the weeks are rushing by with incredible speed. the kids are off this week for school vacation, so i've been in mama-taxi mode, where i spend most of the days just driving around, dropping kids off and picking kids up. we took a trip to the zoo, we had a mini-reunion with friends over brunch in the snow. we yelled and we cried and then we all snuggled on the couch and watched a diary of a wimpy kid movie. there's a mini-vacation on the horizon this weekend, with a hot tub and a whole bunch of junkie snacks and fun magazines in my future.
in between, there have been lots of small things that used to be things that i never thought i could do. or maybe never thought i wanted to have to do. something like that. every day now, there are needles that i poke myself with. there are bruises and lumps and lots of things that i thought would freak me out. there are sharps containers and trips into the city by myself in rush hour traffic for doctor's appointments. things that seemed too huge to conquer, but now seem just fine. i look at it as prep work for something wonderful.
i will admit, i have been lazy lately. i've taken to napping every day, maybe for mental health but also because i'm tired. maybe it's the weather. maybe it's self care. whatever it is, nothing feels better than curling up in my warm king bed in the middle of the day with a book and falling asleep for a bit. so yes, the kids have been watching too much tv. and yes, my kitchen is sometimes a mess of dishes. but i am happy. and warm. and lucky.
