus driver's name. and then she said "i have an idea!" and so excitedly wrote "dawn- grace loves you!". she was like "this will make dawn so happy". how could i tell her that it may be borderline inappropriate to court your bus driver? so i smiled and said she'd love it.

and you know what, she totally did. i sat in my car and watched gray excitedly hand over the note, and the bus driver's face lit up like you would not believe. even from the distance i was at, i could tell with certainty that it would be the best part of her day.

and it was mine, too.




have a beautious weekend. i'll be hibernating with the fam. xx

be OK

i found this incredibly inspiring. i hope you do, too.

it's been about

i can't even tell you where i've been or what i've been up to.

it's been a lot about sitting and being in the moment. being away from the tv and away from the computer. being in the leaves. being with the kids and their art supplies and going on dates with them. lavishing them with the attention they both need right now. it's been about being in the kitchen, preparing meals, and nourishing the people that i love. it's about learning how to accept help from others, and loving when people take caramel. it's about the little things that seem so big- having a friend bake a minature "happy halloween" cake for you and hand deliver it. another friend buying me the most delicious italian take-out dinner that i could have possibly imagined. it's been about driving through the city at night past my bedtime in a cow costume. it's about plowing through stacks of books from the library at 2am in the morning. finding ways to surprise others in little ways. letting go of the need for a clean house and appreciating the love that takes place inside it instead.

i'm having guests over today. and instead of cleaning my bathroom at 4am this morning when i came downstairs, i sat down. i took a deep breath. i made a cup of tea and poured a big frosty cup of orange juice. i lit a candle. i thought about all the reasons why i'm lucky to have my life. and then i thought about how all the people that are coming over love me for who i am regardless of how my bathroom looks. there may be hairballs and mold and scary things lingering about in there, but it's real. so it will be as it is. i sat down with the glow of the computer and decided to check in with my bloggie peeps instead.

then i realized that it was actually not 4am but 3am (ah, daylight savings!)

but that's besides the point.

so even though i may be missing from here
i am still here
in the thick of it
spilling apple cider down my chin
all over my shirts
that don't fit anymore
because a baby
is popping out from the bottom

and i miss you
and think about you.

thank you all again for being here with me. xx