first let me say- good morning. the birds outside are going insane in my neighbor's yard, just squaking away, and i love every minute of it. this all starts at 4am, and with our open windows, this is when my day begins now. with the birds. my days just seem to start earlier and earlier lately, but with the new start time, i find that i'm able to accomplish more and more during the course of the day. yesterday, my new awake-time was made painfully clear to me when i woke up and realized that i had to wait four hours for the grocery store to open. we were there, gray with her feather boa and all, at 8am, waiting for them to unlock the doors.next topic, the future of this little place called 'the whole self'. after reading keri's post, and leonie's illuminating words, and mindy's words, and many many more discussions about this (i know michelle had some amazing things to say about this a while back), and just meditating on my feelings toward blogging in general, i've decided to turn off the comments. my reasons for this are many- sometimes i find myself writing while wondering what sort of comments my words are going to evoke. and then i get all these wonderful and inspiring comments and sometimes i'm just paralyzed by people's love and generosity, but feel unable to respond or lacking in time to create a real and fulfilling connection. sometimes i don't write at all because i just can't muster up the courage to read what is going to be said. sometimes i feel a bit fake when everyone is just so nice to me, because do i really deserve it? how do i portray myself here, and is it genuine?
i've met a number of incredible people through blogging here. i wouldn't change it for the world. what would my life be like without mindy (much less pink), and my renewed daily-check-in's with jen and amanda? and my blossoming friendships with so many of you that i plan to meet in the future? i've realized that over time, the face of this blog and these blogging relationships has in fact changed. and that it's time to make a change that's reflective of this change.
i realized that for the most part, when i have sometime to say to one of you dears, i will email you directly. and that the emailing exchange, for me, right now where i'm at, is more meaningful. i'm better able to respond in that way right now. this isn't to say that it won't be different in the future, and i certainly am not ready to stop blogging. so i'm going to try this out and see where it takes me.
i will, however, enable comments from time to time. just not every day, not every post. i will still check in on everyone here, and miss hearing feedback from you. i will, time permitting, still leave comments when i'm moved and inspired and having some computer time. i will probably email you and hope that you email me, too, if something i say really speaks to you.
i want to limit my time on the computer, especially with the birds singing and the plants blooming in my yard. i want to be out living, sitting by the water watching my kids skip rocks. i want to get lost in the forest and create beautiful blankets for my family to picnic on. i still want you to journey with me...
thank you for listening.
