today.

today i leave on an adventure. wearing my old boots, the same old nina beana, conquering some of my biggest fears (flying, being away from my kids). i like jumping out of my routine, only to come back renewed and more grateful for the rhythm of my everyday. this afternoon i will dip my toes into the ocean and swim in a pool outside and order a fancy meal and have a couple of delicious adult drinks. i'll walk on the sand under the big glorious moon. i have my husband to thank (and an awesome friend who was the planner extraordinaire) for gifting me this adventure for mother's day, just so i can have a little r&r.

it will be a chance to let my beastly hair down.

so off i go! goodbye dear ones. maybe i will sleep on the plane considering i missed four hours of sleep last night due to lulu's random crying episodes.

and here's an offering from joey, always reminding me to see the beauty in the most everyday of things. xx

highlights

i live a charmed life, that's for sure, but no more charmed than anyone else's. i just try to approach each day as a gift, focusing on the 'everyday amazing'. how fitting then, when a friend gifted me a cup of this tea:

these past weeks have flown by. we're coming off a week of school vacation, which was surprisingly pleasant, jam-packed, and flew by. there were many highlights- too many to list here. but here were some of my favorites--


delicious vegetarian meals with one of my bestest friends from far away

taking the kids on a beautiful earth day walk and picking up lots and lots of trash and then sorting through it. they were so proud of themselves!

homemade playdough with friends

busking for cash on the side of the road (upturned hats and all!)

hippie tea date with my girl

new art journals and mandala drawing (and little helpers!)

a few tears to keep the happiness in check

field hockey and gray wearing lulu's legwarmers as her shin guard covers

lots and lots of gathering with friends

a little bit of crafting thrown in for good measure

some quiet time reading and holding steaming cups of tea


little blue eyes (six of them) peering at me constantly, reminding me why i do what i do

headwraps!

i'm headed off on an adventure to miami tomorrow for the weekend. yes, i will be wearing a bathing suit. yes, i will be dipping my toes in the ocean. and yes, i will probably be the only freak with a suitcase full of feminist lit and magazines. have a beautiful weekend! xx

why i love my local coffee shop/farmstand

most days around here have the same rhythm- drop off gray at the bus, get our coffee mugs, and then a trip to our local coffee shop/farmstand/apple orchard. you see- they have this beautiful thing- you can buy a reusable coffee mug for cheap (20$) and then you can go and get coffee five million times a day if you want, for the rest of your life. and tea! and now they have raw unprocessed honey. this makes mama happy, and also makes for a happy four year old coffee-drinkin' joey. joey received his own mug from puppa for christmas, and now holds the title as the youngest member of the coffee club.

so on most days, you'll find joey and i (and lulu in the backpack- which i'm finding is quite controversial- people either think it's fantastic or have very not-nice opinions about it, which they aren't afraid to share!) toting our mugs into the farmstand, where joey loads up on half decaf half milk (hey! i pick my battles! the kid likes coffee. i promise decaf won't kill him) and mama loads up on her beverage of choice. my favorite part of our adventure is that it imparts this really great feeling of community for us- everyone knows us by name, and we stop and talk to our produce peeps, and our checkout peeps, and on any given day i run into a friend, oftentimes one of my BFF's, and we get to sit and have coffee. and when i'm done i load up on apples, avocados, stuff for salads, cage free local eggs, cider, and milk. yes, it is a luxury, but one that i never take for granted. my children know where their food comes from- they know the people who work to make it possible. they know the names of most vegetables. they also know the sweet rush of morning coffee and the taste of an occasional apple cider donut.

in my mind every day (and out loud, too), i thank john for working his tail off so i can be there for my kids in this special way.

i can't help but wonder what our lives would be like without this little ritual that has become so important for us. i'm so glad a place like this exists in my community. and this is why i am so grateful for you, dear coffee shop.

little lulu

so my little lulu is one of the main reasons why my blogging has been severely lacking lately. as you can see, she's my first climber...she likes to get on top of anything, oftentimes just intentionally plunging off the edge of furniture just to see who's on their toes, and who's around to catch her. she manages to get up onto the dining room table, on top of the tv cabinet, and she also likes to throw around my prized vinyl records like frisbees. needless to say, my computer time is pretty limited.

she is the most confident, self assured child i have ever met. when she puts her mind to something, she just does it with ease. those beautiful diamond screw-back earrings that my girlfriends bought her? the ones that are supposed to be impossible to take out? it took her only a couple of hours before she managed to yank them out of her head. she takes off her shoes and socks and hides them so we can put them on. she climbs behind the couch. when i'm in my craft room sewing, she unplugs my sewing machine to get my attention. she eats the tops off of markers.

i am tempted to say that some days with lulu are hard. but really, they are just intense- focused- and energy zapping. there is little downtime. she will leave no crayons uneaten. she will find the most dangerous thing and put her finger in it. at the end of the day, i fall into bed exhausted. but i know that all this is temporary, and sometime very soon, i will look at her and wonder what happened to my little baby toddling around, conquering the world.

next, she'll be eight and trying to get a tattoo (which would actually be pretty cool).

it's the little things

finding self portraits taken by little people and left on my camera for me to find later. i especially love this one of joey taken in the door handle

wearing crazy colorful headbands out in public because it's spring

love notes from gray


sun flares

craft supplies and pussy willows

colorful jewelies in my bathroom

a new plant- a handmade necklace from joey

messages around town

these three little faces peeking

being outside. finally.

dove love

this is my newest painting, which was commissioned by my friends for E's nursery. i loved the idea that they had- they bought four matching ready-to-hang canvases, and mailed them out to four of their artist friends. each one of us received a package with the blank canvas and some scraps of fabric that they used around the nursery. the fabric scraps were black, hot pink, greens, and blues. i also loved how they didn't know if they were having a boy or a girl, but decorated the nursery however they felt like, using bright pops of color.

each artist also got an animal to base the painting around. i had already elbowed my way into getting a dove, mainly because i'm elbow-deep in dove imagery as i design my new tattoo. historically, the dove symbolizes innocence, gentleness, faith, and peace. i love the idea of the dove's presence in a baby's nursery, a subtle reminder of everything that is childhood.

i decided to use the actual fabric pieces in my work, and cut them into heart shapes, coming out of the dove's mouth. the dove itself is cut from a piece of vintage wrapping paper featuring ice cream cones for a bit of whimsy.

i'm really happy with way it came out, and was even happier when i was able to go to the hospital the day after E was born and gift it to the mamas. i wrapped the finished painting in a little mini quilt/changing pad that i sewed one of my baby blankets from when i was little inside as the lining.


spring is a busy busy time, and i love every minute of it. you should see my craft space right now- total trainwreck goodness!

and just as an FYI, my paintings and photographs are going to be hanging in a local coffee shop for the month of may. i'm also going to be having an "opening," so stay tuned for details! i'd love to see some of you over some good coffee.
xx

be the blog that you want to read

(me, post birth- raw and changed)

sometimes i get a little clicky and start looking around the interwebs for inspiration. the blogs i generally read involve crafting, motherhood, living lightly on the earth, nomadic living, raw foods, and food in general. i go through these spurts where i'll really immerse myself in the journeys of others and get inspired and start making my own adventures. and then other times, i find myself clicking and clicking and not finding exactly what i want, and then i'll walk away from my computer experience feeling drained and less creative than when i started out.

and then it hit me- hit me like a ton of bricks- just be the blog that you want to read.

go out and create what you need for yourself.

sounds simple, but it really seemed life changing at the moment.

want to read about something awesome? how about instead you turn off the computer and actually go do it yourself? duh, nina!

lightbulb moment.



in other news, i'm in recovery mode from one of the most life changing experiences of my life, the birth of some of my best friends' baby. although i've been blessed to witness the journey of many babes into this world, there was something very cathartic about this particular birth that i've yet to put my finger on. maybe it was the length- and the skipping of a full night sleep- or the general deprivation that my body went through (call it the 'doula diet' if you will)- or the raw beauty of what it takes to bring a baby into the world, but i knew walking away from the experience that i will never be the same. there was something so enriching about seeing this particular babe being born (i'm auntie nina beana!) that i can't write about it articulately at this point. all i know is this: i am eternally grateful to be part of this charmed life.

ten things

ten things i love:

1. my new purple front door
2. grass green shoes
3. finishing a quilt for a dear friend
4. having lunch with a like-minded mama and letting the kids run wild
5. lulu wearing tie-dye
6. upcoming earth day plans
7. finally getting a physical after four years
8. another friend's yummy sangria last night
9. waiting to rush to the hospital for my friends' baby's arrival
10. john gifting me a trip to miami at the end of april so i can get away and read without three small people screaming in my face.

xx

loving and learning

* loving the springlike weather we had here last week. the kids played outside, wore flip-flops, got dirty, i painted almost every available surface outside our house bright purple, we had picnics, we went to the ocean and let the baby run around, i sported a new patchouli deodorant that we've dubbed the "odorant". life is good.

* loving our new way of eating. although there have been continual FAILS when it comes to cooking. johnny is still being very patient and eating most of what i place in front of him at the end of his long day. there is only so much beans and eggs you can feed him though- last week, he hit his breaking point and said "what are we having tonight, more tofu?" (note: he doesn't even eat tofu- i know not to cross the line). i have lost seven pounds in a very short time without even trying (i finally hit my this-is-what-i-weighed-when-i-got-pregnant-with-lulu-weight, a number i had given up hope ever seeing on the scale again), lost all the nasty bloating in my tummy, and my skin feels glowy. i finally feel like i'm eating the way i was meant to eat. so happy.

* going on day two of being stuck in the house. gray is home again today with the remnants of sickness. so wasn't it a good good thing when i went to go out and get the mail yesterday and there was a card from a friend with a healing pack of herbs in it, tied up pretty. i slipped the packet into gray's shirt and told them to hold it close to her heart. as she sweat through the last hours of her fever, she said "mum, these herbs really worked". so thank you pix.

* also receiving a beautiful blank canvas in the mail yesterday from some other friends who are expecting their first baby any day now. i'm carrying my phone around with me, waiting anxiously for the call, as auntie nina beana will be present at the birth! but i get to paint the canvas (along with some other artists) for the baby's nursery. i feel so honored to take part in this creative adventure! i was working on my canvas at 6am this morning, sending good vibes out to baby-still-in-utero.

that's about it. back to listening to chant music, hoping the kids will get the message and chill out. so far...not working so much. wishful thinking! xx

sugar shacks and poop manicures

this weekend, despite the massive flooding and swimming potential in our basement, we decided to get out and check off one of our to-do's for 2010! we've all been dying to go to a real sugar shack and see the whole maple syrup process. i did some searching and found that we actually have a small place pretty close by, and since the season is so short, we jumped on the chance. after a brief detour (classic nina beana style, i mapquested the wrong street and the wrong town), we arrived and were greeted by a really chill old sugar dude who walked us through the whole process. the kids were into tasting all the different stages, and i was into marvelling his poop manicure (we coined this term...it's kind of like a french manicure but it's what happens naturally after wiping your bum for 100 years and not washing your hands. yes, he had a poop manicure, but we definitely loved him anyway and still bought some delicious syrup!). it still amazes me that it takes 40 gallons of sap to make one gallon of maple syrup. going and seeing how it was done made me appreciate the process and not mind shelling out the big bucks (compared to the market basket imitation syrup) for some quality medium amber syrup.


of course, since this is our favorite family song, there was lots of singing involved:

the things i've been telling myself lately

dear nina,

nobody is going to do it for you.
nobody but you.

if you want to make a change,
you better just make it happen for yourself.
please don't wait around
and wait for someone
to come around
and start making the magic happen.

nobody is going to book that
fabulous tattoo appointment for you
nobody is going to change the way you grocery shop
or completely revamp the products you choose to buy
or choose to dress differently
or shop at different places that make you feel good.
nobody will be as excited about the things you feel excited about.
i promise you that.

nobody, nina.

so you better just start doing it yourself.

if you want it bad enough,
just do it.
shave your head or grow it out
buy new things that make you feel good
eat a new way that feels different, uncomfortable, but amazing
stick up for yourself
dream bigger

because if you don't

seriously, it won't ever happen.

ps, i love you. xx

fun anyway

today i'm trying
to stay focused
on the fun

even though
the day
started at 4:ooam
followed by tears
from everyone
except johnny
and then there was all that broken glass
that i just finished sweeping up
and my shirt smells
kind of moldy
because i left it wet in the washing machine
for too long
but i'm wearing it anyway
because it's all that clean
so i guess i'm using the term "clean"
pretty lightly here

but today
will be fun
and pretty awesome anyway
if i have anything do to with it.

xx

wishstudio and artful blogging love

so it's completely normal to pull out a sharpie and make your friend sign your magazine while out to lunch, saying "you're famous! you're SO FAMOUS!" quite loudly in a crowded whole foods, right?

right?

i'm blessed to call mindy from wishstudio a friend. and while we don't see each other every week, or even every month, when we do see each other, it's my medicine. she leaves me feeling inspired and creative and itching to do something big. i love her. and i love what's she's done with the wishstudio. over the past years, i've seen it grow from a physical studio space to a virtual, connection-overflowing space that bloggers gravitate to. it's pretty awesome.

which brings me to...the latest issue of "artful blogging" magazine. the one that mindy has a four page article in! see there on the cover where it says "from the wishstudio"? well, this is the big issue that we've been waiting for. AND it's the one that my.first.published.photograph.is.in.!


it's on newstands now! or you can read more about it here. johnny got me a copy at borders when our electricity was out so i could have something to snuggle up with. seeing my photograph in print (my feet!) makes me feel special. and my feelings about mindy's accomplishment just send me over the edge. so if you're at the bookstore, pick up a copy (or look at mine) and check it out!

cleaning house

really changing things up here in nina beanaland.

and it feels good.

tempted to give away most of my stuff. i've been going through drawers and stacks like a madwoman, and i just want to get rid of stuff. stuff holds me down and makes me feel stuck. maybe it's the spring, or maybe it's reading all about the families doing the RV thing, but i've got a serious case of housekeeping going on.

i'm also tempted to get rid of most of my clothes. like even the stuff that i'm keeping just in case 1. i get smaller or 2. i get bigger. because i figure if those things happen, i can always just find new clothes at that point. i'm always on the search for better fitting/happier-making clothes...one of my most favorite things in the world is getting bags of clothes from friends (thanks steph and melissa!) and going through and picking out the things that speak to me. and then passing everything else on to other friends. there isn't a day that goes by when i'm not wearing one item that someone has lovingly passed on to me. like today's outfit features pants from a dear blogging friend teri, a tank top from nicole, and a shirt from melissa. these things make me happy. (so when i say i want to get rid of my clothes...please still keep the hand-me-downs coming! ;)

i'm amazed at how little stuff we use on a day-to-day basis. we surround ourselves with all this "stuff" to make ourselves comfortable...stacks and stacks of books, and baskets of toys, and lots of clothes and dishes and etc. etc., but we hardly use any of them. i'm tempted to just go through the house and purge purge purge. i wish i could have a yard sale (just.can't.do.it. it's one of my major hangups) because i can't be bothered lugging load after load of stuff out of here. wish someone would come and pick it all up off my front lawn. now there's a thought...maybe a freesale when spring rolls around?

anyone want some stuff?

back in business

we had some crazy weather here over the weekend. well, actually, it was last thursday night that the weather came through. and by crazy i mean some serious winds that ripped off parts of my neighbor's roof and siding, fences, and then tore down a giant old pine tree, and with it, all of our electric lines. so we had no power for a couple of days. everyone rallied and took care of us- feeding us, letting the kids sleep over, letting me take a shower after two days without. we gathered around the fireplace at my dad's, feeling grateful for having family close by. the kids thought it was an adventure, and got to eat mcdonalds takeout as a 'special treat'. we cleaned out the fridge and trucked a couple hundred dollars worth of groceries to my mother in law's house so it didn't go to waste. and i actually got to clean.the.fridge.! like clean clean, with a scrubby sponge and stuff. who knew that the shelves and pieces of the fridge actually come out! it was a whole new world to me. and after six years of living here, you'd think it was about time.

and johnny and i stayed at the cold house one night, taking out all the candles and lighting them. it was kind of nice, reading in bed with candles in the cold, knowing the kids were safe. i refused to let the loss of heat and electric get me down. it really made me stop and think about how blessed we are- and it made me think about all the people living without heat/shelter/food every day of their lives. and the earthquake victims. etc. etc. i made a promise to myself that i would stay centered and focused on all that we have in our lives, especially a kick ass family ready to take in three wild, grubby kids and two unshowered parents.

so we're home, back in business, warm again. the fridge is clean. and i have a renewed appreciation for my morning shower.

xx