happy february

i love this picture because he looks so pathetic and precious all at the same time

happy feb. everyone!

no hot water...hot water heater decided to poop the bed...so off to puppa's for a shower. this mama is a stinker!

a pic of a pick

oh gracie, so much like your daddy.

GSD= getting shit done

blogger is acting like poopoo, so i can't post images at this point, but i wanted to give a little update. today is a super productive day...massage stuff, post office, walmart (ugh) diaper and wipe trip..and all the bills paid. listening to project runway podcast like a complete dork. funny how tv has become a bigger part of my life and downtime after #2.

em: wish i could eat one of your whoopie pies with a big glass of milk

al: your spinach dish was complete yumminess and even gracie ate it!

boo: can't wait until wed. hi, i'm a troll

jess c: are you out there? i miss you. come over wed. night for dinner and project runway with kevin and i! we NEED to catch up soon.

steph: love you so much and can't stop thinking. thanks for our talk yesterday. you're the best.

crystal: miass you miass you. want to come over too? sorry i never got back to you last week. let's make it happen this week. hope you had a good trip this past weekend.

hal: love the fam shots on the fotolog. love seeing your beautiful faces!

joballs: valentines. me. you. craftiness=love.

xo
love to all my peeps and anyone i may have missed.

congrats!

congrats to our dear friends from watertown, ny...roland, jen, rocky, and their new addition...seth patrick! i can't wait to get my hands on this little package, although i'm sure he won't be little for long. much love, hugs, and happiness coming your way. we love you guys!

xo

happyhappyjoyjoy

tiny moments

grace's favorite conversation to have with joey. i overhear them conversing these exact words many, many times a day, while i'm in the bathroom, while i'm in the kitchen trying to cook. it's often followed by the sound of joey gagging when grace tries to plug his crying up with his binky.

"oh! you're looking for your milk? there it is!...in mami's boobies!!" -grace, to joey

self portrait tuesday: mirrors

new photos up on flickr

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ninamariegilbert/

inspiration and chubby thighs

doesn't get sweeter than these chubby thighs...the bigger his get...the smaller i want mine to be!

does anyone have any inspiring book suggestions for me? i want something first personish or slightly self-helpish (although i usually hate these kinds of books...) or memoirish. right now i'm reading "a million little pieces" and i need something positive and inspirational when i'm all done.

xo

thank goodness for dora and her annoying backpack (grace's picture of the tv)

anyway, thanks to everyone for your thoughts and well wishes for nicole. i haven't had an update since i saw her thursday night but she was looking better than i thought and is really just lucky to be alive. it's enough to scare me not to drive again, though. it really is such a crazy, crazy world. but we're all glad that she's living and breathing on her own, and for now, that's got to be enough.

this weekend is semi-relaxing...i'm trying to live more in the moment but it's freakin' hard with two screaming little ones. john and i went out on a "date" last night but came home after an hour...a VCR problem at home sent grace into dora withdrawal. today it's mom's house for lamb and beans and weird conversation.

xo

thoughts

sending out good thoughts and love to my dear friend nicole who got into a major car accident yesterday and is in the ICU. i was lucky enough to spend sunday night with her catching up and eating and talking, and now she's in bad shape due to the crazy wind and rain yesterday. keep thinking of her and her family and hope everything turns out OK.

other than that, my dad took care of us today by taking us (yes, again) to newburyport and the beach. we went to an outside sculpture garden and took great photos and then gracie and i chased waves at the beach (hello, freezing). life is fleeting and fragile and i'm trying to savor every moment of it.

xo

self portrait tuesday

blissy blissy breastfeeding time

as much as it's been a struggle, i'm proud to say that these moments are such a big part of my personal history.

my life

this picture just about sums up grace's mood today...clingy, whiny, grouchy. oh these days make me appreciate the happier ones where everything is sparkly and crafty and wonderful.

love this quote...found in a magazine last night at our almost three hour family date at borders!

"one cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."
-virginia woolf, "a room of one's own"

off to the doctor's for joey today. thank god, because he's stopped pooping (you think i'm kidding but i'm not) and i need to talk to someone stat about it! poop, boobs, throw-up...this is my life.

peace

still tired. no people, that's not red eyeshadow that i'm sporting. those are my goddess-given capillaries showing through my eyelids! sleep deprivation and sinus issues are catching up with me. lovely johnny took grace out to breakfast this morning so i could cry and try to sleep in peace. and last night i got to go out ALONE for almost five hours. i'm lucky to have some wonderful ladies in my life who take such good care of me. i wish i could've lived more in the moment and thought less about my little ones but i guess that's motherhood for you. the night before i also went out with just joey and had a grand old time listening to my radio in the car, banging, and catching up with friends. looking forward to the week ahead, looking forward to joey's acne clearing me up (it's breaking my heart...along with the cradle cap and the chunks of hair falling out of his head!), and looking forward to feeling at peace.

xo

the good things

(a pre-acne sweet shot)

as a p.s., i thought i'd add a little "good things" list to help stay focused and positive:

1. library book sale today...and lots of wonderful finds...felt tutorial, gyo fujikawa, sweet pickles
2. pizza at the beach again yesterday, and the heat blasting in the van, with hot coffee
3. seeing grace in aunty emily's quilted dress
4. dora the explorer videos that keep grace occupied while i cook
5. steak for dinner, or scallops!
6. seeing friends this weekend
7. working on my family and relationship goals for the year
8. grace's ice skates
9. joey sleeping in his crib, on his back! and waking up twice to nurse
10. yoga journal
11. creamy tea in sippy cups
12. sugar
13. finished thank you notes (or hopes to have them finished soon...)
14. grace pooping on the potty
15. boo bringing me surprise iced coffees
16. getting rid of my porch full of christmas gifts
17. watching my forced bulb grow
18. folded laundry
19. seeing john proud of himself and his body
20. the future of non-maternity clothes!

snuggles

looking forward to the weekend, which is funny, because i think some may think that as a stay at home mom, every day is the weekend!...but this just isn't true around here. i can't wait for john to be home, can't wait for grace to go to puppa and dede's for her friday night date, can't wait to watch 'born into brothels' and sit on my couch and drink tea and hopefully do something crafty and see my friends. oh the weekend.

back to nursing full time, no formula. met with lactation consultants and they were able to keep me in their clan for the time being. i felt like i was being recruited! anyway, joey has his bad times and good times, but i love nursing, so i'll keep with it. he doesn't have a milk allergy (they tested his poop!) so i feel good knowing that. grace is being a complete piece of work this week...and i find myself continually wondering how she learned to be so damn mean and nasty. i feel like the mother of a hormonal teenager. she's absolutely biting sometimes. and then other times she'll look at me and tell me i'm beautiful and her best friend and how much she loves me. i can't figure it all out.

the only other thing going on is joey's acne...it's so bad at this point that i literally have a hard time looking at him. every inch of his face, ears and neck is covered, except for the round tip of his nose. i'm talking thousands of small red zits. it's horrible. there's nothing to do about it. except at least now i know it's not my milk doing it to him, it's just something that happens around 3-4 weeks. grace didn't get it. i wish i would've read the advice "take all the pictures before the acne arrives" before last week!

gems and boobs

thanks for the kind words, dear friends. things here are not good. i just cried on the phone to a lactation consultant. i need to look outside my world and realize there are much bigger, life-altering decisions to be made other than to breastfeed or not to breastfeed, but right now this seems so huge.

and so do my boobs.

to remember to laugh, i found this video:

http://gem.space150.com/

also, www.gemsweater.com

great material for trollspotter.

self portrait tuesday

freakin' exhausted.

focus, mama! focus!

lots of screaming and crying here, although everyone is currently (temporarily) sleeping. joey had some formula last night and we put him in his crib for the night. probably more traumatic for me...he seemed to do ok until 3am rolled around. everyone's cranky today, including me. tried to counteract it by getting out of the house and buying a yoga mat (fancy pants me!) with store credit from christmas (goodbye fugly sweater!). anyway, boo's on his way over and joe's about to wake up soon...just wanted to check in.

poor little pummers

look at this stinkin' face. look at the little bags under the eyes, and the sad-man pout. oh little pummers has a bad, bad belly. it's been crazy here...lots of screaming, lots of not sleeping, lots of trying to poop and not being able to, lots of suck-blisters, and lots of pushing. poor little pummers is having a tough time digesting something and i'm not quite sure what. don't get me wrong...i love breastfeeding more than anything, even when it's tough, i love it. but i feel like i'm making my baby sick! we may break down and try him on a formula bottle tonight (i can't believe i'm going to do this, but i can't stand to see him like this anymore!). we'll see how that goes. i don't want to stop!

and how is it that 3 weeks after having a baby i can get my period!?! why am i such a fertile mertle?!

congrats to johnny on his big big deal!

and check out jo's photoshoot through the link on my fotolog...
www.fotolog.net/ninamariegilbert