what i've been up to

*me, my super glowy machine, and the kids going crazy
*fair trade organic coffee
*watching our sunflower and basil babies grow
*nut brown organic beer with no kids
*alone time on saturday morning
*date with myself at wild oats, sniffing everything
*all natural bug spray
*reading labels again
*dilly bars (won't read the label on these, no way)
*picnic baskets in the car
*uncle eddie's vegan oatmeal raisin cookies
*mindy's wonderous idea (i'll get back to you today!)
*reading about wendy's letterboxing adventures
*seeing mama al this weekend, eating good food and watching her beans
*date with johnny to flatbread pizza co. in portsmouth
*organic salad with seaweed
*open ovens and nice tatooed people all around
*independent bookstores
*recycling again, cutting our trash in half
*unplugging everything and cutting our energy bill by $20
*planning gray's party
*planning and designing our own letterbox
*the ali g. show with my husbands
*cold feet with flip flops
*out with the old
*buying a book to co-read with john
*a whole new stack (bolts and bolts) of fabric from dad
*all of joey's new words, but esp. "ice cream" and "stinky feet"
*plans of beach trips and cookouts
*messy craft time with gray and joey
*acoustic music and the beatles in the car
*watching joey eat a gluestick
*seeing the beans A&T and listening to their identical laughs
*watching j. drink his perfect, flowery-topped latte
*hot coffee when it's cold outside
*bringing the seedlings in at night
*thoughts of todd farm
*living more in the moment
*sleeping in until 9am on sunday (thanks, j!)
*homemade gifts and big bowls of fresh fruit
*watching joey eat watermelon
*blowing bubbles
*hearing joey say "tweet tweet" when he sees the birds
*growing catgrass for the neighborhood kitties

this list could go on and on, as this weekend was the perfect medicine for my wanderlusty soul, but i must go oversee some serious jewelry making going down on my bed behind me. here's hoping your weekends were filled with surprise stacks of vintage fabrics, hippies, and all the hidden jewels inside you revealed.

photobooth friday- the sugared-up edition

4/6/07
mall food court

what better way to pregame it for easter, the good ole resurrection of jesus (basically just thought it was interesting that there's a whole wikipedia link to this), than going to the mall, ordering sugary drinks and jumping into the photobooth next to the carousel in the food court? while i never do these things, for some reason, on 4/6/07, we all needed this. joey was really wearing those glasses (not a photobooth prop), and gray was seriously groovin' on that icee full of sugar (not an every-day sort of mama treat...but i'm going to be honest, i had a craving and was looking forward to the leftovers...there weren't any. duh, mama.) i'm obsessed with turning at least one of my sweet children upside down for the photos, despite the broadcasted-for-the-whole-world-to-see television on the outside of the booth. even though it was school vacation and the mall was swarmed with scary teens.

you only live once. spend as much as you can in photobooths, i say.

change

first let me say- good morning. the birds outside are going insane in my neighbor's yard, just squaking away, and i love every minute of it. this all starts at 4am, and with our open windows, this is when my day begins now. with the birds. my days just seem to start earlier and earlier lately, but with the new start time, i find that i'm able to accomplish more and more during the course of the day. yesterday, my new awake-time was made painfully clear to me when i woke up and realized that i had to wait four hours for the grocery store to open. we were there, gray with her feather boa and all, at 8am, waiting for them to unlock the doors.

next topic, the future of this little place called 'the whole self'. after reading keri's post, and leonie's illuminating words, and mindy's words, and many many more discussions about this (i know michelle had some amazing things to say about this a while back), and just meditating on my feelings toward blogging in general, i've decided to turn off the comments. my reasons for this are many- sometimes i find myself writing while wondering what sort of comments my words are going to evoke. and then i get all these wonderful and inspiring comments and sometimes i'm just paralyzed by people's love and generosity, but feel unable to respond or lacking in time to create a real and fulfilling connection. sometimes i don't write at all because i just can't muster up the courage to read what is going to be said. sometimes i feel a bit fake when everyone is just so nice to me, because do i really deserve it? how do i portray myself here, and is it genuine?

i've met a number of incredible people through blogging here. i wouldn't change it for the world. what would my life be like without mindy (much less pink), and my renewed daily-check-in's with jen and amanda? and my blossoming friendships with so many of you that i plan to meet in the future? i've realized that over time, the face of this blog and these blogging relationships has in fact changed. and that it's time to make a change that's reflective of this change.

i realized that for the most part, when i have sometime to say to one of you dears, i will email you directly. and that the emailing exchange, for me, right now where i'm at, is more meaningful. i'm better able to respond in that way right now. this isn't to say that it won't be different in the future, and i certainly am not ready to stop blogging. so i'm going to try this out and see where it takes me.

i will, however, enable comments from time to time. just not every day, not every post. i will still check in on everyone here, and miss hearing feedback from you. i will, time permitting, still leave comments when i'm moved and inspired and having some computer time. i will probably email you and hope that you email me, too, if something i say really speaks to you.

i want to limit my time on the computer, especially with the birds singing and the plants blooming in my yard. i want to be out living, sitting by the water watching my kids skip rocks. i want to get lost in the forest and create beautiful blankets for my family to picnic on. i still want you to journey with me...

thank you for listening.

she says it better than i could

keri smith's words here really speak to me today. do they speak to you, too?

immersed

the normal people that my husband works with all think i'm completely out of my tree. after every weekend, my collared-shirt love goes into the office and gets questions like "sooooo, what did you guys do this weekend? climb some trees and plant herbs?" and the answer is most usually "well, yeah." my husband is patient and kind, and most of all, actually enjoys most of the crazy things that we do as a family. like letterboxing. and spending time in greenhouses, "price comparing" and rubbing the leaves and smelling our fingers (i have to force this one on him, but he does it).

these past week, we've all been immersed in family time. stacks of identification books. filling up the bird feeder and watching who comes to visit. taking care of our little seedling babies that have finally poked through the soil. researching butterflies, and talking about vermicomposting. john's co-workers should really have a field day with that one...pounds and pounds of worms living in our house, turning our garbage into gold!

we've purchased the bulk of our herbs, most of which we're tending inside until the nice weather sticks around permanently. our kitchen window is now the home to a random assortment of herbs that i'm bound to be throwing into every meal that i make, whether it fits or not. anyone up for a dill mojito?

in addition, we've been trying as a family to live lighter on the land. as the past high school president of earth awareness (dork) and college manager of the recycling center, you'd think i'd be on top of this one, but not-so-much. so with earth day and the spring upon us, we've been recycling and eating much more organically. i've changed the way that i feed the kids and feed myself throughout the course of the day, and it has been h.a.r.d. let me tell you. and i still suck at it, but hopefully not as bad.

there's also been much crafting, although i find when i'm trying to craft, the kids get a little funky and try to kill each other. the screaming increases when they hear the sound of my sewing machine. but i've got lots of ideas swimming around in my mind, so i'm trying to go with it. plus, our day now starts at 5am sharp, so what else is a mama to do except sew a new outfit or two, all before 7am? it's insane, and i'm bound to crash like i always do, so i'll ride the wave while it lasts.

finally, we've got parties to plan and parties to attend. the prospect of going to CT this weekend to hang with my fellow hippie mama al is one of the major things getting me through the week. that, and the prospect of beach pizza at some point.

thank you all for laughing and crying with me through my last post experience. the day only went up from there, filled with trips to the "good" grocery store, and organic snacks under the sprinkler.

out of the woods

we (meaning me and the kids) just got back from the forest. it's only a bit past 9:30am now, but it's already felt like the longest day ever, and i'm already rockin' a huge headache. let me backtrack...

because it's supposed to be 85 degrees and sunny out today, i thought it would be best to carpe diem and get out early and go for a little picnic with the kiddos at a local vernal pool. we usually venture into the forest with daddy, who with his ex-military-navigational-skills (just a hint of sarcasm here) can get us out of any we-have-no-compass related quandry. but today i decided that we were going to make.this.day.ours.! with the picnic packed, and the kids ready to go, we arrived at the tiny parking lot and started on the trail.

only to realize that we literally had to hike up rocks with my non-hiking-stroller. i stupidly brought the regular baby-trend (uugh!) stroller, and not our more ergonomically-friendly one for hiking adventures. but dammit, we were getting to the water! slowly, i began to realize that last week we.had.a.huge.flood. the area that we were "hiking" in was literally submerged last week. another brain fart moment.

and then i realized, as we got closer to the larger-than-usual vernal pool that we.were.getting.swarmed.by.thousands.of.breeding.mosquitoes. being the good mom that i am, i did not pack anything to protect my sweet baby skins from the attacks. i looked down and joey was covered. i took one look at gray and said "run!" of course, she takes the opportunity to go a face dive on some rocks and comes up bleeding. "run anyway!" seriously, i'm lucky nobody was around to see, especially DSS.

getting away from the mosquitoes, with the exception of the ones still a'suckin' on our bodies...we make our way back (or what i thought was back) to the car. as we keep walking, and walking, and walking, i realize that somewhere along the way we took a wrong turn, or something. now we're hiking up rock faces with the stroller and gray in her little crappy tennis shoes and me in my flip flops, trying to partially carry the stroller when the rocks get too big. we're f'ing lost! and gray's all "this was your idea to go for a walk, and all i wanted to do was stay home, but no! mama wants to go for a walk! and now we're lost. great, we're lost. why don't you call daddy and tell him we're lost. now we're never going to find the car!" and i'm all "we're not lost, but what's up with that 'caution' tape all over the trail markers? well, let's go down this way anyway, i'm sure it can't be that bad."

oh, it was. we literally went down the side of a mountain, following what i thought was the right trail, only to find ourselves at the bottom, and the trail flooded (explains the caution tape, i guess)- having to make our way back up. gray falls again. i feel like i'm in a movie (like the scene in babel when the nanny is in the desert with the two kids and she's trying to find her way and she has nothing to drink...). except i had food. and a cell phone. but no f'ing compass (not like i'd know how to use one anyway). where was the f'ing car? and is that the highway? we were waaaay far away from where i knew the car to be parked in relation to said-strip of highway, people.

to make a reaaaaly long story short, we made it back to the car. gray was such a trooper, hiking for miles and miles with hardly-a-complaint. joey was oblivious to our hiking mishaps, except for the occasional whiplash when i slammed head-on to rocks and the carriage just wouldn't budge. we saw a butterfly on the path right in front of us, brown with white-tipped wings, and it landed on a rock and let us talk to it. we sang songs together. we laughed at the ridiculousness of our adventure. although i wanted to cry at times, gray ended the hike by saying "our car! i finally see our car. thank you mama for getting us out of there. see what happens when we're brave together?"



this whole weekend was spent frolicing in the woods (with daddy supervision) and in greenhouses and with our hands in the dirt, celebrating the earth. many more stories to come.

world peace in all of us

nam myoho renge kyo
(individual happiness equals world peace)

the sun is out
the shades are open
the rooster crows outside the school
the seedlings sit out in the sun
the sound of sweeping up the glass from the broken table after the storm
the birdseed drops from the feeder onto the driveway
and the birds snack all morning long, and sing sweet songs to us
we dream about the weekend, being in the forest
with mud boots and celebrating the earth with the animals
phones are off the hook and all the peace seeps in
the long tendrils of smoke curl around the bedroom
my cold drink makes a ring on the bathtub shelf
the record player soothes me while i slip under the
chamomile and lavender bubbles
all the candles in the world can't make things right
but right now this is enough

inspiration for the greys

(nina beana plus herbal drop- who doesn't need one on days like today?)

on days like today, when the news is nothing but sad and scary and overwhelming, it's nice to recenter and remember that there is some (read: lots of) good in the world. i decided to take a break from sad-eating yet another pound of bacon and some raw cookie dough thrown in for good measure and write a bit about the good things.

:: the wish studio and my dear peep mindertins and her creative spirit and energy-

if you haven't already, you must stop by the new spot for mindertin's creative project, the wish studio. i'm not a good phone person (no secret there) but i made an exception and called m. the other day because i just needed to speak with her so badly about this new space. if you know me in real life, i've already probably talked your ear off about the studio and the opening. see her sidebar? see the info about the opening? wanna come? i'm going to be there for the opening and the trunk show (m's going to be sick of nina beana!). yoga space? creative space? mama and bloggie friendship space? i'm in. please come and support the wonderous endeavor of such a beautiful soul.

:: melba and justBe...Connected

melba's spot is colorful and inviting and inspirational, too. and her project, justBe...Connected- simply divine. on my worst days, when the kids are being insane and biting each other's eyes (happened this morning), i close my eyes and think of october 12-14, and think of being surrounded by such freakin' coolness. i think of my blank journals and my hotel room and the workshops i'll go to. i think about meeting some of you. so consider investing in yourself and join me (and melba, and m., too!) at justBe. you won't regret it.

:: small magazine- eye candy for stressed out peeps like me

wanna drool over pretty eye candy treats? make your way over to the online small magazine.

:: random acts of kindness

you know those nifty flickr pro accounts? up until recently, i didn't have one- my dearie c. lovingly pointed out to me that i'm just to...uh...frugal to purchase one for myself (something about my seven dollar a day limit...) well, a complete stranger who happened upon my photos and felt inspired actually bought me a flickr pro account...what?!? how freakin' amazing is that? and the funny part is that c. was going to buy me an account on.the.same.day. just because she's so damn cool.

some people are good. unfortunately, some people are really, really bad. but some people are just so good.

dualities of nina beana

another couple of days that have been trying and cathartic all at the same time, if that's at all possible. a flooded basement coupled with the most amazing clam chowder on the beach, watching the waves churn. my angel-on-earth mother-in-law in the hospital coupled with the most amazing talks and tears you can imagine (please keep this sweet mama in your thoughts- she's a rock to many and we need her to stick around...crazy crying fits coupled with the sweetest of mama alone-times. a broken plant-seeds-and-sing-songs van (again), but the chance to do all my errands solo in a perfectly working car today.

all in all, the best kind of weekend...ones that you never imagined would be all that great, but end up exceeding all expectations.

here are some snapshots:

lots of unintentionally shoplifted herbs stuffed inside big juicy balls of meat and the best boo sauce ever

purple toenails are a must for my sanity, even though i'm not a nail polish person (no polish on my nails...LMT no-no)- but i had to purchase it, not quite sure why. also doesn't go that well with my new teva's but i'm rockin' on the inside

molesting indian food containers and my renewed faith in mama-time and friends saving your life by listening to you and introducing you to purple cow frozen yogurt which contains not only chocolate chunks but big honkin' pieces of white chocolate


joey's new face (that he makes all the time now), which is accentuated by the slathering of butter
how could i resist this photo op? gray is constantly calling everything a "trainwreck"...we usually are referring to her hair as such. when i saw this i dragged everyone out of the van and snapped away-

hospital trips, the sounds of my loved ones talking, being in the car, care packages, and craft magazine
this mama is tired. i can't wait to roll into bed tonight and put my earplugs in (that one's for you, jen! i'm a total convert now that john snores even when i roll him on his side) and wrap that down comforter right over my head. comfort, take me away.

hope your weekends were magical carpet rides, and that you can't kayak in your basement like me.

what keeps me

this week has been, um, interesting, to say the least. post-nyc blues and creative juices with no outlet (not completely true, but how do some of you have so much time to be so damn creative?). joey's breathing problems (or not-breathing problems) and doctor's offices and my car breaking down yet again, trapping us. breaking down at gray's school this morning and then having to work on my car with my work clothes on. massage therapist hands that are now oily and my knuckle that has been torn off. thank you nu-skin, for creating another knuckle before i have to go to work in an hour.

ok, negative nina beana. enough of you.

so here i go, off on a thursday tangent, channeling all things positive and sanity-inducing:

::my early morning phone call with joballies this morning
::positive health thoughts of my dear friend c. who goes in for major surgery today- a new hip!
::weekend date with my other c. and c., hopefully involving crafting and eating under tables
::this new hiding place for me and hubby
::crisp and cold gala apples
::making up with gray after a supreme meltdown
::this corner of my home
::making mock-ups of birthday gifts for all my beans
::snow days and bottomless cups of joe
::and this corner of my home
::early naps and early-to-beds
::memories of this recent date with j.
::all of these beans, who are innocent and pure and raw, and remind me of what life is all about
::big bowls of steaming chili with lots of corn
::my gray is a budding jewelry designer. she makes the earrings, and then i "needlenose" them, and then she forces me to wear them for the rest of the day. nothing makes me happier.::these animals that jess and i found at the dollar store engaging in x-rated acts
::this moment last weekend
::and lately, when i'm feeling stressed and tired and poo-ish, and my dad is driving us around to all our errands because our car is broken, and i think that life is just really tough, i look in the backseat, and completely unsolicited i see something like this
my freakin' kids. they sometimes beat the crap out of each other and fight over who gets to hugs me and claw at my face, but when i least expect it, they are holding hands in the car, just because they can. because they love.


now i'm successfully recentered. ready to start the day and get stuck in the snow again.

and the winner is...

dear piper!


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this video was actually taken around 5:45am this morning. i put gray to bed last night explaining that we'd do the "drawing" when she woke up. evidently she remembered...because when she burst into our room at 5:30am, she was all "let's do the drawing for pucknopolis!!!". we came downstairs and gray picked piper. and then proceeded to draw everyone else's name out of the basket. she's like her mama...wanting to make puck dollies for all 33 entries. hubbie was the voice of reason and called me insane, and forced me to just pick one winner, because that's what contests are all about, supposedly. pooh.

gotta love the "naaaah, that's not the winning...". saved ya, piper! sorry to whoever she threw back into the pot before i intervened...

so piper, inspirational soul and fellow-clarkie, please send me your snail mail address when you get a chance! we'd like to pop puck in the mail (sometime after tomorrow's expected snow storm, of course...grrrr). congrats! just you wait to see the wonky nina-beanaish sewing skills!


thanks for playing, people! and stay tuned for more giveaways, because you know that i'm addicted now, right?

n.y. mo'fo c.

first off, let me just say that i feel better equipped to write a post now that i polished off a tub of hummus, a big circle-bigger-than-my-head of pita, and 10 cups of coffee.

secondly, let me say that i haven't done the final drawing for dear puck yet, but plan to do it after work this afternoon when gray is home from school. thank you for all your entries and sweet comments about puck. he's flattered, and is currently sitting up high on a shelf, away from paint-covered fingers and teeth that would love to pluck his button-eyes from his unsuspecting cow face. more to come about the results of the drawing later today.

lastly, femiknit's monday nyc love made my day yesterday. and her new site has me swoonin' and stalkin' in true nina beana style.


ok, on with the updates! i'm inspired and tired. maybe that should be my new motto of the week. there just isn't enough time in the day to do everything that i want to do, especially now that i've got the creative fires of nyc burnin' under my fanny. boo and i headed into nyc early early sat. morning, leaving our husband at home to watch the kiddies. our list (meaning: my list) of things that i wanted to do in nyc was random and filled with things that were easy to accomplish:

::nyc style pizza
::big women's bookstore
::natural foodplace
:: chinese market
::flea market/thrift stores
::record store
::hot dog carts
::vintage nyc
::fake big sunglasses
::pint glasses of beer
::photobooth at bubby's

funnily enough i get most of these things satisfied in my daily life, but there's something about doing them in nyc that seems much cooler, i guess.

needless to say we ended up doing most of these things and totally exceeding my expectations. three outdoor flea markets, a stack of purchased black and white photos, some very photobooth-esque, taking pictures of colors and textures, walking across and around most of the shaft of nyc and feeling the burn in my underexercised thighs, basement photobooths and using the nyc village voice as our photobooth props, the most unhealthy eating on the planet that included hot dogs and pizza (hey! they were on the list...i had to) and a big paper cone of fried-right-in-front-of-your-face french fries, darkish underground bar where drinks were consumed, taxi rides and ridonkulous conversations with the driver, stacks of fish in chinatown and feeling the bustle of the crowd all around, americal apparel, vintage bras, lots of jay-z and beyonce and lenny kravitz and sufjan stevens and the b-52's, bathroom self portraits, watching episodes of 30 rock in the car, people watching in the best of places.

my friday with the kiddies also included a photobooth (and a carousel and cherry icees) so stay tuned for more photobooth lovin'.

and can i just say that whoever invented easter candy deserves a good smack on their fanny? i have absolutely no self control.

happy tuesday!

more to come

starbucks bathroom, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

but in the meantime, check out the multitudes of NYC pics here...

http://www.flickr.com/gp/93618941@N00/Ei082h

and don't forget, today is your last chance to leave a comment for puck!

heart you.

the "wanna piece of me?" spring giveaway!

today i was feeling inspired and generous and creative (gotta roll with it when i'm feeling it, right?), so i decided to honor that and came up with a giveaway idea. blogging is revolutionary and subversive and encouraging in so many ways, and each and every one of you hold me up when i'm feeling down. so why not create something to send to one of you in honor of you special ladies and germiefreaks? i just wish i could send something to every one of you.

that is to say that you want this little gem i've created...

someone wants him, no?

here he his- puck fignopolis. he's a cow that likes to listen to records and has a liking for vintage fabrics and buttons and wool felt. he's a keeper.




what do you do to enter, you ask? leave me a comment under this post. all peeps, dear and near ones and anonymousy-readery ones, too. you owe me nothing except good karma. at the end of monday night, i'm going to close the comments to this post (i act like i know how to do this), and then put all the names in a hat, and let my gray pick the winner. she's already made a "puck fignopolis" song, so maybe i'll catch the winning pick on video, winner and all. i'll announce the winner and then scramble to get in touch with you regarding your snail mail address. if i'm successful, then i send you dear puck.



please enter. my self esteem depends on it. and good ole puck needs a friendly bloggie home.

if you're the lucky winner, you get to see my wonky sewing techniques and puck's lumpy-stuffed leggies up close and personal! (stating the obvious, i know...but puck's eyes and nostrils *nostreeels as gray would call them) are vintagey buttons, so puck's not a good wee-one hands-on toy, more of a high-up-on-the-bookshelf-lookie-lookie toy, ok?

(one last one, with a legless jenny doll for scale)

happy video day!

feeling quiet again, with all the snow and another round of sickies. but also feeling a bit silly, and got just the dose of beegine humor when i went to boo's blog and found this little gem:

(warning, don't watch at work or with the kiddies around...or if you have kids like mine, it's fair game i guess...)



and then this video, with i found at hathor's place, got me thinking:



14 months of breastfeeding ain't pooh when you're rollin' with mamas like veronica!

getting inspired by:

::the new free people catalog
::east village research, duuurty all around
::watching people at the airport for about two hours yesterday. people scare me and enlighten me


and finally, a little home video that i like to call "my son as a truck". obsessed, i tell you...obsessed.


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my life as i know it

my life as i know it, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

finishing up a knitting project, a gift for a dear friend, but she won't receive it until the hottest summer month

a bat under my leg, under my step

a pillow that is in desepate need of a new slipcover

a table, and little hands, smeared in peanut butter

the smell of pumpkin bread in the over

first word dictionaries strewn across the floor

flipflops on even though it's sleeting outside

headed in to the big city for an airport pickup (eeeks! city driving...must get another coffee to get through this adventure)

journals and gifts and packages to be organized and wrapped and created

still planning NYC trip (keep the suggestions coming...i'm eating them up. we are going to spend the whole day (and budget) on eating, clearly.)

incense, wet heads from baths, piles of laundry to be folded, the hum of the monitor as joey sleeps



how's your life?

peace and quiet

right now, as joey sleeps soundly in the next room and gray is off at school dressing like a princess and learning about barbies, i'm sitting here with nothing but the sound of the typing keys and the soft hum of the monitor. it's luxurious. i even took the phone off the hook, and have a nice steaming cup of coffee sitting on the table next to me. it's raining and cold outside, and the light in my room is dim and somber. i'm loving every second of it.

there hasn't been much peace and quiet here lately. joey and grace have been at each other's throats, a new phase in our family routine that i'm just not used to. i feel like a referee most of the day, keeping the peace. but amidst the chaos, there are tender and sweet moments like the one pictured above. moments that i did not stage just for a great photo op. moments that make my heart break with love. when each of them pick up a book and read quietly, enjoying each other's company for the moment. the sun shines through the windows in the porch and we're all warm and safe. there's no noise from the tv or the radio and you can smell dinner cooking in the kitchen. everything is as it should be, for the moment.

then let the chaos begin again.



spending this time planning for my upcoming weekend (meaning a saturday day-trip) to NYC with my two favorite men, john and boo. anyone out there have any good suggestions from grub or fun places to explore? we like it dirrrrty...there will be no sight-seeing of the statue-of-liberty-type for us. i want little hole-in-the-wall bars, chinatown shops, photobooths (anyone?), hot-dog carts, and blue nailpolish. all suggestions welcome and appreciated...please?

wrapup

with daddy gone at work most of the week, coming home after the beans are in bed, we are consistently determined to pack in as much quality family time on the weekend as possible. this weekend was no exception- it shined brightly on the horizon of our week, getting us through, and then exploded into existence, readying us for yet another week away from daddy.

friday: early morning work on the lovliest of clients. massaging away pain, physical and emotional. then walking around on a "signs of spring walk" where our girl got to point out everything she saw that was a sign of spring. she kind of went with the idea and started pointing out all the literal signs in our neighborhood. we were all inappropriately dressed, wishing for warmed weather. i was wearing flip flops and trudging through unmelted snowbanks. the kids were drippy and happy to be outside. sandboxes. yard cleanup. garden readying. neighbors. friday night we got our favorite pizza and had some sam adams pale ale. i slept like a baby for the first time in two weeks.

saturday: more work on an incredible client. then packed up pails and shovels and headed to the beach for our planned "tide pool" activity. get to the beach and all hell breaks loose- it's freezing, gray is crying, joey fell in the ocean. we managed to dig a big hole and burying joey anyway. got some rocks for the zen garden. newburyport library book sale where everything was free. got some random things i can cut up, along with a stack of records. visit with an old friend and then more driving and drink treats and our first stop at dairy queen for dilly bars. it's never too cold for ice cream. late night dinner of grilled steak tips and big huge asparagus and salmon. listening to our girl chatter and eat for real for the first time in days.

sunday: early morning cinnamon french toast and coffee and then out the door on an "alone" date for a couple hours. we went to a local park we've never been to before, sitting on top of huge rocks in the middle of the city that we never knew where there. exploring, picking up trash, sitting on the dock of a vernal pool watching the wildlife. basking in the quiet, even if it was just for an hour. wearing flip flops to hike down rock faces. the crunching of the leaves and being in the forest again. going to open houses and dreaming of other people's lives. hot dogs on the grill, the first of the season. toasted buns and relish. garden supplies strewn over the lawn, and seed planting with the kids. dirt under our fingernails. hooded sweatshirts and smeared soil everywhere. visiting with family and then a late day trip to the most distopic, apocalyptic dollar store with jess, looking for gaudy sunglasses and easter treats to hide in the yard. listening to beatles records and eating grapes.


there was more, there always is. duty calls...

hope your weekends were filled with blank pages, free sales, and salt and pepper shakers of love.

quotes that feed me, and photobooth love

feeling mighty quiet today after being up since 4am and a powerful massage session, so i offer you some quotes:


"i began to cherish the most quiet, vocally unresponsive crowd because it forced me to go in further, into myself, to be more true, to not reply on the currents of approval or applause. so i could become more of who i am and trust that they play would reach whoever it was meant to reach. i learned to stop moving fast. i learned to breathe. to find my way to the next beat without prop or charm or playing for laughs. to sit in the uncertainty, to find my way in front of the audience as it was happening, to let my insecurities be apparent." -eve ensler, insecure at last

"freedom is not knowing where you are but being deeply there". -eve ensler, insecure at last

and this

"who am i
when i am not trying to make others feel better?" -bright leonie


and just because it's friday, some photobooth love:

booger balls and stoner laughs

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we are blessed with the most helpful of big sisters, and the most patient of little boogery brothers. it's always an adventure here, let me tell you. my life is filled with baby stoner laughs, green boogers, headaches, and love. here's proof.