love update

there's really no words coming
except
i love you
and this crazy life.

xx

snowed in

we were snowed in for the majority of the weekend. it really forced us as a family to s.l.o.w. d.o.w.n. and just chill out. you know, like nap and stuff. it was kind of hard but pretty cool at the same time. there were some moments though where i considered hanging out in the car by myself though to stop the constant fondling and nudging and snugglefestivites that occured.

even though i'm touched-out, i'm feeling ready for the holiday week. hope you are, too. xx

how you likie my new 50 plus pound face? just more to love...

primal urge

i'm getting this really crazy strong almost psycho urge to go and pack a bag for the hospital. something i've never done in advance before, mind you. so what's up with this? i have no baby clothes ready- they are all in tubs in the basement and smell like funky mold. and i don't even know who this little baby will be so i would have no idea which clothes to wash. and i have no diapers or wipes or anything else like that ready to go. and no boobie-pads, which are key in post-labor nina beana land. maybe i should make a run to BJ's and pick up some stuff so i can rest peacefully at night? or i could basically pack a sportsbra and maybe some comfy fat pants and then call myself good to go? my babies really don't need anything except mama's milk and some crap-ass clothes and some lubbins. so i should chill. i really need to chill.

please friends, i urge you to bring me food and chocolate if i go early.

merry

(photo by gray)

trying to see
all the good around me
remaining open
to the signs that the universe is sending me.

listen
stay quiet
be open
slow down
remember what's important
take time
perspective

perspective

perspective.

complain complain

i've stopped sleeping completely. maybe john is right...maybe i am a vampire. i actually do sleep from 9p-12 every night. and then i'm up. but i can't do anything productive. because i'm tired. but i can't sleep. so i watch the food network and i stare at the christmas tree and i eat green apples and pecorino romano cheese.

my girl is sick. the antibiotics didn't work a couple of weeks ago and now she's even worse off than last time. she's got a double ear infection and strep throat and a high fever and weird blistery things on her face. she's a complete beast but i do feel terrible for her. but because i was up all last night, i'm having a hard time walking around taking care of people. the spiced apple turnover for mama after her doctor's appointment helped. but it didn't make the day completely peachy keen. john and i are sick too, but when you have a sick kid, you just can't be sick. so we power on.

speaking of sick, joey just pooped his pants. wanna know how he told me?:
"oops...i just did a little squirtsy-doodle!"

i forgot to mention...the boy is sick, too. with diarrhea. a major case of the squirtsy-doodles.

is it tomorrow yet?

even more good stuff

bellies and the fireplace at my dad's house, which is all the more sweeter because i don't have to get the wood, make the fire, keep it going, etc. and a fire appears whenever i request one. and the baby gets toasty and happy. and i drink tea. and watch the kids tear up the house.

freshly made sushi just for me by whole foods staff without ginger and wasabi that makes my sushi taste like poo.

dates to starbucks with johnny alone and then christmas shopping for the kids (one present each- ha!) and then our annual date trip to annie's hallmark where we buy our special ornaments and drop a ridonkulous amount of cashola but don't feel bad about it because it makes us so happy.

johnny's sympathy heartburn.

rubbing joey's head.

pushing gray to do something she wasn't feeling at the moment but then having it turn out OK and watching her realize that her mama is always right.

joey's impromptu "party" and "cake" last night.

watching joey clutch his new birthday firetruck, even when he's napping, and thinking of little randy on 'the christmas story'.

our rocking christmas tree makes me happy even though there are about 5 or 6 ornaments on each branch, especially the ones waist level and below.

joey just saying to me "mom, can i sit next to you? because i love you."

watching gray eat noodle soup.

christmas movies every day.

my date with joey today.

watching gray run off the bus after school with a huge smile on her face.

huge packages from sweet bloggie friends filled with gorgeous clothes that i can't wait to wear.

getting the mail every day and savoring every holiday card.

the second john walks in from work at the end of a long day.


xx

happy friday

"i am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye." - the brilliant kimya dawson


happy friday beloved peeps.

xx

FAQ

inspired by brittany's post about her own pregnancy stats, i offer you some of my most FAQ's about this pregnancy, and way too much information for your own good...

weeks pregnant: 30

pounds gained: about 35 plus at this point

number of babies inside: just one

boy or girl: no clue, but i think it's a girl

do you want to find out?: yes, we've tried (we've had three ultrasounds) but the tech can't see anything because of crossed buddha legs. at this point, we may just end up being surprised which is fine by us.

are the kids excited?: yes, very. especially joey. he's quite taken with the belly and the "bee-bee"

do you have names picked out?: yes. catalina redwood and teddy stonewall. and no, we're not kidding, and no, we're not changing our minds.

are you worried that teddy will hate you when he becomes a man and his real name is teddy? shouldn't you just name him ted?: no. we're not worried. there are many crazy and cruel things about this world, and if teddy's name is the biggest worry on his list, we'll consider him lucky. he can call himself whatever the hell he likes and we won't care. but his name is going to be teddy. and we'll always call him teddy bear. even in front of his partner.

will your daughter's name really be catalina catalano?: no. catalano is my maiden name, remember silly? it will be catalina redwood gilbert.

why redwood and why stonewall?: because. because we likie.

you're huge! do you think you'll make it until feb. 11th (due date)?: i don't know. i'm measuring at 32 weeks. i was informed at my appt yesterday that i should expect another big baby (joey was 8lbs. 13 oz.) which is fine by me. because i like fatty babies. i was 10 days late with gray and about a week early with joey so at this point who the heck knows.

how are you feeling?: just fine! except for when i can't walk. or poop. or during the contractions. or after 6pm.

what time do you go to bed?: around 7:15pm. it seems i can't make it much past that. but then i wake up around 12 or 1am and start my day. thank god for vampire books.



so that's the skinny folks! i'm hanging in there, enjoying the ride. i'm looking forward to meeting my sweet one, breastfeeding, and drinking again (kidding, but not really).

xx