i'm dreaming...of a...bath.

thoughts of a bath, alone, when the kids are in bed tonight are what's getting me through this crazy witchy hour right now! a beer, my patti smith autobiography, and a nice scalding bath with my new bubble bath. i loved my little weekend vacation more than i can express here, but this monday is payback! and a little someone turns two this week and is making sure to cause as much mischief as possible before it happens.

there are about 10 vintage headless barbies laying around that didn't know who they were messing with.

snow reset button

today is another snow day. snow is like the ultimate reset button. we woke up this morning and all that poopy snow was covered with pristine snow and it felt like a new start. there is no school today, so it's just another day of drinking hot chocolate, eating english muffins, making something in the crock pot, and watching that new owl movie. we are feeding the birds on the deck outside and have set up chairs and watch which ones come to visit. right now there are a bunch of tiny little birdies eating the leftover dried stuffing from thanksgiving. then a bright cardinal lands, and it's a pop of red. these little moments of beauty are going to get me through the day.

and for lulu, it's just another day to eat the tips off a couple hundred markers.

want to know what else is going to get me through the day? thoughts of my mama retreat vacation tomorrow with my sisterwife! we are going to a beach house in CT to drink wine, read magazines, and do nothing. yeah...that's kind of the ultimate motivation to get through today to get to TOMORROW! fun. xx

friends&gifts, gifts&friends

the other day i was sitting around when a nice package wrapped in a red bow arrived on my doorstep. when i opened it, inside was this gorgeous wool viking hat, gifted to me by two awesome friends. with it was this note:

um, hello? "ring in the new year as a viking goddess"! love. love the hat, love my friends, love that as soon as i got the hat we got over two feet of snow. love.

also, my friend pat also gifted me with a METHUEN hoodie! i've been eyeballing his hoodie for a while now, and never got around to getting my own after he informed me THAT THEY HAVE A WHOLE SECTION OF METHUEN GEAR AT RITE AID. a little bit tongue in cheek and a whole lot of dead serious (most of you know how obsessed with methuen i am). last week, he came over to conquer a million mario worlds for us on the wii and brought me my own sweatshirt. it was seriously one of the nicest things that a man that i'm not married to has ever done for me. thanks pat! i'll wear the sweatshirt with pride!

also, daily emails from this mama keep me sane!

and finally, my friend C. left me the best message on my phone the other day- which was something like "hi, i'm going through my old shit from college and found a whole bunch of hippie clothes...and i want to give them to you!". best.message.ever. can wait to get my mitts on some new hippie digs! because according to the kids "mom, you wore that yesterday. actually, you wear that EVERY day."



have you been the recipient of any random acts of kindness lately?

best.

we've been snowed in for a couple of days. so there's been lots of superman. lots of hot cocoa. lots of lentil soup. lots of super mario. lots of shoveling and lots of snuggling. pretty much the best week ever.

"normal" life

it's so awesome to have a "normal" life finally!

right now johnny and i are sitting here, listening to gansta rap on our computers. we are drinking cup after cup of french press coffee. two kids are at school and lulu is sleeping. we are sitting here on a monday, just being in each other's company, being married! it's weird and cool. john being gone for five months was whacked and hard, but also the ultimate lesson in being completely independent and self-sufficient. and the best part is that now that he's home, everything is a bonus! i can just sit back and appreciate these little moments of normalcy, when i look over and ask him what he wants for dinner, and then when dinner time rolls around we all sit around the table and eat as a family. i am so proud for johnny making the leap, changing our lives, being brave, and thinking big. even though we have the most crazy, unnormal life around, it's the closest thing we've ever come to normal and i love it!

now off to dance to rap songs about dungeon dragons!

xx

my message to the universe

or send me to bed, thank you very much.

xx

reminder to myself

dear nina,

love,
nina

well filling, fanny cheeks, and hippie perfume.

i'm totally digging the vibe of the new year! i've been painting like a mad woman (although my front porch studio is COLD!), reconnecting with friends, and filling up my well. now that johnny is home (more than ever!), i actually have time to go out to dinner with friends like sweet mama al. we were like total grownups and sat down for a real dinner and drinks WITHOUT OUR SIX CHILDREN. it was incredible. and you know you have a real friend when you can go shopping for seaweed and sponges and rub and spray every hippie perfume in the whole place on yourself. and we wondered why we were getting the stink-eye!

how random is it that my only goal for 2011 was to buy and use a french press? seriously, i've been wanting one forever and they are so cheap so the other day (after spending some time with some other friends and their precious baby boy) we went to the store and bought one, along with some yummy beans. so now it's smooth sailing for the rest of the year- no goals, nothing to do! ;) just kidding--- 2011 is going to rock the fanny cheeks, i just know it.

i am looking forward to having somewhat of a real life again- the five gilberts reunited, mama with free time. so if i haven't seen you in the past 6 months, hit me up to hang out! you know i miss you.


so what's been filling your well? do tell. xx

the important things for the new year

taking the time to notice

clearing out the old

listening

sitting still

breathing deep

meditating

perspective

creating art

voracious reading

family

sacred moments

nourishment

naked fannies.

xx

today is the day

today is my day
for comfy pants
and staying home
and bracing for the snow storm
for ripping down the tree
for ornament super gluing
for some assembly required

today is my day
for crock pot chili
and little pieces of chocolate
that add up to one big piece of chocolate
and leftover cookies
and endless cups of tea

today is my day
that i act like a post-christmas referee
and refocus
and snuggle
and rub some sleepy heads on my lap
and wait for it to get dark
so we can all go to sleep
and do it again tomorrow.

why i am the luckiest person ever

reason number one billion:

** i woke up this morning to the following email:

hello sweet mama!

just wanted to let you know that i gifted you with a year's subscription to Boho Magazine for a little holiday cheer! love you. so so much. hope you are lovin' up your man and have am amazing christmas with the fam all together!!! yay!

thank you for being such a wonderfully shiny, beautifully inspiring and deliciously yummy supporter and friend! i don't know what i'd do without you :)


WHAT? i am so lucky to be blessed with amazing friends and family. it's ridonkulous, really, how lucky one person can get. yes, i know my fair share of whackballs, but the good certainly outweighs the bad, and people like mindy certainly tip the scales in the good department. thank you for keeping my faith alive when it comes to the creative spirit and the spirit of giving! xx


also, i found out that i won this incredible giveaway at this incredible blog. if you haven't checked out the glowing temple blog or website, definitely do! i made this recipe and it was yum.


off to fill the day with gingerbread cookies, movies, popcorn, incense, and santa. xx

on mail and snoring

can we just talk for a minute about mail? for as long as i can remember, i've been a little bit of a mail whore. i love sending mail, and i love getting it. but around this time of year, my mail whoreishness gets taken to a new level- and i just about attack my poor cigarette-smoking mail lady to tear through my stack of letters (after i air them out a bit). i love holiday cards, i love seeing little smiling faces peering out of my mailbox, and love catching up with friends i haven't heard from in months. MAIL! ok, mail. i love mail.

i had fun making our christmas cards this year. i used cereal boxes and vintage wrapping paper and vintage rick rack (gifted to me from kat!). the picture of the kids is kind of blurry and not perfect- lulu is sporting pink eye and everyone is sick. but it was as good as we were going to get this year---- i was tempted to print out one of the outtakes which involved screaming, biting, and/or hitting but decided to go with the more smile-ish one.

if i have forgotten to send one to you it's because i don't have your address! so please send.

in other news, my boyfriend is back in town! i haven't written about it here but j. has been away for almost five months. so yeah, it's been a little crazytown here in gilbertland. we are in a major transition here now that daddy's home- mama's getting used to having dirty socks laying around...and the snoring! the snoring! that's one thing i'm going to have to get used to again. ;)

leaving on a jet plane

today
i am leaving
on a jet plane

it's all about
conquering fears today


and by conquering fears
i mean
i am
letting myself eat cookies for breakfast
have wine for lunch
and take lots of dramamine.

plus,
i have lots of fancy new magazines
in my little backpack
to keep me busy!


bon voyage! xx

merry pukesmas! and happy pink eye.

there are so many germs here. like mutant freakish germs that i've never encountered in my life. they are wreaking havoc on our lives. i am overtired and i am grumpy. i have done my fair share of yelling this past week and i am not proud. i have been pushed to my limits, felt completely alone, and depleted. but just when i have felt my lowest, felt that i couldn't do another sleepless night on my own, watch one of my children throw up every 15 minutes, hear screaming from a crib another minute, want to know what the universe provides?...



wait for it....



PINK EYE.



enough said.

the lesson? it can always be worse. and even the "worse" isn't all that bad when you can lounge around in jammie pants and clogs and play under the christmas tree all day.

(the sibling rivalry though? i could definitely use a break from that.)

xx

color and radness

hope your day
is

colorful

and

radical.


xx

happy pukesgiving!

i've been on an involuntary lockdown here in gilbertville since wednesday! with a very sick little gray to take care of, and regurgitated peace parmesan pasta wheels to wash off of every surface in our home (along with an exciting mix of regurgitated tuna and red velvet cupcakes- that was just wrong), mama is in desperate need of a break! there have been bright moments- like dancing to jazz christmas music, watching an insane amount of movies, some good groceries thrown in the mix (hello probiotics!), the bright lemon-yellow vintage necklace i scored yesterday for $1.59. today the kids are in a santa parade, so we'll see how that goes. hopefully nobody is projectile vomiting off the side of the float! and if they are...i'll be on the sidelines, saying "those aren't my kids!" ;) just kidding- i'll be there, with hot chocolate in hand, ready to clean up some more messes!

crossing my fingers that everyone's healthy for thanksgiving! i'm going to take about 50 spirulina tabs today and wish for the best.

living the good life

today
i purchased
my first plane ticket
and i bought one for my oldest girl gray, too
and i made my christmas cards
and i cleaned out the fridge
and i let the kids draw all over huge posterboards
and we drew some killer rainbow villages
i wiped some butts
i wiped some tears
there's homework and baths to be done.
and now i'm cooking fish
that my neighbor caught and gave to me
and i'm going to treat myself
to some wine
and a movie tonight

this is the rhythm of my day.
it's a good life.

there are certain things i love about joey

here are some of them:

* he loves to dress himself. today he is wearing almost every color in the rainbow, but has managed to make them all clash. he's wearing gym shorts over pants and snowboots and a sweatshirt with a button-up short sleeve shirt over it. and he really, truly thinks he looks amazing.

* he loves to snuggle.

* he cries every day.

* even on the days that he drives me crazy, he still cups my face in his hands during our kiss goodnight and tells me how much he loves me.

* even though i splurged and bought him an actual halloween costume at a real retail store this year (spiderman!), he insisted on wearing this undersized duck costume to our town's halloween party. his little butt had a duck wedgie and all i could think of was the scene in the movie the christmas story when ralphie comes down wearing the rabbit costume. except that joey was really into being a freaky little duck boy.


joey is special and i love every bit of him.

random love bits from me to you.

random love bits from me to you:

* i went to a conscious and creative parenting workshop last night with my local holistic moms group. i felt really inspired when i left (so inspired that i actually stayed up late drinking wine in bed and reading trashy fiction) and decided to employ some new techniques this morning. of course it lasted for about 30 seconds until all hell broke loose, all three kids crying and screaming simultaneously, resulting in joey accidentally falling down a very large flight of stairs and busting his face open. bruising, swelling, ice, more tears. all before 7am. take that conscious parenting! there's always tomorrow...

* laughing at myself recently because i noticed that i use an upside-down frisbee for my paint palette. i wonder what that says about me as an artist...

* listening to the newest corrine bailey rae album that my bestie gifted me with. also listening to the newest ani difranco album in attempts to pregame for the concert that i'm going to this weekend with my brother- also going to see melissa ferrick! very excited about this.

* i have piles of wet leaves all over my lawn to bag. but there's also a strange unknown large beast pooping all over my lawn so i'm dreading going out there and dealing with the poop/leaf combo.

* hooping class again next week. any locals interested let me know!

* full holiday mood in effect- presents wrapped, projects on the table, candles burning. haven't started listening to music yet but thanksgiving we'll start jamming to our xmas vinyl...

* peace out. xx

ridiculous quotes

daily,
i find myself
saying ridiculous things
most seriously

things like
"no, we don't eat clementines on the toilet"

and
"yes, it's completely normal for poop to smell bad"

and
"frankly, i think santa is a creep but if you're into him then that's cool."


the end.

perfectly fine.

some days
are hard

and some days
are not

but when i look at
these two pictures,
all is well with the world.

(this one doesn't hurt, either...)


xx!

two hands

there are times
like today
when i need
more than two hands

but two hands
will have to do
the trick

no matter what.

dig.

when i am
determined
to have a good day
not even the crazy lady
driving 50 mph and tailgating me in a school zone
yelling at me and chucking me the finger
can get me down

i just turn up my old
digable planets
cd
and smile.

new work

(this last one is SOLD!)

even with my little wild children running about, i've still been able to eek out creative time to work on some paintings. i just finished a new series of paintings, four of which are for sale. each one is 12" by 16" and ready to hang. i'm really into the idea of painted quilts and have been obsessed with painting them. they are layery and texturey and bright- perfect for a nursery or a funky room. convo me if you're interested and i can send you pricing- priced affordably for the holidays! xx

i just got back from the art supply store and i bought two huge canvases. i'm headed off to the painting cave for some art therapy!

black eyes and color so bright

blog posting at a minimum due to this crazy kandi kid who likes to swing from the light fixtures. there are bumps, and bruises, and black eyes. but through it all, there is color so bright it's blinding. we are all getting through, living in the moment as much as we can.

xx

escape

when the
going gets tough
(and even when it doesn't)

we
escape
into
the
forest.


where do you escape to?

days like this

some days
are really crappy
and at any given moment
someone needs their bum wiped
or someone is puking up cottage-cheese like
chocolate milk
all over the rugs
someone's crying
someone's fighting
someone lost a shoe
someone stepped in dog poop
someone's whining
someone's just being a real jerk.

on days like this
i almost go there
and have a pity party
for myself

i try hard not to
but sometimes i kind of do

sometimes
like today
i put everyone in the car
and drive through the rain
and make everyone look at the foliage
and then i go buy expensive bread and cheese
and some salad
and have a mug of tea.
sure, it's not good for the environment,
this mindless driving around,
but sometimes it's what i have to do.
and then i take pictures of the kids
in mid-flight
and i feel better.


the end. xx

real talk 2010 revisited

after writing and posting this blog post about real talk 2010, people came crawling out of the woodwork, bruised and bleeding, just itching to tell their real talk tales. i could not have imagined the stories that my friends had- just waiting to be shared. it was actually pretty life changing- the opening up, the rawness, and the connections that i felt in the aftermath of that posting. i've been marinating in the real talk over the past couple of months since that post, thinking about the stories that we all have to offer, the secrets that keep us prisoner.

i think there's something to be said for having a friend offer you an outlet to share something taboo. i think there's something healing in laying out your most raw, vulnerable, and oftentimes not-pretty tidbits, and having someone tell you that it's OK. that they do not judge you. that they too, in fact, have their own undesirable shitty things. that we all have our shit.

and let me tell you- i've learned more about my friends since june than in the whole lifetime of these friendships. it's radical. and in the opening, i have learned more about myself. i've learned about balancing the "positive talk" and the "real talk". there is something healing to be had with a good dose of real talk. it allows you to go deeper, to be more authentic.



see how i'm rambling? this is the reason why i haven't wrote this "real talk 2010 revisited" blog post until today. i still can't eloquently say what i want to say about it. but here's the bottom line- NO REGRETS about 2010 being the year of the real talk. keep layin' it on me, friends, and i'll lay it all down for you, too.


xx

my butt

lately
i have had
lots of little people
up my butt
all day long
and now that one of them
has a later bedtime
there really isn't one waking second
during the day
when i don't have someone rubbing up against me

some days i wonder
if my skin
is literally chaffing off
with all the rubbing

there are usually dried streaks
and smears
from somebody's bodily fluids
across my shirt
or skirt

there are days
when i feel
like i might go crazy
and then there are other days
when i feel like the luckiest person
in the world

to be covered in love
overwhelmed with family
to be crowded with joy
to be allowed to bear witness
to the chaos.

xx

simple rules to live by

(gray and her shadow's "peach heart" while peach picking the other day)



1. if your well is empty, fill up someone else's and yours will feel magically full again.

2. if you don't want to do something, don't do it. if you want to do something but are scared to, do it anyway.

3. if you feel like poop, surround yourself with stuff that makes you feel less like poop.

4. if you feel awesome, rub your awesomeness on someone that feels like poop.

5. get up and do it all over again tomorrow.


the end.

xx

grounded

trying my best
to stay grounded
but every day
it's work

hard work

but that is the way of life
and i am thankful
for all the teachers
in my life.