love in unlikely places

lately, love has been showing up in the most unlikely of places::

in the muddy ground- a heart-shaped print of a deer

a new tooth
a cozy for my coffee
a rain-flattened leaf on my sunroof in the van

a heart-shaped carrot in my stew


it's really all around us. really. xx

bubbies

my sweet baby and my boobies have parted ways this week. it has been painful (excruciating, really, but surprisingly not as bad as baby #1 and baby #2 weaning) but also very rewarding. it pains me to admit this, but our lives have taken a turn for the better since the milkies have stopped flowing. lulu now sleeps every night from 6pm-6am. this is huge coming from a baby who LAST WEEK was up FOUR OR FIVE FREAKING TIMES TO NURSE. i'm trying not to beat myself up to badly about stopping nursing when she's only shy of nine months. i nursed gray and joey for 14 months (random, i know) and eight months seems so young. plus, i like burning all those extra calories! but why continue on the path if it's making everyone miserable, right? lulu (who is usually the happiest baby in the world) is now even happier, if that's possible. i'm getting a full night sleep, which is weirdly awesome. we've switched bedrooms (which was a transition) and i'm pretty sure our lives will be much easier from here on in. and the boob situation is getting better (after a full week of not nursing), and now i can actually go out into public without looking completely obscene (don't ask me about having to work on monday- day two of weaning. massage and engorgement do NOT mix, let me tell you).

so this is why i've been quiet this week. and crazy. really crazy actually- my hormones must be out of whack. but i'm looking forward to the weekend...and looking forward to my thoughts being able to focus on something else BESIDES BOOBS AND MILK. even this mushroom picture reminds me of "bubbies", but that doesn't surprise you, does it?

sale!

a wee sale in the shop today, just because. jump for joy! xx

who's your person?

when you are feeling
lost
overwhelmed
alone
totally bummed out-
there is someone out there
waiting.

maybe you feel
like nobody listens
when you talk
that you are alone
on your journey
that people around you
may take and take and take
and never take a minute
to check in with you
give back
take care of you

but i promise you

i really really promise you

that there is someone out there
that feels
exactly the same way
that you're feeling
and all you need to do
is find that person
sit down with them
take a deep breath
stay in each others' company
maybe have a sip or two of coffee
listen to the words you each
have to offer
commiserate
crack open for a while
it may feel icky at first
but before you know it
you will feel all those craptastic feelings
you were feeling minutes before
melt away
(they'll feel better too)

you will be left feeling lighter
more secure
lifted up
tender
but confident
that you can
do it all again
for another day.
suddenly
you will find yourself
focusing on everything good
around you
when moments before
all you could see
was bad.
this will feel freeing
and you will
conquer the world
thanks to this new freedom.

go ahead.
go now.
go find your person.

xx

these faces

waking up at 4am and seeing this little face makes it a little bit more manageable

and these faces following shortly after just sweeten the deal.

xx

fall

the fall in new england is my medicine. throw what you will at me, universe, and i'm still gonna come out on top...thanks to sweet, sweet fall.

xx

(picture by johnny- notice the jeans. four people in one day said to me "i think it's time for new jeans". best part is that two of these people were my favorite three year old boys, which just made it so freakin' awesome.)

sustaining

(joey's portrait of mama)

there are lots of simple things
that make me happy::
a good cup of coffee
even a bad cup of coffee
eating with friends
being snuggled by babes
laughing on the couch
putting ponytails
in my daughter's hair
the tops of cupcakes
the silence when the kids go to bed
reading in bed
the sound of my neighbor's fountain
pumpkin-scented candles
a walk in the woods
an apple cider donut
with a pumpkin whoopie pie on the side
watching my friends' bellies grow
watching my friends' babies grow
carving out time to create things
the sound of the wind while i sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep.

what is sustaining you today?

scarecrow dorks

this is what we do when we go to the apple orchard. we act like scarecrow dorks.

and then take pictures.



in other news, i got my act together and posted some new things in the shop. xx

10 quick things before bed.

1. this is a little glimpse of my table at squam. it was a huge leap for me since i've never done anything like it in my life. i was encouraged by pixie and we shared a table and lots of magic happened as a result. i'm so glad i took the plunge and did it. pix, i wouldn't have done it without you.

2. i am lucky because i know so so many inspiring people. jenica is one of those people. i am certain we will be friends when we are old and gray.

3. my favorite kinds of gifts come from little people. i heart when little people make me art. it fills me up.

4. i like hot chocolate dates. especially in the fall. especially with this guy.

5. i like when babies have blue painted toenails. i especially like it if they have grass stuck between their toes.

6. i like how sometimes my baby looks like a fake baby doll.

7. i like pumpkins. and hay. and homemade applesauce in the crockpot.

8. i like how i have a clone. and i like when she's smiley and happy.

9. i like when my kids hold hands in the car and it's not staged by me. it's just happening behind me. because they are in love.

10. i like roadtrips.
but then i like to come home.

shop updates

lots of post-squam shop updates this week! priced to sell, so spread the love! xx

loud

while having lunch with friends yesterday, we got to talking about chaos and life and i mentioned offhandedly that i "run a pretty tight ship" and that" i like order", and the kids go to bed early every night, blah blah blah. but right around 4pm yesterday afternoon, i ate all of those words as the day came crashing down around me.

the kids were completely off the wall, screaming, running around half naked, beating each other with random instruments. the noise level was insane. i was attempting to entertain guests and there were drinks spilled and my friend kevin put his hands over his ears and started rocking back and forth saying how loud it was. he was promptly mounted by three screaming kids who farted in his face and spilled a full beer all over him and my floor. of course, after these words about the loudness escaped his lips, the loud factor increased exponentially- even during a game of chess. i had no real snacks to feed my friends, so we ate kid snacks like cheese cracker sandwiches and pretzels and popcorn. i had to buy takeout for dinner because i couldn't get my act together to cook a real meal for everyone. someone needed to be thrown in the bath, and then an elaborate plan for scaring said person in bath was hatched which may have involved climbing through the bathroom window. there may or may not have been a slapping fight. and homework to be done. and everyone was nibbling on the kids' dinner of macaroni and cheese from a box, for the fifth day in a row. and lulu was creeping along the furniture begging to be let in on the action and hoping not to be trampled in the process.

i looked around at what was my life and realized that yes, while my kids do go to bed at 6pm- i do NOT in fact run a tight ship. my life is filled with chaos. and my life is freaking L.O.U.D.

so while my pictures and words may be bright and cheery, just know that i never, EVER write a blog post any time between 4pm and 6pm.

i feel.

i feel a bit conflicted.
because i'm feeling a bit
beat up
worn out
bags-under-my-eyes
totally sleep deprived
up all night
abused by the kids
gray is being tough
having problems on the bus
and taking it out on mama
and i'm feeling like poo.
i'm done at 6pm every night
and feel like i don't have
an extra ounce
to give
right now.

but on the other hand,
i feel completely lifted up
by life right now
and so blessed
because every.day. (no exceptions)
there are people in and out
visitors
calls
friends who will watch vampire shows with me
and lay out quilts with toys for the baby to play with
people who eat my hastily-prepared food
and say it's good
people who eat double desserts with me
friends to visit with
from across the county
surprise beer drop-offs
and friends who stop in
just for a half hour
to catch up
friends who stop over
to poop in my toilet

the best compliment ever

so
many
good
things

that i realize

you know what?
i have
just
enough
to keep going

there's just too much good out there
for the taking.

moment captured.

a day in the life.

wish i could bottle the joy on gray's face.

i am not really sure.

i am not really sure
how it is possible
that i manage
to be surrounded

consistently

by the coolest people on the planet

every.
single.
day.

people
big and small
that make me laugh
feed my soul
refill my cup
make me dinner when i am tired
stop by unannounced and
make me smile
even when i don't feel like it
wear wigs with me
dance to the b-52's with me
love me in period-stained jammies
and love me in gold high heels.

i
am
one
lucky
mama.

giveaway!

head on over to my dear friend jenica's spot for a nina beana giveaway! i've been making these little woobies out of vintage chenille and i'm totally in love with them. hope you are, too! plus some notecards, postcards, and fun scappie pack, too! brittany is also having a giveaway there! it's a complete lovefest, i tell you.

please enter!

squam prep fyi

i just got my new mini business cards for my creative business in the mail in preparation for squam. swoon! i went with the company myminicards.com and i was really happy with the ease of the site and the speediness of the delivery. the colors are bright and the shipping was free! plus, it's always fun to see your name on paper. makes a girl feel special.

FIVE DOLLAR sale in the whole self shop

record bowls as hats? hum....

feeling kind of kooky today and want to clean out the shop before squam and in honor of the new fall season approaching. head on over and see what's left for FIVE DOLLARS. yes loves, i love fall that.much.

check it out- wishmamas!

if you have a minute or two, click over to the wish studio to read/watch my piece, wishmamas: the ultimate lesson in letting it all go. thanks!

there are.

there are moments
that are so heartbreakingly pure
that i'm pretty sure
my heart
will stop

and i look around
and wonder
how on earth
so much love
can fit into one life?

i bottle up
these moments
and save them
for when i need them most

like yesterday
when my new van broke down
60 miles away from home
and we all had to squish into
a tow truck
with a flatbed on the back,
my broken vehicle
coming along for the ride

but i looked around
at my children sandwiched around me
and my husband sitting next to
the vibrating stick shift
and i just took out my camera
and started taking pictures


and laughing.

and it was enough.

things to do when it's 100 degrees and you have no air conditioning, part 1.

dress up like a viking and put on an opera show for your guests.

(and the fact that i'm posting these pictures just goes to show you how much i.love.you.)