yesterday was a lesson in letting go. letting go of expectations and letting go of perfection. good enough had to be ok enough for us yesterday. we made it through.the crazy snowstorm put a wrench in joey's birthday plans, but it our little party was enough. joey was smiling, he felt special. the flakes swirled around outside and i kindly told people they should leave before it became too dangerous. we do, in fact, get together two times every week, so we will party again. joey's BFF was in the hospital, so our partners in crime weren't able to come. we worried about our baby girl, we worried about our daddy who had a five hour commute to drive 35 miles home to us .
dinner was burnt and dry. gray got kicked in the eye. i put on a grateful dead cd and pretended that i didn't stand at the sliding glass door from 2pm until 5:30pm when john came home. i kept thinking, just get him home safe. being stuck in a snowstorm is better than being in iraq so count your blessings nina beana.
sleep time was disjointed and interrupted last night. joey was scared and crying. the kids woke up at 4:30am this morning. gray lost her tv/movie privileges for today, which in effect is exactly like punishing myself. joey managed to eat a quarter of a tube of bubblegum toothpaste while i was outside cleaning off the cars. he projectile vomited bright blue bubblegum scented puke all over my van, with a side order of banana chunks.
life is not perfect or predictable. i have to let go of the expectations in order to embrace the sweetness of a bowl of m&m's waiting for me at the end of the day. i need to look past the puke to see the brightness of everything else. my family is safe. no amount of snow or shit or puke can get me down today.
