squam eye candy

i am so lucky to be able to travel up to squam and immerse myself in all the beauty it has to offer, sometimes twice a year.  this year i went up with mindy and helped elizabeth out with registration and a VIP party, but also had some time to sit on the dock for some real talk and a nice deep breath.  i am grateful to my family for watching my children and my dog.  i am grateful that i live in such a beautiful state that nourishes me in the most primal of ways.

trees.

water.

sun.

life.

love.

i really needed that recharge.  badly!

weekend love

this chilly quiet weekend
holds so much promise
so many cups of steaming tea
snuggles on the couch
books waiting to be read out loud
tournaments cancelled
trips to be made
the start to something amazing

signs from the rainbow

this morning, when i went into the city for my final ultrasound before the embryo transfer, it was beautiful and sunny.  the ultrasound itself was nothing but fantastic news---everything is set to proceed as planned!  when i came out, it was raining, and a full rainbow was stretching across the city, from one end to the other.  it was unreal...surreal...and utterly perfect.  i'm taking it as a sign for good things to come.

(i wish i had a picture but i was hydroplaning all over the road and didn't want to risk it!  i will never forget it, though.  did anyone else out there see it?)

rules for this week

*a special lunch with my girl on the deck in the sun*

1.  trust in the process
2.  don't worry so much about your belly fat
3.  go outside as much as possible
4.  take a nap if you want to
5.  make little things special

guidebook for the weekend

1.  get outside
2.  don't be a jerk
3.  love the people around you
4.  eat what makes you feel good
5.  really listen when people talk to you

the end.

ps, if there's time, maybe eat a s'more, or two.  xoxo

rabbit hole of life

i disappeared again, down the rabbit hole of kids and parties and the hustle and bustle of everyday life.  when i run into friends and they ask what i've been up to, i find myself saying "nothing much".  because really, how can i fit it all in, every snuggle, every candle blown out on the cake, every day we laid out in the sun on the grass?  there's nothing, and so much, rolled into one.

the weeks are flying by.  the kids are getting old.  there are stellar report cards, the littlest one learned to ride her bike without training wheels, there is a lot of talk of boyfriends.  there have been trips into the city for doctor's appointments, lots of time spent sending good energy to my lady parts, hoping for the best.  softball has started.  school vacation.  real talk with girlfriends.  watching the kids on the beach and thinking i might cry because it was so beautiful.  tears and hugging.  tragedy close to home in boston , a week of fear and terror.  picking up the kids early from school just because i wanted them to be home with me.  a gathering around a table for dinner with the four people that i love most in this world, laughing.

there have been packages, filled with honey from the desert and necklaces and love.  unexpected beauty in my mailbox---colorful wraps for my head.  scrubs for my body.  friends dropping off bags of clothes for me.  love from my friends far and wide.  i am lucky to have the best family and friends supporting me.  i truly am riding on the high of having a supportive tribe lifting us up every day.

it's not always 'shiny happy people holding hands'.  sometimes the kids hit each other with brooms, and the dog poops on the carpet, there are blood engorged ticks everywhere.  i gained five pounds and don't fit into my jeans.  but at the end of the day, everyone here is safe in their beds, and there's nothing shinier than that.

there's something broken in there!

i will admit, i don't have a great track record when it comes to my kids and broken bones.  gray tripped and fell and broke her collarbone when she was in preschool, and i think it took me about 3 or 4 days to take her in to the doctor.  and her collarbone was literally SNAPPED IN HALF.  lulu jumped out of her crib when she was two and i'm pretty sure it took me just as long (if not longer) to take her in, only to find out that not only had she broken her foot, but there was an older, HEALING fracture in her lower leg (from some other mysterious injury). and then they casted THE WRONG LEG and it took me SIX WHOLE DAYS TO FIGURE THAT OUT and take her back so they could saw the thing off and put it on the right side.

so yeah, i am not kidding when i say that i really do suck when it comes to handling broken bones. 

which is why, this weekend, when joey fell off his scooter and immediately declared "THERE'S SOMETHING BROKEN IN THERE!" while pointing at his wrist, i figured it was my chance as a parent to redeem myself.

and i finally did!

the poor kid was such a trooper.  and it really was broken!  and we went to the ER on day 1 of the injury!   but i lost major parenting points because he didn't have his helmet on. 

can't win them all! 

but there is literally never a dull moment in our household.  just when i have the audacity to start thinking that life is kind of boring, something like happens and shakes up our world.  the best lesson we learned this weekend?  don't let stuff slow you down.  before we got in the car to go to the ER, i made sure to load up the car with the wine and crudites and cupcakes for all the parties we were going to that day.  and we still went to all FOUR of them over easter weekend.  and had one of the greatest weekends ever!