(I am writing this blog post because I needed to read it today. I searched around, reached out to some incredibly wise friends, but ultimately felt like I needed to write this down in order to work through it.)
First let me start off by stressing how supported and lifted up I feel by 99% of the people in my life. There is just so much goodness, and it's overflowing daily, and that's what life is all about. I don't expect it, but when it comes, as it always does, I hope I receive it with grace. THANK YOU to each and every one of you who took time to wish me well, light a candle, or send a loving message or text.
The reality is that every once in a while, a hateful internet troll pops up and rears their ugly head. The saddest reality of it all that sometimes these are people that we consider loved ones---people we trust, people we care about. This is when it hurts the most, and feels like the lowest kind of blow. When people question your integrity, your family ideals, and point judgey-troll fingers at you and the ones you love----the first instinct is to retaliate. Actually, my first reaction is to jump off the internet forever, and hide my family, and live in a cave filled with Reese's peanut butter cups. But then they win.
Every single one of us out there, if we're human, can think of one these types of people. The type who suck us dry, who drain our joy. The type who falsely accuse, the type that drama always follows. One of the hard parts of being human means that we have to deal with these people, whether we like it or not.
Last night I sat in church, listening to the priest talk about the pain in our life (whether it be an illness, a difficult situation, or a hateful troll----my words, not his) that ultimately equals our crosses to bear. He explained that pain isn't something that we should hide from or try to dull with drugs or alcohol. Pain exists to teach us something--- and bring us closer to our essence, and the goodness in other people. I'm choosing to believe this. I'm choosing to continue to do me, without apology or explanation. I will continue to look for the good in people, and not hide or keep secret what is not shameful. I'm choosing to connect, and not disassociate.
I hope these words help someone feel less alone. Especially if they have their own troll trying to bring them down. You aren't alone. This world is a big place, filled with trolls and angels. Be a magnet for what you need. And try your best not to run away to a hole filled with Halloween candy. We all need you to do you.
(*If you have any words of wisdom to share on this topic, I'd love to hear them! Please comment here or reach out to me privately. And if you are my own private troll, please feel free to keep your comments to yourself and go eat some candy xo)
3 comments:
Someone recently told me that if you've got haters, it means you're doing something right. They're being hateful because they can't stand seeing others succeed. It's a defense mechanism.
Also, I used to delete hateful comments, but this wise person also encouraged me to always keep them. It makes the person that wrote it look more ignorant, especially when their comment is surrounded by lots and lots of positive comments from others.
I commend you for what you've done in the past and what you're doing now. It takes a strong person to be able to help people like you're doing. The world is a better place because of selfless people like you.
So sorry to hear that someone has tossed such negativity at you. You SO don't deserve that Nina. PLEASE continue to "do you," knowing that the negativity is her issue (I'm assuming it's a "her" - so sad but it's usually us women who are the mean ones, not men). There has to be something lacking in her life for her to strike out. I know it's hard to move beyond hurtful comments, but focus on the 99% of people who support you and love you. I am definitely part of that 99% :)
You rock. You are a rock to me. Solid ground. Love you! & all you stand for!
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