crankypants

little man's happy face...trying to focus and post something good...

"focus, mumma, focus!" -grace's new favorite thing to say to me

i'm a complete crankypants today but trying to combat it by making quilts, wrapping christmas presents, committing random acts of kindness (buying diana gabaldon's new book for my mother-in-law and dropping it off only to watch her cry hysterically with happiness)- i think i'm getting sick (hard time breathing, running/stuffy nose, freezing cold/burning hot, sore throat, need i go on?) but i'm trying to do mind over matter. doing crafts with grace like they're going out of style...we're both covered in pink glitter and magic marker. grace and i shared a caramel apple cider today with extra whipped cream (also shared germs, but there's no preventing that) and bought yummy organic foods for an indian shrimp fest tonight at the gilbert house. i'm going to kick this cold if it's the last thing i do.

xo

glad to hear you're feeling better, em!

my necklace, courtesy of grace-

"...Calamity happens so we can understand caring." -Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni from Queen of Dreams

em, i'm not sure how much i believe this quote...i'd like to...but maybe it will help you as you get over your pukies and sickies, and get showered with love by your wonderful husband. thinking of you!

early self portrait tuesday, and a bit more

here's a picture of me mocking grace, not one of the most exemplary motherly moments, but a moment all the same. what you can't see in this picture is little graciegirl's face...she's throwing a tantrum, again. it's one of her new things...when she can't get what she wants...ie, playing teletubbies on the computer (hi, can we all agree that it's strange a two year old can work a mouse?!?) or using the digital camera for hours on end...she melts down. i'm not used to it, i'm trying to be patient, trying to end it before it gets out of control. it's pretty tough to watch your own child navigate unattractive emotions, but i know that they're hers to have, and i have to let her work through them. i know she doesn't like acting this way, and she always seems to feel quite bad afterwards, apologizing profusely. so in the meantime i'm rolling with it and trying to get through the day.

wonderful things today:

conversation with dad, cleaning the carseat and getting it ready for babyjoey

eating sausage soup (dad's) and buttery grilled cheese on country white bread with ketchup and mustard

homemade jelly (thanks jess!) and borrowed clothes and good company (thanks jess and collin!)

long talks with denny, watching him grow into an almost-thirty year old married man and loving him more each time i see him, even though he's a complete raving lunatic and kept grace from having a peaceful nap

two cups of decaf green tea with honey (are preggos supposed to eat honey?!? i always forget!)

homemade meatballs (mine!) on the stove...almost time for dinner!

thanks to everyone for all the great comments and checking in...it makes me feel sane, normal, and connected to hear from you-

xo

weekendlove

fleeciegrace

love today, love yesterday...long days with nothing to do...
pot roast being made by husband, soon to be put in the oven and then my belly
grace napping right now
boo on his way
pumpkins and apple cider donuts and wind and hot apple cider at the farm this morning
family grocery trip and cleaning out the fridge
getting stung by a wasp (or bee?) for the first time since i was a kid...hand swelled and aching in my bones still, hours later
burritos and gingerale
magazines and libraries
recipes and snugglies

i love the weekend

grateful

grace's self portrait of her little naked legs while she sits at the table...love that you can still see the remaining roll lines around her ankles, even though the rolls are long-gone-

grateful today for:
mini-date night last night with john...eating soup, drinking hot chocolate, catching up

part-two date night with grace, all sharing a cup of tea at bookstore, coloring with sharpies with grace in her new fairy book-

rainy day today and going to bank yard sale with grace, and thrifted pants for joey and sandra bonyton books for both kids

layers

grace napping

homemade pancakes (thanks johnny!) for breakfast and then scalp massages-

long days with no plans

maybe going to the library later with johnny and grace just for something to do-

new socks

no hospital visits today

my nurse practitioner who called grace (and i!) gorgeous, even though she was buttering us up, and she noticed that we had on the same danskos!

homemade pumpkin bread, and yes, i ate the whole loaf-

the fact that i have the crazy ability to gain 10 pounds in three weeks (see above)

thoughts of upcoming shower get-together, seeing friends and family

next weekend's girl dinner get-together...i miss everyone

writers that write about india

david sedaris's novel-

the fact that i saw that one of my favorite authors (david eggers) has a new book out...must read asap-

off to eat bad fish and chips, but i'm starving! and i need some way to wash down my peanut butter cup :)

xo

magic

grace took this picture of my hand during one of our fairyhouse building adventures, and i love it, because it looks magical, like i'm offering her some sort of power.

today was quite a waste except for the morning playdate with cassidy and elizabeth. sciatic pain is a real pain, let me tell you. saved up my energy for tonight...about to put on red velvet pants and go out somewhere with the fam.

xo

more weekend goodness-

johnnyboy at the maine diner...check out the chowdah-

looking for edible herbs in the back-alleys of portsmouth, nh...just like jamie oliver. "just give these a rinse in some water and the piss'll come right off!"

graffiti that looks very similar to my husband...

we found razzles on our search...but they just didn't taste like we remembered! so so gross...they made a big wad of brownpoop in our mouths.

johnny's first bite of his razzle...yuck!

we were so shocked to find razzles (after seeing a random show on the food network about them, we vowed to find them on our "vacation"...) we were even more shocked to find that the teenager working behind the counter could not count change back to us. john needed milk for a bad case of heartburn.

john examining old typewriters. he got a laugh out of the ad that read "portable!" he remarked on how funny it would be busting out the typewriter in borders cafe.
johnny surprised me with a new cd (a rare thing in our family) and some politically incorrect and scarily-white-and-toxic pumpkin seeds.

my yum hot chocolate-

the start of our trip-

(so excited about the prospects of another weekend coming up, that i thought i should post more pics from this past weekend-)

fun fun face

me as a guy
johnny west asian
johnny apeman
johnny el greco


john east asian


so i'm watching grace watch weebleville for the 1,000th time, trying to get through contractions and leg pain that i can't even explain in words, so i decided to have some fun with our faces, and here are the results. i think me as a man might just be the scariest/most hilarious thing i've ever seen, and i got quite a laugh out of eastasianjohnny, too.

anyway, i've been working on changing perspective/getting out of routines lately, and i'm finding it to be really enlightening. for example, we go to the library almost every day, but lately i've started parking in a completely different spot, which allows us to walk through a bit of forest and pick up acorns/pinecones-
and thinking outside the box as far as cooking (although we're probably having frozen pizza tonight)-
the whole fairyhouse thing has really helped, too...grace looks everywhere for things to add to her little hideouts for the fairies-

this website isn't something i'd usually visit but i have to admit it gave me quite a laugh, especially considering the tender place i hold in my heart for he-man (i used to watch him and the thundercats every day afterschool at my grammie vicki's house)-
he-man does the four non-blondes

plus, it helped me reclaim the song back from stupid ex

weekend crafty

femiknit
is a genius knitter and wonderful gift giver and friend
thank you thank you thank you for taking care of us this weekend
eating pastries and teaching my husband to knit
and thank you most of all for the gorgeous sweater and little cap that joey will wear home from the hospital
it is by far one of the most extravagant and fantastic gifts i've ever received! what a joy to have such crafty friends (em! i still stroke your quilt numerous times a day!)

i loved watching the littleones making a huge pile of fleece (all on their own, making up games and names when left up to their own devices)...speaking in their own language to each other...saying "jumpity jump!" over and over, and managing not to get hurt-

more details to come on the rest of the weekend, which was spent partly in the hospital (grace's dislocated elbow) and doctor's office (grace's urinary tract infection due to evil evil evil purple seasame street bubble bath). anyone that finds me a hypoallergenic bubbly (i mean real bubbles...grace has high expectations...) bubble bath that doesn't make beegines swell up gets the prize.

self portrait tuesday

taken on sunday during our "vacation"...more to come later, but in the meantime, let's just say that it was one of the best days i've had in a long time. love the moth-eaten-hole in john's sweater!

ehlp!

instead of writing "help!" like i intended for my title, it came out ehlp!, and i'm leaving it that way because it made me laugh-

anyway, i'm going to post more later about my amazing weekend/"vacation", but in the meantime, i need some book recommendations! i've read so much lately that i've run dry for any more ideas. even better, let me borrow some of your books! that would make me even happier. steph, why doesn't the methuen library carry any jodi picoult books? hello! i think i'm coming out of my science fiction binge (god, i'm a troll...) but it's hard to match the greatness of "into the forest". i'm reading "the bee season" right now and i'm absolutely hating it.

thanks peeps! more to come later!

i found my new favorite of favorites book-
"into the forest" by jean hegland

the question remains...what am i supposed to read now that i'm finished such an amazingly powerful book, one that actually made me cry? (i never cry when i read...)

oh no.

tonight

i want a fire in the yard without worrying about catching the neighborhood on fire-

"he felt a delight in wood and the touch of it, neither as forester nor as carpenter; it was the delight of the living tree itself." -JRR Tolkien

yes, i'm quoting a troll, but i love this quote.

'i'm sad, mommy. i hurt my feelings." -grace, just now.

cry for help

i can't stop eating chocolate, sweets, breads, anything called "food." please help. i really just can't stop, no matter how much i read up on the benefits of eating healthy, wonderful, organic food...i absolutely have no resisting power when it comes to halloween candy, m&m's, tripoli's pizza, and fresh loaves (i'm not kidding when i say loaves) of bread from the market.

can it just be because i'm pregnant?

also, for all those concerned/interested, i had a fabulous day today, thanks to my dad and grace...spent 2nd-hand shopping for pants for the little ones (4 pairs!), walking along the water in newburyport, antiquing, watching grace ride her bike, feeding ducks, eating (of course, hello!), and just chatting. all the things i love. it's almost 4p and grace is still napping...i may have officially snapped out of it.

now off for another dip into the m&m's bag!

xo

donkeyballs

dear mama that brought your sick, donkey-coughing, little double-ear-infectionned cherub to the library yesterday,

why? why oh why would you do such a thing? not only did i feel bad for her, but last night at 2am when i was awake and sweating and cold and sick in bed, i felt really, really bad for myself.

hope i don't run into you again.

xo

bring in the funk

(i'm going to randomly post pictures of recent crafting adventures in hopes that i will feel more productive and super crafty despite my funk of a mood-)

i have this tendency to get all weirdly hormonal sometimes and really have to work at it to pull myself out of a funk. needless to say, i've been struggling a bit, working on making the days interesting enough so i don't pull my hair out with boredom and frustration. because i truly feel blessed to be able to stay home and mother grace, to be able to eat what i want, wear what i want, go to the library seven times a week and hang out by the fire during the middle of the day making fairyhouses. i need to stay grounded and healthy, especially now with this little one growing inside. i'm just feeling angsty...and "not enough". not crafty enough and not doing enough. not eating healthy enough and not doing as much as i should. not calling people back and not emailing people promptly enough. sometimes i just get so overwhelmed by the little details. make a whole quilt in a day? sure! knit a scarf or two for christmas gifts? no problem! call the electric company? the deal's off.


what is wrong with me? does anyone else feel so overwhelmed by such nothingness? i need to do something wonderful, have an adventure. john's got something in the works for the weekend, so i'm trying to focus my energies on staying upbeat until then. in the meantime, i've got storytime for 2's (which i love observing...grace trying to battle shyness and boldness at the same time) and doula class tonight.

oh pregnant belly! making it harder and harder to size my aprons...

self portrait tuesday

birthday cigar mirror

today

this is what i feel like today. enough said.

thank you to c.s. lewis and augusten burroughs for making me feel a little better.

fallish

my new favorite pastime is giving gracie my digital camera and letting her do her work. it takes up hours, and she never gets bored. it always ends in her crying when it's time to take the camera away. i love this close-up shot she took the other day of a plastic pumpkin.

this weekend has been spent scurrying, hurrying, and building fairy houses. hot chocolate and whipped cream and sweaters. spinach pie and knitting. getting ready for the twins' christening today. large fruit salad won't fit in the fridge...wondering what to do with it. off to shower.

xo