freakin' life rocks

lately, the kids have been so brilliant and shiny that i have a hard time looking at them. and lately, i've been getting struck randomly by the feeling that can only be summed up as "holy shit! i have KIDS! they are mine. and they aren't going anywhere."

lately, the kids have also been so hideous and cruel to each other that it's good enough birth control to get me through to january, when john and i are going to the bahamas to stay at the atlantis, for free! john's group met their sales goal (what what!) and now we're being treated to a three night four day stay at the very place that makes oprah cream (not that i care about that sort of thing, but this is what people have told me). not too sure how i feel about plunging into a pool of sharks through a plexiglass tube, but i can be convinced. and now the damn stingrays just remind me of steve irwin, which makes me want to burst into tears, so i may have to avoid that pool too! but anywho, my goal is to stay baby-free until january so i can guilt-free abuse myself for four days, and not be puking the whole time from the good ole hormone roller-coaster.

this weekend we found ourselves on the coast, at the fairy house tours in portsmouth, NH. we explored tiny fairy houses, and gleaned ideas for our own at home. my tiny little fairy with her broken wing broke the heart of the author and creator of the event tracy kane. gray even schmoozed her way onto her lap for a picture!

we traipsed through herb gardens, and i was in my element.

yesterday we found ourselves surrounded by some of our favorite people on the side of a lake, picnicing. gray is just like her mama, with a big love for kissin' on babies. for the rest of my life, i want to eat the sound of these babies laughing.

there has also been pumpkin patches and lots of bright sunny children smoochin' on each other. and carts and carts full of organic and all-natural produce, filling our bodies. there have also been sleepless nights, nightmares, and meltdowns, lest you think all our life is sunny and grand. but overall, i can bask in the greatness of a mailbox full of delicious mail, the thoughts of upcoming women gathering together, lifting each other up, and the fluttering of fairy wings.

summahtime

there is just too much to write about, unfortunately. you can look at the flickr pics, which will give you a glimpse into the craziness that has been our summer (or summah, if you're a local) lives, running from place to place, and dipping in our feet in a whole bunch of waters. our vacation was dreamy, and filled with donuts and lobsters, herb walks and waterfalls. hidden treasures in trees and raspberries on the side of the road. the rest of our time has been spent foraging in the garden, weeding, picking blueberries and raspberries, dancing our booties off to live music, cutting wildflowers and stuffing them into old salsa jars. there have been lots of mangoes eaten. and those ice creamy treats called drumsticks. we've had our share of those, too. we've got it good, us gilberts. there's a crazy magic in the humid air, threatening to rain down on us. it's the magic of birth and redemption and cleansing. it's good music in the car even if your good music is neil diamond. it's receiving a mailbox full of postcards and the latest issues of your favorite magazines. it's hanging out with friends drinking wonderful drinks and eating delicious food that you grew with your hands. it's about breaking down and feeling so low only to come full circle and feel alive again.

favorite parts

lately, our lives have been so full that i've been at a loss for words. there is so much beauty and movement and f.u.n. that i can't seem to articulate everything i want to say. i feel incredibly blessed, especially considering the heartbreak that many of our loved-ones are currently experiencing. maybe i feel a tad bit guilty having such a full life? during the past week or so, i've kept all my gratitude inside, almost bursting at the seams. so here are some of my favorite parts, all tied up with a bow.


*watching my girl celebrate her 4th with her friends and family- all 70 strong surrounding her
*dates with boo to borders
*lunch with jess and hummous with lamb and huge fatoush salads
*eric carle's "the tiny seed"- thanks c. and j.!
*climbing a local abandoned ski hill to find a letterbox, and in the process finding lots of frogs, one of which was bright orange, and a tons and tons of the elusive ladyslippers
*locally-made, delicious chocolate peanut butter ice cream two days in a row for dinner
*coolers filled with drinks on the porch
*buying myself tickets to medeski, martin, and wood for my birthday in august
*soon to be buying tickets to nickel creek for father's day for john
*stacks of new books and craft supplies for my girl and i to dig through
*watering the garden
*c.' castle in her backyard that she created for her boy's birthday
*m. and her family driving all the way to our house for gray's birthday
*a full jar of home-grown sprouts in my kitchen waiting for me to eat them
*bouquets of lilacs and mint for friends, covered in vintage children's books
*library book sales, and finding my favorite books
*not reading the last chapter of barbara kingsolver's new book because i don't want it to ever end
*sitting under my tree with tab and her family, just talking and loving
*watching gray adore her cake from mimi
*holding hands up and down slippery slopes
*admiring pum in a onesie, a farmer's hat, and mini clogs
*dates to read shel silverstein with my girl later this afternoon
*bug projectors
*watching the birds swoop over our heads
*salads with nametags- i like to personalize them
*flax seeds- frankly, i'm obsessed
*local peeps- www.buyfresh.org
*writing my wishmama piece for here (check back later)
*the wish studio's launch party this friday night! (swoon)
*tingy's birthday quilt made out of boxer shorts
*working on some of the most beautiful souls i've ever met, and grieving with them
*seeing babies play in my sandbox
*feeding people
*hands-off gardening techniques
*sending gray off to school this morning in a brand-spankin' new white eyelet dress
*having some of the best neighbors a girl could hope for
*cheese and grapes in bed
*chocolate in bed
*fans in bed
*not caring about having a clean house anymore when people come over
*stacks of thank you cards
*freshly cut bangs
*curtains blowing in the wind
*boat rides yesterday around portsmouth harbor, and the kids being good thanks to bribery
*sun-kissed shoulders and noses thanks to said boat rides
*little organic hippie stores, and how they always smell the same, and how they are always called 'the mustard seed'
*recycled clothes
*hand painted t-shirts
*6pm bedtimes

hope your long weekend was long in the fun department. xx

what i've been up to

*me, my super glowy machine, and the kids going crazy
*fair trade organic coffee
*watching our sunflower and basil babies grow
*nut brown organic beer with no kids
*alone time on saturday morning
*date with myself at wild oats, sniffing everything
*all natural bug spray
*reading labels again
*dilly bars (won't read the label on these, no way)
*picnic baskets in the car
*uncle eddie's vegan oatmeal raisin cookies
*mindy's wonderous idea (i'll get back to you today!)
*reading about wendy's letterboxing adventures
*seeing mama al this weekend, eating good food and watching her beans
*date with johnny to flatbread pizza co. in portsmouth
*organic salad with seaweed
*open ovens and nice tatooed people all around
*independent bookstores
*recycling again, cutting our trash in half
*unplugging everything and cutting our energy bill by $20
*planning gray's party
*planning and designing our own letterbox
*the ali g. show with my husbands
*cold feet with flip flops
*out with the old
*buying a book to co-read with john
*a whole new stack (bolts and bolts) of fabric from dad
*all of joey's new words, but esp. "ice cream" and "stinky feet"
*plans of beach trips and cookouts
*messy craft time with gray and joey
*acoustic music and the beatles in the car
*watching joey eat a gluestick
*seeing the beans A&T and listening to their identical laughs
*watching j. drink his perfect, flowery-topped latte
*hot coffee when it's cold outside
*bringing the seedlings in at night
*thoughts of todd farm
*living more in the moment
*sleeping in until 9am on sunday (thanks, j!)
*homemade gifts and big bowls of fresh fruit
*watching joey eat watermelon
*blowing bubbles
*hearing joey say "tweet tweet" when he sees the birds
*growing catgrass for the neighborhood kitties

this list could go on and on, as this weekend was the perfect medicine for my wanderlusty soul, but i must go oversee some serious jewelry making going down on my bed behind me. here's hoping your weekends were filled with surprise stacks of vintage fabrics, hippies, and all the hidden jewels inside you revealed.

world peace in all of us

nam myoho renge kyo
(individual happiness equals world peace)

the sun is out
the shades are open
the rooster crows outside the school
the seedlings sit out in the sun
the sound of sweeping up the glass from the broken table after the storm
the birdseed drops from the feeder onto the driveway
and the birds snack all morning long, and sing sweet songs to us
we dream about the weekend, being in the forest
with mud boots and celebrating the earth with the animals
phones are off the hook and all the peace seeps in
the long tendrils of smoke curl around the bedroom
my cold drink makes a ring on the bathtub shelf
the record player soothes me while i slip under the
chamomile and lavender bubbles
all the candles in the world can't make things right
but right now this is enough

indulge me

these are a few of my favorite things- the ultimate indulgences:

fingerless gloves, brown paper bags filled with organic treats and oils, multiple colorful bags slung over my shoulder, listening to my folk radio show in the morning in the car with the heat blasted on my face, essential oils in the shower, whole milk yogurt with tons of granola on top and waiting until the granola gets all soft and mushy, spreading out crafting supplies on the floor and getting achy knees from all the crafting activity, martin sexton, red hot chili peppers bringing me back to my adolescence, "relax" riesling, big plates of pulled pork with my hubbie's special bbq sauce, cream and sugar in my coffee every morning, bagels with lots of butter melted on top, the smell of whole food markets (should be bottled and sold), burt's bees pepperminty lip gloss, my white fuzzy-inside frye booties keeping my feet warm, wearing hats to hide my badly-growing-in hair, massaging interesting people with stories to tell, powerful friend conversations with healing powers, homemade postcards, big gaudy homemade beaded earrings, stacks and stacks of books and magazines all waiting at attention to be picked up and loved, the feel of john's feet in bed, the way grace slams into our room in the morning starting off the day like the gunshot at the begining of a race, the way joey's nose gets really red when he's cold and it stays like that most of the rest of the day, bowls of steaming hot chili with lots of cheese, maple bacon, getting tucked in, tylenol PM, surprise meal drop-offs from dear friends, falling asleep to the sounds of games being played, natalie portman, finally clearing out my inbox, new issues of magazines, upcoming massage parties, hand-written notes and saving them for the future so i can remember.

a weekend of food and fullness

this weekend was filled with the best sorts of things: pajamas and slippers, mapley appley bacon, cinnamon swirled french toast made on electric griddles, watching a kids' movie and reading stacks and stacks of books that i grew up with, library book sales where i got a big brown paper bag full of children's books and records for $1, fresh city salad bar and those delicious free cinnamon and sugared pita chips, homemade (by the husband) corn chowder and ginger butternut squash soup, cranking up the heat and not leaving the house for two days, date nights with thumbelina for gelato and uncomfortable borders moments, big salads with cranberries and blue cheese and fresh greens and boo-homemade maple balsamic dressing, listening to musicals and classical music on record, lots of reading of adult books (that sounds dirty- by adult, i mean bookclubbish books...you know, russian history and all that jazz), making anatomically correct gingerbread cookies and then practicing letting-go while watching gray drizzle frosting like a madwoman, and then watching her eat a half-full container of red sugary sprinkles, nursing joey like it's going out of style, football games on the tv downstairs while i work on the computer upstairs, getting my ducks in a row, working on two normal and needing clients this weekend, dreams of tingy's eggplant parm, a new love of nutella (in gelato form), wearing hats to hide my bad hair, lots of massages for sore muscles, reconnecting with my husband, taking vitamins, putting joey to bed last night at 5:15pm, watching parts of 'back to the future' and laughing, blankets, earlobes, no spaces between 'them' and 'me'

grateful thursday stream of conciousness

(femiknit's hands and stencils and scissors...all the good things)

colorful rings, salt and pepper shakers filled with glitter, pages of journals filled with children's drawings, watching my daughter run off to her friends when i drop her off to school, surprise presents of my favorite stella artois, preparing a package for a special someone, styling my little ponies' hair all day long, watching my family and friends interact while i sit back and relax, ebay items being bid up to ridonkulous amounts, sitting down for a bit of bloggie inspiration, taking the day off from work because of "emergency dental work", and stealing that phrase from last night's episode of top chef, even though i thoroughly made fun of it at the time, prepping, karen dalton's "in my own time" (get it now, it's incredible!), ben harper, planning dates for the weekend, boo having the day off tomorrow, making a meal to send to my mother-in-law for her dinner tonight just because i felt like taking caramel, eating garlic bread for breakfast even though i have a 2pm dental appointment and they are probably going to die when they smell the combo of four cups of coffee and leftover garlic powder emanating from my insides, green kitchen's comment on my 'overdue post' post about how she got to witness a birth and it was on her life list (go check it out, it made my life!), feminknit's post and subway picture of me with coffee (surprise surprise) and our freezer paper stencil adventures, new sheets on our beds, dancing to aunties jo&lib's dance mix at top volume, mr. wendell (i freakin' love that song, still), wearing a hat today and not taking a shower and not caring, recycling more, swiss cheese and canned soup and stuffing and rice and chicken and garlic bread and NO vegetables and not caring, homemade ice cream pies- my new signature non-recipe that i'm bringing everywhere so be ready, the book 'the birth house' by ami mckay that is causing me to loose sleep at night, listening to my radio show in the morning, reframing situations when i feel angry toward people, living a commune-like life, watching people snuggle in blankets on my couches, grace eating my earlobes even though it drives me crazy, joey starting to hug and snuggle and be daring and exploratory (you know, like eating safety pins behind my back), cleaning the mold out of the shower, stretching, superman with joey and having him drool on my face and shirt, my inspiration board and plans to reorganize it, grace's drawing of john with a little thing coming out of his eye and she says "oh, that's daddy's ipod" and we don't have ipods so i have no idea how she even knows that words and is able to use it abstractly

happy thursday. almost the weekend peeps.

quiet gratitude

this deeeelicious bracelet was gifted and crafted for me by my cousin vinnie (tee hee...always gets a laugh!)...THANK YOU! xoxo

you know how it goes...i get all in my head and overwhelmed and overstimulated and creative and simultaneously stopped in my tracks. my inbox gets full, my dishes get dirty, there are loads of laundry to be folded. to do lists to do. but i'm immobilized. i was that mom today...the one with two screaming kids tearing at her body in public places, with my shopping cart rolling across the parking lots, and someone kindly yelling "your carriage! your carriage is rolling away!" and i drop a kid or two and run across the parking lot like a wild woman, in my high heeled boots and too-tight sweater. i'm that mom today. what are you?

in honor of my mood, i'm going to take a couple of quiet moments and reflect on all the good around me:

*the smell of gray and joey's heads when i take them out of the bath. it doesn't last long but it's the best smell in the world.
*stacks of books and articles and knowledge waiting to enter my head.
*oreo cookie crusts and two half gallons of ice cream waiting to be scooped inside.
*karen dalton's music waiting to be listened to.
*the yarn from acumama that i want to drape across my body and wear as an outfit. you made my life! thank you.
*kind emails pouring in from everyone...i WILL get back to you, i promise.
*amy's dream about me being a gymnast. i'm not kidding you amy, we had watched horrible gymnastics videos of me the night before you sent me that email...and even though i haven't gotten back to you yet, your email freaked me out in the best way possible. and solidified the fact that we were in fact separated at birth.
*upcoming vacations with jen's family.
*taking men's vitamins because it makes me feel all genderbendy.
*getting magazines at the library.
*smiling at the bagging boy at the grocery store.
*piles and piles of homemade sushi, and femiknit for teaching us.
*red fleecy blankets.
*listening to people's secrets.

happy wednesday. i'll be sure to have a drink for you tonight.

i'm lucky because

i'm lucky because:

i have a family who puts up with my photobooth obsession

i have friends who bring me gingerbread cookies and put up with me being a bad hostess

i have a half-eaten mexican casserole on the stove downstairs

i have a date with my husband tonight to a yummy restaurant, a photobooth, and then to a bookstore to read maggies

i managed to fold about seven loads of laundry today, and finally feel like i'm getting out from underneath all that's weighing me down

gray and i are being taken to the nutcracker tomorrow in boston for a super freakin' christmas date with aunties jo and lib

i have a husband who has started to play with trains and puts up with me when i make jokes and call him a trainwreck for being so trollish

i am attending a kiddie countdown-to-the-new-year party this weekend, but we're going to count down to 12 noon instead of midnight

this weekend is going to include fat, juicy steaks and lobsters and lots of champagne, hopefully pink- oh, and eclairs. freakin' eclairs! did i mention how much i love eclairs?

i love to add official-sounding initials after my name

i am writing articles again

my kids are both taking naps right now

my family never fails to be obsessed with watching my crazy children

my friends and husband and family love me even when i'm having the post-holiday blues

i got to massage a wonderous pregnant mama yesterday

did i mention the champagne?

i hope your weekends are filled with countdowns to something really life-changing.

xo