this is the newest family portrait, and it explains everything that i've wanted to write about for the past couple of weeks, but haven't. here is me, happy...so very happy. beautifully happy but feeling oh so not enough. i feel enough-enough on many days, but other days i'm stretched and pulled like taffy, left without enough energy to stay up much past 7:30pm. but when i roll in at the end of the day, i think to myself "this is enough...i've lived enough for thousands of people". every day is filled with adventures and treats and caramel. so why is it so hard for me to feel like i can keep my head above water?there are things a-brewin', i can tell you that. lots of good conversations (as good as can be expected with hyper children running rampant, i suppose) with my posse. there was even a bathtub and beer drinkin' phone conversation (the beer and bath was all me) with pixie! and if you know me you know this is a big thing because i don't do the phone. not only was pixie charming and perfect on the phone, but the conversation got me thinking about connections and women's circles and standing firm about what you believe in.
this month has been huge for me on so many levels. finally finishing up my doula training has been a big thing for me, something that i never thought i'd come around to do. it's all about the follow-through lately, and if there's a loose end dangling somewhere, i'm all about tying it up. which is also something that i don't do very well. i've been pushing the limits of comfortability, trying to force myself to do new things or have conversations that may not be easy-peasy. i also finished up my training to become a certified prenatal massage therapist (more titles!), which was another thing that i really wanted to do. it's like spring cleaning for my brain, except we're on the brink of fall (sort of). i always do much better in the fall. always have.
so here we go brain. getting ready for room for new projects, new titles to collect after my name. new people to meet and new circles to gather in. my goal for the fall (as always) is "collect good people". it's become my new mantra. when i'm feeling particularly taffy-like, i just remember how lucky i am to have such an rockin' collection already, and i've only just begun.
enough of not-enough, i say. maybe that should be the addendum to the mantra "collect good people...and you are enough, nina beana, just the way you are." wanna join in?
