the beauty in doing absolutely nothing

today was another snow day.  a quiet day.  a day that i promised myself that it would be OK if i just wanted to hide out in bed all day and let the kids work it out amongst themselves.  a "detachment parenting" kind of day.  and so far, it's been awesome. i read, relaxed, juiced, worked out, listened to records, lit some candles, meditated, cleaned the house a bit, ate some salad, snuggled with the dog and the kids, had a B-52's dance party, watched the kids draw together, sent an insane amount of gratitude into the universe for a fantastic neighbor that plowed us out (john's away), made cookies, and just vegged.   deep breaths.  i find that when i set the expectations really low, and practice detachment parenting, the best sort of days happen.  the best part is, it's 1:45p and almost time for sushi date and watching "parade's end"...and then bed again.  

xoxo

the things i never thought i could do

the weeks are rushing by with incredible speed.  the kids are off this week for school vacation, so i've been in mama-taxi mode, where i spend most of the days just driving around, dropping kids off and picking kids up.  we took a trip to the zoo, we had a mini-reunion with friends over brunch in the snow.  we yelled and we cried and then we all snuggled on the couch and watched a diary of a wimpy kid movie.  there's a mini-vacation on the horizon this weekend, with a hot tub and a whole bunch of junkie snacks and fun magazines in my future.

in between, there have been lots of small things that used to be things that i never thought i could do.  or maybe never thought i wanted to have to do. something like that.  every day now, there are needles that i poke myself with.  there are bruises and lumps and lots of things that i thought would freak me out.  there are sharps containers and trips into the city by myself in rush hour traffic for doctor's appointments.  things that seemed too huge to conquer, but now seem just fine.  i look at it as prep work for something wonderful. 

i will admit, i have been lazy lately.  i've taken to napping every day, maybe for mental health but also because i'm tired.  maybe it's the weather.  maybe it's self care.  whatever it is, nothing feels better than curling up in my warm king bed in the middle of the day with a book and falling asleep for a bit.  so yes, the kids have been watching too much tv.  and yes, my kitchen is sometimes a mess of dishes.  but i am happy.  and warm.  and lucky.

herbal goodness

during these cold, windy winter months, i've been creating some herbal products and building my home apothecary.  i haven't been painting or sewing, but creating with herbs is just as satisfying to me.  i love the pots of this or that bubbling on the stove, and i especially love when i take a leap of faith, create something new, and the end result actually works!    i get off on getting huge deliveries of herbs on my front doorstep.  ;)

so far, i've made::

* a rosemary tincture (we use it in a spray bottle and spray the back of our throats when they get sore----immediate relief!)  this was the first thing i made---over six months ago, so it's ready to go now for cold/flu season.

*  citrus/lavender hairspray (wanted to transition away from the crap product i was using...)

* peppermint lip balm (as much as i LOVE burt's bees, i wanted to try to recreate my own at home...and after a disastrous first attempt ---think hard-as-a-rock beeswax balm----, i finally had SUCCESS this morning!  five gloss tubes and two big tins later, i think i might be set for life!  plus, joey's lips are cracked and bleeding, so i can load up his backpack with tubes and hopefully he'll be good to go!)

*  lavender/kaolin clay facial mask (i have a really rigid routine when it comes to what i do with my face, and i find that when i stray from it, i break out!  so i usually shy away from masks.  yesterday i created this mask, used it, and my skin was seriously the softest it's ever been.  it's organic and all natural, and didn't cause any breakouts!  i think i will be adding this mask to my weekly self-care regimen).

*  vanilla honey/mint sugar scrub  (SO good.  i'm also not a big 'scrub' person----but after using this yesterday, i am a convert!  it was the first time i've actually split and scraped a vanilla bean, too, and it's incredible.  i'm obsessed.  it's good enough to eat.)

* red raspberry leaf tincture  (just made this the other day , with LOTS of 100 proof vodka, which got a little eyebrow raise out of johnny when he came home.  as in 'where the heck is half that huge bottle of vodka you bought YESTERDAY?!?!'.  it will be ready in 5-6 months.  which will be perfect timing for all the womb goodness that will be going on right around that time!)



on tap are a couple of different salves---the herbs are soaking the in the oil right now on my windowsill.  creosote balm, and then a heal-all balm with comfrey and yarrow.  i'm going to make an all natural neosporin.  some aromatherapy sprays (i spend entirely too much money buying the pre-made ones...one of my weaknesses!).  a lotion or two.  eventually i'd like to try my hand at soapmaking but i'm afraid of the lye.  excited to have an apothecary day here with a dear friend, mixing up potions and goodness for our families, like good witches do. 

what are you creating?  do tell.  xoxo

room enough for it all

there is room
enough

for all the good times
all the days where everything is shiny
the kids are running around
and playing nicely
all the stuffed animals are lined up
and pampered
by their human caretakers
there are muffins baking in the oven
and good music is playing in the kitchen
the cups of tea are endless, and
always perfectly warm
everyone brushes their teeth
without me asking
and the dirty laundry
finds it way into the laundry basket
the dog has no accidents
we all snuggle on the couch reading out loud
the homework gets finished without tears
and
my glass of wine is waiting for me
when i come down from putting the kids to bed
early

but there is also room for

all the tough times
when the kids are terrible to each other
and i try to take a shower and someone runs in bleeding
the dog poops on the floor
and someone walks through it
my hands can't warm up
nobody takes a nap
the floors are covered in dirty clothes and wet towels
there is nothing to make for dinner
except mac and cheese
which only one child will agree to eat
the husband is away
bedtime makes me want to cry
and i am out of wine.

there is room for both in my life
i embrace
the hard days
because i know that on the other side
are easier ones
and 
i embrace
the wabi sabi days,
the balance of struggle and ease

fertile

with the start of the new year, lots of people in my circles pick a word to carry them through the next 12 months.  the word encompasses everything you envision for yourself for the year----maybe something that you strive for or want more of in your life.  one "assignment" in the apothecary class i'm taking was to think of our word for the year.  for some reason, i was pretty resistant to it initially, mainly because i usually shy away from any self-examination stuff.  for a hippie girl, i consider myself straightforward and do a minimal amount of self reflection.  something in the back of my mind kept nagging at me though, and i kept coming back to the word "fertile". 

i see 2013 as a year of fertility----in my relationships with my children, with my friends, with my family.  fertile listening.  fertility in the way that i am able to plug into people in my life.  fertility when it comes to my work with my clients and my own self nourishment. 

also, a fertile body.  while i am done having children of my own, i am going to be embarking on the journey of having a child for a wonderful couple.  lots of my thoughts lately are centered around preparing myself mentally for being as healthy and fertile as possible, to receive this beautiful gift that is going to be brought into the world.  i am open and ready to begin the process!  it feels scary and tender to write about this here, which is part of the reason why i have been so quiet lately.  but i am putting it out there into the universe----this is going to be an incredible, fertile year. 

the thing is, this word is already so much a part of my daily life.  and for that i am so lucky, and grateful.  thanks for coming along on the journey. 

well then...

first off, this happened::

(we just brought him home last week.  he's a cavalier king charles spaniel.  he's ridiculous.  i never thought i could be a dog person, because honestly i've never really felt a connection to dogs -besides fear- but this little guy has changed my life.  i'm in love.  i'm officially one of 'those people'.)

and then this guy turned SEVEN::

(here he is at puppa and nan's house, sporting his new bike helmet that he got from them...to go with his rad new neon orange bike that we got him!)

i did some crafting for the holidays-----tie dye-ing and blueberry jam making!   i'm going to be an auntie very soon so of course my niece-to-be needed some hippie love for christmas...

(we did a LOT of entertaining.  like a lot.  which is pretty much my favorite thing to do.  knocking the wall down, getting the floors, and doing the big vintage island with the five stools was the best idea ever.  we've already got our money's worth out of it these past two months!)

(i found this picture on my camera.  made me die laughing for a couple of minutes).

and to top it all off, christmas happened.  and with it, it's many many many parties and gatherings and celebrations.  which were all awesome.  i will spare you the details.  just know that it all culminated in john rubbing his gifts all over himself, just like he does every year. 

happy new year!  back to the basement to bag up everything we own to be donated!  i'm over it all.

csa in review...better late than never

when we originally signed up for our csa this year, i wanted to make sure that i documented what we got every week, so when it was all said and done we could look back at all the beautiful veggies that crossed our paths.  finally, this morning, i got a chance to finish up my weekly recap pictures!  here's all twenty weeks of veggie goodness....  it's definitely eye candy, and good motivation for me to jump back on the veggie train post holiday!

i love veggies!  i got kris carr's "crazy sexy kitchen" cookbook for christmas and i can't wait to start cooking through some of the recipes in there! 

each moment is precious

as a mom, one of my most favorite things is when i upload my newest photos from my camera onto my computer.  then i open the folder and look through each and every photo, usually from the past month or so.  my favorite part is when i find photos that weren't taken by me-----but taken by the kids.  either i've handed them the camera to keep them busy, or they've taken it out of my purse and snapped some photos of things that moved them without me knowing.  it's these captured moments that i love the best.

i just uploaded some december photos, and found these posed pictures that the kids took of each
other in front of our tree (which fell down the next day, btw, and half our ornaments broke!  that's what we get for buying the most ginormous tree on the farm!).  i love the expressions, the love, the tenderness, the silliness.  i love that lulu is in her underwear and wearing her vintage christmas stocking on her foot. 

i've been feeling very emotional this week (like everyone else, i'm sure), and mama-bearish in regards to my children.  i'm looking forward to having them close to me all next week during vacation.  i am trying to savor every moment, even the hard ones.  each moment is precious.

wisdom

some words of wisdom from lulu (she says this at least 100 times a day)------

"yesterday was yesterday.  today is today.  tomorrow is tomorrow". 

seriously, it's like having my own personal yoda sometimes. 

support amazing artists, part II

 thank you to everyone who took the time to read my last post, and click around some of the links!  as promised, here is part 2-----more creative, beautiful artists and wonderful projects to support!

kelly barton's art and design------ooooh, i could buy each and every thing here!  i love her art, her baubles, her magic.  total eye candy!

i am lucky to call georgia a friend----and her shop, gypsy wings, is incredible.  i own one of her necklaces and whenever i wear it, i get mucho compliments.  i wouldn't complain if santa brought me one of her beauties...

how awesome is this soul mantra locket?

i want every single one of athena's perfunes from her shop sage goddess!

i have anna wingfield's soulodge spray and it's pure awesomeness in a bottle.  everything in her shop looks amazing!

mati's art is some of my favorite------bright, bold, beautiful!

i love all the things in stacy's "bella wish" shop, especially this om shanti necklace!

is that you, santa claus?

my own holiday gifts in the making

i am blessed to know a ton of talented women who create beautiful, handcrafted things.  and since it's the holidays, i thought it would be the perfect time to share some links to some of the amazingness!


::   i was lucky enough to recently be gifted some products from leigh at desert moon herbal.  i can't even begin to describe to you in words how giddy products like these make me-----safe for mama, safe for baby, safe to spray all over yourself like a freak and then do it again a couple million times before the day is done.  i love the anointing mists and i know you will, too.  have anyone on your list who needs a little calm this season?  i'm sure you could think of someone.

::  erin darcy's art makes me want to eat watercolors.  maybe not eat them, but lick them...WHAT?  that's WEIRD?  well go look at her art and you'll see what i mean.  it's insanely beautiful, in the best of ways.  

::  kat's button bracelets feature the coolest vintage buttons.  and kat is rad.  and her shop is adorable.  oh, and there are earrings and bobbies for stocking stuffing. 

::  maggie's goods are making me a little want-y...i really, really want-y some of these goodies for myself!

::  know anyone that likes to read?  DUH.  of course you do!  and taproot magazine is top notch.  you will love it.  trust me, i have my own subscription, so i am an expert on this. 

::  i love the beauty of celeste's art-----  dreamy.  and strong.  yes. 

::  if i could get a tattoo of this print by my friend jeanette, i would.  so important.  wait...what?  and notecards?  i totally didn't see those until right now. 

::  wendy is one of my favorite magic-makers.  this mighty girl art workshop PDF would be a perfect (amazingly priced, i might add) gift for any tween, teen, or adult who's in the mood to make some magic of their own. 

::  a copy of this book by jena strong for the poem-lover (or life-lover) on your list.

::  my friend deb has some special things listed---just looking through her things brings me a sense of peace. 

::  how cool would it be to give (or receive?!?!) these green kid crafts monthly subscription boxes?

::  writing services from marybeth bonfiglio?  that would be freaking incredible?  wanna know how i know?  because i am lucky enough to circle with her and witness her alchemy all the time!

::  any and all of these doterra oils are on MY wishlist this year

::  all of the pieces in this shop are things that i would like to wear....  this enchanted pixie does it right.

::  a spot in this deeply rooted for the holidays gathering from stephanie perkinson would make a sweet treat.   she's got lots of awesome stuff to offer!

::  gift someone an home apothecary education...and use code HERBS300 for a discount!  laura emily's got some pretty incredible offerings. 

:: how could i NOT mention one of my most favoritest shops around?...  julie's headwraps cover my noggin on a daily basis, and for that, i am very grateful.  AND she has a 10% coupon code up---- GRATITUDE.



gratitude.  pretty much sums it up right about now, wouldn't you say?  xx

hey

hey girl hey

life
it's a whirlwind
we trick or treated
lost power for four days
had our floors put in
repainted the whole bottom floor of the house
our puppy was born
there's been sleepovers
and parties
and family
and appointments
and parent/teacher conferences
and we hosted thanksgiving
and we picked our christmas tree
and we aggravated each other
and loved each other fiercely

life is messy, and quick, and beautiful.

(if i had to post a video to sum it all up, it would be this one)

tampon telescopes

i cannot even begin to EXPLAIN to you how badly i'm kicking myself in the ass for not having a picture to go with the following story.  but it's still a rad story, so here goes...

yesterday, i was at a friend's house for a mama playdate and a kid playdate.  really it's just a chance for all my high school friends to get together and catch up, but the kids love it too, mainly because they get unlimited cupcakes out of the whole deal.

so we arrive and lulu and my friend's son immediately disappear upstairs for a freakishly long time.  there was a monitor on, and we could hear them chatting but we couldn't really make out what they were saying.  and since i was practicing radical hands-off parenting yesterday, i really couldn't give a shit what was going on as long as lulu wasn't biting my friend's son's face off.

fast forward about a half-hour, when my friend's son comes downstairs and says "WE MADE TELESCOPES!!!!!!"  and i take one look at his telescope and say, "no, buddy, you made tampon-scopes!"

my friend and i ventured upstairs to find a whole box of tampons opened and deconstructed...the applicators made into a ton of tiny cardboard telescopes. 

priceless. 

you know you have a good friend when you can laugh and say "i owe you a box" and we just continue on with the party.

oh snap!

lulu and i were walking through the grocery store parking lot this afternoon.  she didn't have a jacket on even though it was pretty freezing today because she had insisted on leaving it in the car...and honestly, she's the third child, so really, i pick my battles and don't give a crap if she wears a coat into the store or not. 

we walked by this old dude in the parking lot smoking a cigar (he was the second guy smoking a cigar we saw in like five minutes---the other guy was smoking INSIDE the grocery store though...what?!?!).  we walk by and he says to lulu "hey, you need to go put on a coat or you're going to freeze!".

and i kid you not, she stopped, looked at him (he didn't have a coat on either) and goes...

"why don't YOU go put a coat on?"

i just kept walking but seriously i almost died.  she wasn't being fresh or disrespectful.  she was just giving it back to him, like duh dude, you go put a coat on and THEN you can talk to me about it.

it was a classic lulu moment.

when we got to the car i looked at her with this look and said "lulu...." 

and she looked at me and goes "FOR REAL mom.  he needs to put a coat on, too!".



classic.

mama fun

lulu has been slightly obsessed with doing her "homework" lately----which just means that she's coloring or creating art most waking hours of the day.  i'm just happy when she's not drawing on my granite countertops with sharpie markers or "practicing" her writing on my plywood floors.  when i'm not cooking or puttering around, i'm usually parked next to her, creating my own works of art that make me giggle.  it's the little things, people.  the little things. 

just a day in the life

wake up early, headache
the kids all pile into bed at 6:15am and snuggle under blankets
grubby feet from the dirty plywood floors
all grumble and follow each other downstairs
breakfast, three different ones for three different kids
watch a show while we wake up, eat
two eggs for mama with nutritional yeast
wash your face!  get that eye crust out before school!
teeth brushed, mama showered, hair combed
head wrap on, dirty jeans back on because we have no laundry
machines this week
get kids outside for the bus
say hello to the man who's putting in our hardwood
pack snacks and lunches for the car and off we go
grain store to buy 10 pounds of flax seed
and we say hello to the baby chicks huddled near the warming lamp
then more errands to pass the time
off to storytime
to watch my child
hide under the seats and not want to participate
and that's just fine with me
five little pumpkins sitting on a fence
snacktime
cartime
hanging outside in leaftime with nice people and babies
lunchtime with my dadtime
snuggling on a couch with four beautiful dogstime
iced coffee date with my lovetime
organic store for a big bag of vegetables
kids off bus
one kid in the car with snack, off to afterschool activity
mama goes food shopping and reads JK rowling's new book in the car
back home
dinner waiting
couchtime snuggling, oreo eating, wine drinking
captain underpants reading
kisses
kisses
kisses
bed

all he wants for christmas, evidently

"i'm not saying that i want anyone in our family to die, because i totally don't want that.  all i'm saying is that i really just want to slap a dead person in the face, over and over.  slap slap slap.  that's all i want for christmas."  -joey

with a little help from my (little) friends

the above picture pretty much sums up my life lately.

getting lots of help from my three little friends, while we are in the midst of a major home renovation project.  john ripped up all the flooring in our whole downstairs (and at the top of the upstairs, too).  which wouldn't have been a big deal except houses built in the 1970's have this crazy thick board stuff that has approximately a trillion nails AND screws in it, and that needed to come up, too.  the kids love to "help", and we've been trying to be patient and let them be involved.  which results in lots of little scenes like the one above----markers "helping" us take the carpet up.

so i've been quiet here, and everywhere.  pulling back and pulling in.  maybe it comes with the change in the season, maybe it comes with the darkness, or maybe it's come because of all the rain.  maybe it's because i've been living with a thick layer of dust all over every surface of my household.  maybe it's because we have plywood floors right now and if i look hard enough i can see into my basement.  life seems a bit unsettled. 

in a few days we will be completely done with the tear up.  then we will cover (again) most of the walls with a new (different) color of paint.  and then in a week or two we'll be getting our floors!  and i can bring my finished island up from the basement.  and start really nesting and cleaning and getting ready for thanksgiving, my favorite holiday.  i may or may not have started my christmas shopping today.  it's all about the nesting right now.  nesting and fall scented candles.

so if you're looking for me, i'm here, under a dusty quilt waiting for the beginning of november to arrive.  xx