weekend junkies

silly finger puppet shows on toes...stamping and coffee and markers...

cupcakes and milk and maybe more cupcakes...

a glimpse of steph's bday cupcakes...we didn't have candles so i made some...

a glimpse into my trash can...it pretty much sums it up- dirty diapers, coffee filters, and a bottle of wine.




good early morning again! i'm feeling so good today, pumped and creative but searching for an outlet. i've been working on a couple of projects (pictures to come) and packages to send out at the begining of next week. using the sewing machine. working with papers.

my body is transforming due to all this nursing...my stomach is starting to pull in a bit more, especially that weird stretched out part under the boobers. slowly but surely...you'd think i'd try some exercise. but no, i'll just leave it to the nursing. and did i mention how much i love nursing pum? seriously, his new thing is grabbing onto my shirt (sigh!) or onto my finger. that clutching is my foundation (thanks mamasaysom!). oh that clutching gets me every time.

i thought i'd share the poem that john wrote for me as part of our valentines day, in honor of the weekend. later on today we're headed off in the new van to the boston children's museum to celebrate potty training. gray couldn't be more excited. we gilberts are weekend junkies. have a great weekend everyone!

weekend thoughts
(at midnight during midweek)

we save the worst of ourselves for each
other, don't we?
lying beside you, smelling your still damp hair, my
knees kissing the backs of yours; the
cold breathing down our backs.
these are the only moments of the day we are
truly together.

my eyes half closed, beneath the weight of
tomorrows, half awake, mostly asleep,
i whisper to your hair just how much
i love you.

i too fall asleep and dream of us, together,
in the coming weekend-
giving the best of ourselves to each other.

-jrg.

the calm after the storm

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

there is hope, people! gracie and i had a wonderful day filled with snuggling and whispering and dancing and creating and eating and playing and reading and love. oh there is hope. her personality is the best...so complex. i had about 1,000 gracie-isms to report today but didn't write any of them down, and of course i've forgotten most of them. my favorite is:

"mum, i just tooted. you smell it? do you smell it? smell it!"

thank you so much for all the comments...they get me through the day and mean so much to me.

x!

note to self

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

when grace calls from her bed at 5am and says "mummi! mummi! i'm getting sweaty!"...sweaty does not mean actual sweat, it means pee, and she's covered in it, and so are her fresh sheets. what's up with her regression in the bedtime potty training department? we were good for about three weeks, and last night she peed twice and again this morning. maybe it has something to do with her mood swings lately. she's been so nasty to me, to her brother, to everyone. i keep trying to nurture her and giv e her special time. yesterday it seemed to work a bit. and then it all falls apart. other moments are the most touching and wonderful ones you could ever imagine.

thank you coffee.
thank you finger puppets.
thank you coloring books and markers and children's authors.
thank you pbs and pbskids.org.
thank you joey for being patient.
thank you friends for your constant debriefing.
thank you johnny for talking to me in bed even when you are sleeping.
thank you universe and steph for my new clothes.
thank you coffee.
did i mention coffee?

sara mccarthy! are you reading this? i need your snail mail address if you get a chance!

it's so early right now it's not even funny.

xo
n.

mantras

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

my mantras of the day, which i keep cycling over and over throughout my mind are as follows:

1. "imitation is the highest form of flattery."

and

2. "it's just a phase. it's just a phase. this too shall pass".

trying to stay centered amidst gray's chaotic tough times...doing lots of family storytimes and drives in the van and snuggling despite the tears.

xo

inspiration station

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

from the book "eat, love, pray" by elizabeth gilbert-

"the bhagavad gita- that ancient indian yogic text- says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection."

these words were so powerful to me when i read them the other night, tucked under the quilts in my bed. sometimes when i feel the world crowding in on me, i will remind myself of these words, over and over, a grounding chant in my mind. "live your own destiny imperfectly"! the best foundation, true words to live by.

mamasaysom.com

chubby bubby

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

happy birthday auntie em! we didn't send your treats yet-

also, who needs diets when there are thighs like this?

spent a great night at lawrence general hospital last night surrounded by pregnant mamas, talking about breastfeeding. doula doula doulaness. love learning about everything there is to learn about. i could talk about nipples for hours and hours.

and the good vibes van is offically on the road! you know it's a good thing when you get in and your favorite jack johnson/curious george song is playing, followed immediately by stevie nicks.

xo

self portrait tuesday: time

at around 3 or 4p in the afternoon, i hit a wall. after being with the two little ones...the energy and excitement and crying and ups and downs...it's at this time when i just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep. time passes so slowly from 3p until 8pish when j. gets home. time.

?!?

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

where the hell is spring?

newies

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

new links in the sidebar for any of y'all who are looking for some inspiration-

em, i want one of your belts! i lllllllllllooooooooovvvvvvvvveeeeeee them! can you at least teach me, mrs. birthday girl?

gotta love pum in a turtleneck-

off to make a birthday torte for dianne's son jay's 18th tonight-

xo

secrets revealed

my big secret is that i'm going to be an auntie...not to one baby...but to TWO IDENTICAL TWIN BABIES! auntie stephie is going to be a double mama! we're all so happy for her. the reason why it was a secret is because we had a birthday party for her here yesterday and she was waiting to reveal the secret to the girls in person...so i had to keep my trap shut. the whole identical twins part was the secret part 2 that we just recently found out.

great-full list:
-my new clothes! steph, i've never had better clothes in my life...i feel like a new woman. you need to promise me that whenever you get rid of clothes you give them to me. seriously, i feel so awesome! i'm wearing a "new" outfit today!
-debriefing with j.
-snuggletakkies
-thoughts of my new van, "the 9's"

good thing

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

good thing pum is this freakin' cute, because the little bugger was up all night (well, eight times to nurse, compared to his usual once or twice)...and if he wasn't cute, we'd be having some problems. i've been up and about drinking coffee since 5am, so i should be nice and ready for my party guests at 4pm today. hello! also, you got to love the post-preggo belly shot of me in this pic, too. and ps, never got to the hair cut place, maybe today, maybe not.

bursting

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

bursting with excitement over my secret

and we got a new used car today! i'm offically a minivan mom. our car broke down 100 times on the way over to the dealer, and they still gave us $2,200 for it. shh, that will be another one of our little secrets.

on the pum front, he's a complete snugglebum.

and i may just be headed off to get my hair cut off, locks of love style. maybe.

xo

does it get any sweeter than this pum?

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

note to self: don't wear orange on st. pat's day...(i thought i was being cute...a green shirt with an orange sweater...the colors of the irish flag...um, no. my dear irish friend almost ripped my sweater off, and i was left sulking around newburyport wondering who secretly hated me)-

off to make a big corned beef and cabbage dinner for my three sons and gracie-

also got the BEST news in the whole world today from my bestest fetus friend, but i must keep it a secret for two more days-

also, i may have gotten the worst compliment of my life today, which was as follows...."your face looks really great." basically it's a nice way of saying "your face is cute and tiny and back to normal, but the rest of you still needs work...basically you're a fat shit." i totally called the person out on it and they informed me that i should give up hopes of ever being skinny again. hum.

anywho! pum is getting cuter and cuter by the day. look at his face! he smiles and laughs constantly and has his own little language that will make your heart melt. sigh.

happy st. patricks day!

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

here's a bit of green for everyone out there...a new skirt that i made gray and eventually tore about and reconstructed with some pink fabric, too. and can you stand how cute her new clogs are? i really don't think it gets sweeter than little clogs on tiny feet.

cheers with corned beef and cabbage!
xo

hunger part 2

my nursing boy...nursing nursing nursing the days away-

i especially love how you can see a box of cheez-its (and a nursing pad) on my table behind us...an example of my hunger, too.


mamasaysom.com

hunger

there's a hunger in her eyes that i've never seen before...a hunger for more, more, more...more action, more life, more learning, just more.

xo

mamasaysom.com

calling all clothes

i have a strange request. first let me say that i'm a firm believer in "ask, and the universe shall provide". it usually works for me...for example, the other day john and i were having a conversation about how we don't have a carseat for his car, and what a pain it is, etc...and later that day, my dad came over with not one, but TWO carseats for us. with that being said, i'd like to put it out there that i need new clothes. yesterday, as i stood in front of my closet almost crying because i have nothing that fits properly or doesn't have visible holes in it, i thought to myself "why not ask?!?" . i started spring cleaning yesterday (read: spot cleaning the floor with little wet pieces of toilet paper) and getting stuff ready to drop by the salvation army, and i was thinking if any of you ladies are doing the same thing with your clothes, and feeling extra generous...can i please have them? really what it is is that i'm in desperate need of shirts. especially t-shirts. anything, really. if you've seen the way i dress, you know that i'm really not that picky at all.

thanks for listening.

and maybe if you need something, i can provide it, too. :)

self portrait tuesday part 2: time

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

the passing of time as seen through a photobooth

self portrait tuesday: time

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

we are a photobooth family...a family who documents the passing of time through photobooth pictures.

my view

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

hope everyone had a great weekend. listening to l word podcast and working on a little birthday giftie for one of my very special girls who just celebrated their day. john took grace away to get rid of some of her energy, and this is my view of joey sleeping on his boppy, except i have him sitting up on my bed. i'm sleepy, i'm sick, but i'm filled with homemade bbq pork that cooked all day and hot chocolate and everyone's taking caramel. love love love.

xo

cheesy weekend love

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

looking forward to lots of this tonight-
coldcuts, baked lays, and family sandwiches.

dear boo

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Originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

we here at the gilbert household love you and hope you have a wonderful weekend. thought this picture might make you smile.

and to everyone else, enjoy the weekend...the beautiful weather! i hope we can get outside and get some use out of grace's new garden clogs (the cutest things ever, purchased today...stay tuned for pics).

and can i just state for the record that i have the best dad in the world (he doesn't read this...not so computer literate). just putting it out there. he made me (from scratch) my most favorite delicious italian treat ever today called crispellis...and if you've never had them, you're missing out. dough, deep fried (punished), filled with double anchovies. holy good god, the best food on the planet.

xo

luck be a lady

so lucky for daddy and pum...naked bonding time



lately i've been battling the replaying of the song "anything you can do i can do better" song in my head, over and over throughout the day. it's total baggage and i find myself telling it to stop over and over. to stop the comparisons, whether it be to other mamas, to friends, to people who work outside the home. the grass never really is greener. my hormones are all over the place and the days are filled with high highs and poopy lows of energy. which is why the coffee thing never really panned out. i just love it and need it too damn much. and the cream and sugar makes it taste like liquid dessert (thanks for pointing that out, boo).

yesterday was amazing. it started off with breakfast at al's (thanks again, boo!) and then complex and elaborate food shopping that hurt my brain. then various other errands done with the help of boo (tire refilling, etc.) and then outdoor playing in the park with shannon's clan. so nice to be out in the sun and active (scary slides...i don't remember playgrounds being this scary when i was little). then boo made such a good dinner of lime and pork roast and onions in the crock pot. we burned some serious incense and read the new mags i picked up (found, venus) and drank margaritas and ate and watched american idol and project runway finale. we also made a bad attempt at making frozen chocolate covered bananas but they came out like poo, literally. so i had to resort to eating mint chocolate chip breyers straight out of the carton. twist my arm.

grace is finally potty trained. she's now convinced that it's cool to take a ride of the potty train every time she has to go. i have to say hands down it was the hardest couple of weeks i've ever been through. for her and me. it sucked. so al, keep your head up...it gets better. when they want it to. when they're ready.

joey's starting to grab and interact way more. did i mention that i love to breastfeed? i know i was feeling conflicted and sad about it a couple of months ago but we're golden now...things are so good. it's the best feeling in the world seeing his little face look up at me and smile while he's eating, milk spilling out of the corners of his mouth. wonderful.

so despite my rollercoaster emotions and constant comparisons, life is good. in the meantime, i'll keep reminding myself that "happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want." -mark twain

xo

self portrait tuesday

DSC05637, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

time time time
john and i examined each other's faces this past weekend for the evidence of passing time
wrinkles and veins and sags and memories all over here and there
our faces are tired with the passing of time
the births of our children
the joys and smiles and tears
we are older
happier
wiser

time

listie

tried to detox from coffee and soda for seven days...it lasted a little less than one

listening to michael buble

reading "my friend leonard" by james frey, who i still like no matter how much people hate him

debriefing morning with dad

eating raspberry fruit leather

purchasing tea tree oil soap

watching seasame street

anxiously awaiting pr's season finale on wed.

loving clean sheets

dear boo

the above pictures were found on my camera. i'm just putting them out there because you're always picking on me for taking too, too many pictures. mostly of myself. looks like i'm not the only self-portraiter out there...oh!

the language of love

grace's new favorite thing to do is to speak in tongues (i've never been good at spelling this word, and the spellcheck is down for the moment, so we'll have to let this one slide). she is constantly jabbering to her brother in made-up languages. her most used conversation is as follows:

"jojo da nina
roka roka
seeka seeka"

over and over again, all day long. my best guess is that gray mastered the english language long ago, and she's become bored, so she's decided to make up a new language to express her love to her little one. i'm constantly in awe of the way she chooses to exert her independence, show her love, and make her mark in this world.

seeka seeka!

say what?!?

DSC05629, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

welcome to the poo house. our house is covered in poo. welcome to the poo house. can i offer you a piece?

tasting life

DSC05704, originally uploaded by Nina Marie Gilbert.

trying my best to appreciate every taste- learning from gracie that some days are easier than others.