love in unlikely places

lately, love has been showing up in the most unlikely of places::

in the muddy ground- a heart-shaped print of a deer

a new tooth
a cozy for my coffee
a rain-flattened leaf on my sunroof in the van

a heart-shaped carrot in my stew


it's really all around us. really. xx

bubbies

my sweet baby and my boobies have parted ways this week. it has been painful (excruciating, really, but surprisingly not as bad as baby #1 and baby #2 weaning) but also very rewarding. it pains me to admit this, but our lives have taken a turn for the better since the milkies have stopped flowing. lulu now sleeps every night from 6pm-6am. this is huge coming from a baby who LAST WEEK was up FOUR OR FIVE FREAKING TIMES TO NURSE. i'm trying not to beat myself up to badly about stopping nursing when she's only shy of nine months. i nursed gray and joey for 14 months (random, i know) and eight months seems so young. plus, i like burning all those extra calories! but why continue on the path if it's making everyone miserable, right? lulu (who is usually the happiest baby in the world) is now even happier, if that's possible. i'm getting a full night sleep, which is weirdly awesome. we've switched bedrooms (which was a transition) and i'm pretty sure our lives will be much easier from here on in. and the boob situation is getting better (after a full week of not nursing), and now i can actually go out into public without looking completely obscene (don't ask me about having to work on monday- day two of weaning. massage and engorgement do NOT mix, let me tell you).

so this is why i've been quiet this week. and crazy. really crazy actually- my hormones must be out of whack. but i'm looking forward to the weekend...and looking forward to my thoughts being able to focus on something else BESIDES BOOBS AND MILK. even this mushroom picture reminds me of "bubbies", but that doesn't surprise you, does it?

sale!

a wee sale in the shop today, just because. jump for joy! xx

who's your person?

when you are feeling
lost
overwhelmed
alone
totally bummed out-
there is someone out there
waiting.

maybe you feel
like nobody listens
when you talk
that you are alone
on your journey
that people around you
may take and take and take
and never take a minute
to check in with you
give back
take care of you

but i promise you

i really really promise you

that there is someone out there
that feels
exactly the same way
that you're feeling
and all you need to do
is find that person
sit down with them
take a deep breath
stay in each others' company
maybe have a sip or two of coffee
listen to the words you each
have to offer
commiserate
crack open for a while
it may feel icky at first
but before you know it
you will feel all those craptastic feelings
you were feeling minutes before
melt away
(they'll feel better too)

you will be left feeling lighter
more secure
lifted up
tender
but confident
that you can
do it all again
for another day.
suddenly
you will find yourself
focusing on everything good
around you
when moments before
all you could see
was bad.
this will feel freeing
and you will
conquer the world
thanks to this new freedom.

go ahead.
go now.
go find your person.

xx

these faces

waking up at 4am and seeing this little face makes it a little bit more manageable

and these faces following shortly after just sweeten the deal.

xx

fall

the fall in new england is my medicine. throw what you will at me, universe, and i'm still gonna come out on top...thanks to sweet, sweet fall.

xx

(picture by johnny- notice the jeans. four people in one day said to me "i think it's time for new jeans". best part is that two of these people were my favorite three year old boys, which just made it so freakin' awesome.)

sustaining

(joey's portrait of mama)

there are lots of simple things
that make me happy::
a good cup of coffee
even a bad cup of coffee
eating with friends
being snuggled by babes
laughing on the couch
putting ponytails
in my daughter's hair
the tops of cupcakes
the silence when the kids go to bed
reading in bed
the sound of my neighbor's fountain
pumpkin-scented candles
a walk in the woods
an apple cider donut
with a pumpkin whoopie pie on the side
watching my friends' bellies grow
watching my friends' babies grow
carving out time to create things
the sound of the wind while i sleep
sleep
sleep
sleep.

what is sustaining you today?

scarecrow dorks

this is what we do when we go to the apple orchard. we act like scarecrow dorks.

and then take pictures.



in other news, i got my act together and posted some new things in the shop. xx

10 quick things before bed.

1. this is a little glimpse of my table at squam. it was a huge leap for me since i've never done anything like it in my life. i was encouraged by pixie and we shared a table and lots of magic happened as a result. i'm so glad i took the plunge and did it. pix, i wouldn't have done it without you.

2. i am lucky because i know so so many inspiring people. jenica is one of those people. i am certain we will be friends when we are old and gray.

3. my favorite kinds of gifts come from little people. i heart when little people make me art. it fills me up.

4. i like hot chocolate dates. especially in the fall. especially with this guy.

5. i like when babies have blue painted toenails. i especially like it if they have grass stuck between their toes.

6. i like how sometimes my baby looks like a fake baby doll.

7. i like pumpkins. and hay. and homemade applesauce in the crockpot.

8. i like how i have a clone. and i like when she's smiley and happy.

9. i like when my kids hold hands in the car and it's not staged by me. it's just happening behind me. because they are in love.

10. i like roadtrips.
but then i like to come home.

shop updates

lots of post-squam shop updates this week! priced to sell, so spread the love! xx

loud

while having lunch with friends yesterday, we got to talking about chaos and life and i mentioned offhandedly that i "run a pretty tight ship" and that" i like order", and the kids go to bed early every night, blah blah blah. but right around 4pm yesterday afternoon, i ate all of those words as the day came crashing down around me.

the kids were completely off the wall, screaming, running around half naked, beating each other with random instruments. the noise level was insane. i was attempting to entertain guests and there were drinks spilled and my friend kevin put his hands over his ears and started rocking back and forth saying how loud it was. he was promptly mounted by three screaming kids who farted in his face and spilled a full beer all over him and my floor. of course, after these words about the loudness escaped his lips, the loud factor increased exponentially- even during a game of chess. i had no real snacks to feed my friends, so we ate kid snacks like cheese cracker sandwiches and pretzels and popcorn. i had to buy takeout for dinner because i couldn't get my act together to cook a real meal for everyone. someone needed to be thrown in the bath, and then an elaborate plan for scaring said person in bath was hatched which may have involved climbing through the bathroom window. there may or may not have been a slapping fight. and homework to be done. and everyone was nibbling on the kids' dinner of macaroni and cheese from a box, for the fifth day in a row. and lulu was creeping along the furniture begging to be let in on the action and hoping not to be trampled in the process.

i looked around at what was my life and realized that yes, while my kids do go to bed at 6pm- i do NOT in fact run a tight ship. my life is filled with chaos. and my life is freaking L.O.U.D.

so while my pictures and words may be bright and cheery, just know that i never, EVER write a blog post any time between 4pm and 6pm.

i feel.

i feel a bit conflicted.
because i'm feeling a bit
beat up
worn out
bags-under-my-eyes
totally sleep deprived
up all night
abused by the kids
gray is being tough
having problems on the bus
and taking it out on mama
and i'm feeling like poo.
i'm done at 6pm every night
and feel like i don't have
an extra ounce
to give
right now.

but on the other hand,
i feel completely lifted up
by life right now
and so blessed
because every.day. (no exceptions)
there are people in and out
visitors
calls
friends who will watch vampire shows with me
and lay out quilts with toys for the baby to play with
people who eat my hastily-prepared food
and say it's good
people who eat double desserts with me
friends to visit with
from across the county
surprise beer drop-offs
and friends who stop in
just for a half hour
to catch up
friends who stop over
to poop in my toilet

the best compliment ever

so
many
good
things

that i realize

you know what?
i have
just
enough
to keep going

there's just too much good out there
for the taking.

moment captured.

a day in the life.

wish i could bottle the joy on gray's face.

i am not really sure.

i am not really sure
how it is possible
that i manage
to be surrounded

consistently

by the coolest people on the planet

every.
single.
day.

people
big and small
that make me laugh
feed my soul
refill my cup
make me dinner when i am tired
stop by unannounced and
make me smile
even when i don't feel like it
wear wigs with me
dance to the b-52's with me
love me in period-stained jammies
and love me in gold high heels.

i
am
one
lucky
mama.

giveaway!

head on over to my dear friend jenica's spot for a nina beana giveaway! i've been making these little woobies out of vintage chenille and i'm totally in love with them. hope you are, too! plus some notecards, postcards, and fun scappie pack, too! brittany is also having a giveaway there! it's a complete lovefest, i tell you.

please enter!

squam prep fyi

i just got my new mini business cards for my creative business in the mail in preparation for squam. swoon! i went with the company myminicards.com and i was really happy with the ease of the site and the speediness of the delivery. the colors are bright and the shipping was free! plus, it's always fun to see your name on paper. makes a girl feel special.

FIVE DOLLAR sale in the whole self shop

record bowls as hats? hum....

feeling kind of kooky today and want to clean out the shop before squam and in honor of the new fall season approaching. head on over and see what's left for FIVE DOLLARS. yes loves, i love fall that.much.

check it out- wishmamas!

if you have a minute or two, click over to the wish studio to read/watch my piece, wishmamas: the ultimate lesson in letting it all go. thanks!

there are.

there are moments
that are so heartbreakingly pure
that i'm pretty sure
my heart
will stop

and i look around
and wonder
how on earth
so much love
can fit into one life?

i bottle up
these moments
and save them
for when i need them most

like yesterday
when my new van broke down
60 miles away from home
and we all had to squish into
a tow truck
with a flatbed on the back,
my broken vehicle
coming along for the ride

but i looked around
at my children sandwiched around me
and my husband sitting next to
the vibrating stick shift
and i just took out my camera
and started taking pictures


and laughing.

and it was enough.

things to do when it's 100 degrees and you have no air conditioning, part 1.

dress up like a viking and put on an opera show for your guests.

(and the fact that i'm posting these pictures just goes to show you how much i.love.you.)

kewpie

puppa balancing the little kewpie doll lulu in the palm of his hand
it's one thing that just makes me so happy
to see it come
full circle
knowing he used
to do this
to me
when i was a babe

(a swim diaper was being used as a hat because i forgot to pack one for the pool- they work great! also, a big THANK YOU to the dubes for letting us swim every day during this 90+ degree weather- putting up with the bickering siblings, the meltdowns, and the baby pee and poop! you guys rock!)

or...

:: or you could just jump in anyway. xx

here

here

take this

it will make you feel better

i promise.

xx

crocodile creek shout out

how could you not love a company who's motto is "the art of play"?

what i love most about the crocodile creek products are the bright colors. i love how my kids are drawn to their simplicity and their focus on fun. i'm drawn to their eco-friendly vibe and the high quality. if you have time, check out the beautiful website. they have some fabulous back to school items, especially the drinking bottles and the lunch bags. we have the firetruck bag and gray is majorly wanting the flower one. they sell the things that i would want if i were a kid again (those playground balls would have made dodgeball more tolerable).

here's where i tried to make a little video to show us in action getting busy with the floor puzzle. our video was a bit of a trainwreck. (it's 95 degrees and humid here- so be kind!) but the puzzle was fun! and now joey knows the letter U! so here goes:


the company's treat to you, dear readers? if you buy a backpack or lunchbox from them and enter the code "BACK2SCHOOL", you'll receive free shipping! and that's always a good thing.

("everyone say bye appropriately!"

"BYE APPROPRIATELY!")

them kids

a couple weeks back we took the kids to an outdoor music festival. which seemed like an OK idea at the time but in reality there were a whole bunch of ants, a cranky baby learning to crawl, a buttload of traffic, lines of port-o-potties next to us, a three year old with explosive diarrhea, and sibling rivalry. but being who we are, we were determined to turn it into a good time. which involved making the kids dance to the sam roberts band (song "them kids" found here) and eric hutchinson (kids are fond of this song). joey is particularly good at "forced dancing", and especially "forced dancing for slush (or insert bribe here)". he really loves it so don't be alarmed.

this video, if watched closely, features a nice little joey-toot right at the end of the fanny waggle. because he's entertaining like that. i'm sure it earned him an extra treat.

meow

little things make me happy.

like making real sailboats into
cat ears

meow.

xx

what sorts of little things
make you happy?

grace the screen monster gilbert

back story:

gray busted through our front screen door today while playing with a friend. she was really really upset about it and would not stop crying, even though i was reassuring her it was in fact OK and that accidents happen. she was scared of the unknown and scared of john finding out (even though johnny is THE.NICEST.DAD.EVER. see below). so i took the liberty of calling him at work and putting him on the phone with her and he told her not to sweat it.

shortly after, we received this email from him (like i said- nicest dad ever. and as a side note, gray really did save joey's life in the pool the other day, but that's a different story for a different day)

Dear Grace The Screen Monster Gilbert,

I would never be mad at you for making a mistake. The only issue now is stopping the bugs from flying into the house, so it will now be your responsibility to stand at the door all day long waiting for flies to come into the house. You have to trap each fly in your mouth and chew them up and poop them out your fanny cheeks, make a sandwich out of them and then feed the sandwich to your baby brother.

It's just a screen. It's easily fixed and I'm not mad. Consider this an even swap for you saving Joey's life the other day. I would trade a million zillion screens for just one Jogey Bear. You're the best little screen monster in the world. Enjoy eating all of those stinking flies.

Meow, you're a cat and I love you.

five days.

there are just no words for the amount of love and adventure that can fit into five short days.



thank you to the charltons to opening up your home and your hearts to us, with love and generosity. thank you to our new friends jen and rod for opening up your cottage to us and having the perfect summer day. thank you universe for perfect breakfasts at our old favorite restaurant with fountains dripping nearby, for ice cream on the water, for viking hats, for breathing treatments, for art supplies, for well behaved children on long road trips, for a newer, functioning van, for air conditioning, for silliness, for dvd players in the car, for allowing me to witness new babies being brought into the world. i stand here in awe, loving life.


and extra shout out goes out to:
iced coffee cozies
nice labor and delivery nurses
rhine wine
buffalo wings
my sewing machine
and johnny, who bails me out when i need him. xx

(ps- lulu is totally fine but having treatments to help her breathing- joey snapped the pictures while we were at the doctor's and they snuck their way into the movie and i'm too confused/tired to figure out how to remove them. same for the picture of joey's fanny crack.)

rolls

rolls make me happy.

do they make you happy, too? xx

home

due to crazy rainy weather the first couple weeks of summer vacation, and then a recent string of van troubles, we'd had the opportunity to spend a whole bunch of time at home. or maybe it just feels like a whole lot of time because the kids have been getting up at 5am and go to bed at 6pm. which sounds pretty cool but that's a lot of hours to fill with summertime-home-fun. don't get me wrong, i love staying home and i'm blessed to do so, but then there are other days where i've barely survived having three babes scream in my face and i'm covered in snots, carrots, and poo and i'm left feeling like i've survived some whirlwind. it's chaotic and messy and mostly beautiful here in gilbertland, and i'm learning to go with the flow and mostly just let go of perfect notions of parenting.

because they don't exist.

i need a creative date with myself to keep my energy up in the crafty world. it's getting harder to carve out any time because lulu is on the verge of crawling. she's at that even-more-dangerous phase where she can scoot all over the room and when she gets tired or needs a break she just slams herself face-down into the hardwood floors. so she pretty much requires constant supervision. goodbye showers! goodbye peeing and pooing for mama! guess i'll just have to hold it for the next couple of years :)

in other bright and shiny news, i won another giveaway! pixie hosted a delicious giveaway for these caramels which I CANNOT WAIT TO CONSUME. (i'm holding myself back from saying CONSUME WITH A BOTTLE OF WINE). if you get a chance, check out this etsy shoppe because it.will.make.you.drool. and then you will want to spend your whole paypal balance on everything.

also, my girl jenica is hosting a really great month of giveaways at her blog. so go. quickly.

in other, other news, mccabe's mermaid warriors class is rocking all of our worlds. joey is seriously getting into it, too. we've all done a journal (even lulu has one) and we're in the process of finishing up. if you haven't checked out mccabe's site, please do. you'll be a smitten kitten.

finally, i'd just like to give a glorious and very public shout-out to this generous soul. kelly, we are lucky to know you and so grateful for your amazing package! it has certainly helped our home-time be more beautiful.

xx

just in case

just in case you were wondering
we're all still here
still being dorks

just soaking up life.

xx